I Need Advice!

[yogacat]

6 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Doubt and holding off means he is not enthusiastic about meeting in person ASAP and without that enthusiasm why bother. 

Yes, that's obvious. Especially when she told him she has feelings for him and he didn't respond in kind. If she's open to waiting until October to meet him (she's seems fully willing), I suggest that she just step back 5 notches, lower her bar to companion, and keep her emotional distance for now.  Meet in October if/when the opportunity presents itself.

Do your own thing until then.

I don't think you're quite ready to cut this off on account of his lack of enthusiastism-imo, the power and appeal from this relationship lies in having hope and the fact that he's into you enough to keep talking.

[Cherylyn]

I doubt it.  He's merely an online pen pal.  ☹️

[NighttimeNightmare]

Hmm ok. @BlueEyes2013 so is this correct:

 

you met a guy online while not seeking to. You strike up a friendship with him. He says good morning/goodnight and you text throughout the day, you developed feelings for him and eventually expressed those feelings to him, he said he was not interested but continued on with the daily texting/pleasantries. This is confusing to you because you would have expected those things to stop, and you feel a bond with him, so you push to webcam and meet, under the assumption his ex did a number on him and he will eventually open up to you.  He agrees to the webcam, and that takes place, but he won’t positively agree to meet. Is this correct?

[ShySoul]

1 hour ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

The way my luck is it will probably go bad lol

But meeting him was unexpected.  I mean I just sold him movies. We just messaged on ebay from March until June. Then he messaged me his phone number

But I know my odds aren't good but I can pray and i can hope. He is very good to helping his parents as well. 

I never dated a nice man I dated guys who used me or abused me mentally. Emotionally,  verbally and physically so how he talks and treats me is foreign to me .

I met someone because I stopped in a religious chat for two minutes just to get away from all the people in other rooms who only wanted to "cyber." I figured the one place that wouldn't be filled with that would be religious people. I thought... wrong.

And yet, she messaged me a minute after I left the room. Next thing I know I'm chatting with her for two hours and again the next night. And it just kept going and growing. You never know what will happen or when. 

Of course, with my luck everything went bad anyway. But there was some joy in there for a time. Swear, if it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

I hope he can be the nice man you've been missing. And if it's only fated to be a friendship, it's still good for you to have someone like that in your life. Helps to have a positive influence, someone who an show you that caring and decent guys are still out there.

Oh, sometimes fantasyland isn't all that bad a place to be. Can help you cope with the madness of reality. Just don't make it your reality. Guess it's a nice place to visit, just don't move in. 😁

[ShySoul]

As for not meeting until October, what is his schedule like? He has a son he's trying to be a good father and has school starting up. There may be obligations there. There could be work related issues that would delay things. I know for me January would be a hard time to squeeze meeting up with someone because of how much work I tend to have. And there could also be any number of social events with friends/family that might already be planned. 

Doesn't mean he's delaying or avoiding it. Could be that he is simply busy for the next month and is waiting until he gets a spare moment (and a babysitter). Or he could be taking it slow as well and making sure it really feels right.

You're the one who knows him best and interact with him. You sound careful about this, not going in all starry eyed. You'll know if the alarm bells are ringing. So go with what you're feeling. Take it slow, enjoy the interactions, and just have fun for now.

[BlueEyes2013]

3 hours ago, ShySoul said:

BlueEyes, I saw your post. I don't believe you are in fantasy land. I trust that you are doing things slowly and will be smart about things.

As I explained, I've gone through similar things with people - some went romantic, some were just a friendship. So I know how this feels. It doesn't have to be a bad thing.

I think a lot of people have burned, hurt, or taken advantage of. So they are quick to jump to conclusions and believe your case will be the same. They see the worse in things. But it doesn't have to be that way. 

And in some case, there is just a genuine concern for your well being. There are scammers to watch out for. Even though I'm sure you know that, some people feel the need to warn everyone. Nothing against you, they might just be wanting to protect you, even if it may not be necessary for them to say.

Anyway, I'm pulling for things to work out. Best of luck with everything.

 

2 hours ago, yogacat said:

Well see, that's what worries me. Haven't met and you've applied a ton of meaning to very small and possibly innocuous statements / gestures.

I'm NOT saying he's involved in any kind of a scam, but you do need to be careful.

If you get hurt, yes, that's always a possibility in ANY relationship. Would it make sense to just step back a little and say, okay, we can be nice buddies, talk, etc., but just pour a bit of cold water on the fantasy part of this? Meet him in October? Good. Have fun. Talk. Make ZERO assumptions and just enjoy the time. If anything else comes out of it, so much the better. 

Imagine if you two hit it off? What a story! Met on Ebay and fell in love. Okay, there's the fantasy part of my brain being wee bit tricky too. Enjoy!

 

1 hour ago, NighttimeNightmare said:

F*ck boys do this all of the time. Im not insinuating this guy is a f*ck boy at all, but I’m letting you know that the whole “good morning/goodnight” thing is very easy to do and I see it done often.  It isn’t evidence of someone wanting a real connection with you.  in fact, I’ve seen it used as a tactic for the opposite.  I’ve seen guys do this to women on dating apps and the woman thinks more of the connection than is really there

 

Physically? You haven’t met lol  That aside, is it at all possible you’re putting a lot of emphasis on these things because no one has done it for you before?  Is it possible it’s so notable and impactful for you because no one has done these things for you before? As opposed to them being notable and impactful on their own. 
 

also, how did the webcam session go with him? What was that like?

That was my past relationship.  I was abused physically,  mentally , emotionally and verbal.  Not this guy. 

 

I think I'm giving up on this thread. Some stuff has been misconstrued.

[BlueEyes2013]

13 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

As for not meeting until October, what is his schedule like? He has a son he's trying to be a good father and has school starting up. There may be obligations there. There could be work related issues that would delay things. I know for me January would be a hard time to squeeze meeting up with someone because of how much work I tend to have. And there could also be any number of social events with friends/family that might already be planned. 

Doesn't mean he's delaying or avoiding it. Could be that he is simply busy for the next month and is waiting until he gets a spare moment (and a babysitter). Or he could be taking it slow as well and making sure it really feels right.

You're the one who knows him best and interact with him. You sound careful about this, not going in all starry eyed. You'll know if the alarm bells are ringing. So go with what you're feeling. Take it slow, enjoy the interactions, and just have fun for now.

He's truly a good man

 Maybe I'm went to fast I don't know

 But your advice is so kind. I feel like some others are just tearing into me

We started chatting on ebay at the end of February,  it took him 4 months to decide to send me his number to chat.

We only been texting since June 17

It really hasn't been long, and I'm stupid to develop feelings fast I know , but that's how I am. I probably scared him. But I feel in my heart there is something there but I don't know if anything will happen maybe I blew it. 

 

But I like you for trying to be positive.  These other people act like I'm stupid or something and maybe I am. But I'm not one who goes out and parties and go bar hopping. I prefer to be home. 

 

I don't like crowds I was homeless years ago and had some awful things happen to me 

 

So to that person who thinks I should go out and party no. If this guy is not it, I'm just completely done.  I wasn't even looking . But anyways thanks to all for the good advice 

[yogacat]

17 minutes ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

I think I'm giving up on this thread. Some stuff has been misconstrued.

We're trying to help. 

And you said you needed advice, so what type of advice would you be looking for?

I know you're relearning to trust your judgment. 

It sounds like you have feelings for this person, but he has not expressed the same level of interest.

Having said that, I was approached online by someone once.  We corresponded for a few weeks. He asked to take me out on a date, I said no. We still kept corresponding. He would ask me questions like "what are my dating goals," "what keeps my interest in someone," "what my vision of an ideal partner was" and similar questions. I was a bit reserved/hesitant answering.

He asked again to meet up and I told him I was open to it if he was ever in my area. He also mentioned having written a note for me. Eventually I stopped replying because he did not want to do a videocall or call first. He also never followed-up with his mention of a date so I just stopped replying.

I enjoyed talking to him and I would have been open to meeting him but it fizzled.

IMHO, your enthusiasm for him should match his enthusiasm for wanting to meet up. Anyway, I hope it works out the way you want it to. 

[NighttimeNightmare]

1 hour ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

I think I'm giving up on this thread. Some stuff has been misconstrued.

Well, in my case, that’s why I’ve asked for clarity a couple of times.  If any of us are misunderstanding you, then the advice isn’t going to be accurate - and even still, what advice ever truly is  

 

I’ve had that done to me on these boards when I was trying my hardest to accurately tell my story and correct the comments that just were not at all what I was experiencing with the individual in question.  It felt like no matter how many times I tried to say “no this isn’t what’s happening,” I wasn’t being heard. I can understand how it’s frustrating and how it’s easy to fall into from those offering their thoughts 

 

overall, I think people are trying to help you.  Can you let us know whats been misconstrued so we can get back on track? 

[BlueEyes2013]

1 hour ago, ShySoul said:

As for not meeting until October, what is his schedule like? He has a son he's trying to be a good father and has school starting up. There may be obligations there. There could be work related issues that would delay things. I know for me January would be a hard time to squeeze meeting up with someone because of how much work I tend to have. And there could also be any number of social events with friends/family that might already be planned. 

Doesn't mean he's delaying or avoiding it. Could be that he is simply busy for the next month and is waiting until he gets a spare moment (and a babysitter). Or he could be taking it slow as well and making sure it really feels right.

You're the one who knows him best and interact with him. You sound careful about this, not going in all starry eyed. You'll know if the alarm bells are ringing. So go with what you're feeling. Take it slow, enjoy the interactions, and just have fun for now.

My birthday is in October, he didn't suggest October,  I did. 

I'm turning 40 that's depressing itself lol.

But I'm not rushing him.  He's been happy being single the last 3 years so if or when he's ever interested ok, but I'm not going t9 date anyone else . If it doesn't work out. I'm just completely done with the whole dating and men thing. 

 

It's sad I always wanted to get married and have kids but I wasted to much time with a bad man and now it's to late. But I figure I would try with this guy.  

I have prayed for a good man all my life, hasn't gotten me anywhere sadly

 But everyone thank you for all the advice.

[BlueEyes2013]

56 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

 

 

57 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

^^Your initial post said March BlueEyes2013.  First on the ebay app and then phone after he gave you his number. 

Anyway, apologies if you think I've been unkind. 

I guess because I and others gave opinions other than what you wanted to hear which happens a lot so I get it. 

But I didn't read anything unkind from anyone. 

Believe it or not we are all here trying to help you as we don't want to see you get hurt. 

Good luck. 

 

 

 

I'm sorry. We didn't talk much of personal life on ebay , but once he gave his number we really started to get to know each other

I know a relationship won't happen. But I can hope right? I'm not lucky at all. It be nice for me to get something good for once. 

 

I apologize if I said anything wrong. I just hate my hormones.  Lol

[yogacat]

13 minutes ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

My birthday is in October, he didn't suggest October,  I did. 

Ah the plot thickens. Is there a reason you prefer to wait until October? Curious minds and all that😃

[rainbowsandroses]

 

12 minutes ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

 

I'm sorry. We didn't talk much of personal life on ebay , but once he gave his number we really started to get to know each other

I know a relationship won't happen. But I can hope right? I'm not lucky at all. It be nice for me to get something good for once. 

 

I apologize if I said anything wrong. I just hate my hormones.  Lol

No worries I ended up deleting a couple of my posts.  Including the one you quoted. 

Reading your last couple of posts, I really really hope this works out for you!  

It sounds like you've been through a lot and my goodness you deserve it!  

Perhaps ShySoul is right that he simply wants to wait until this feels "right," we don't know what he's been through and he may be just as wary and cautious as you are. 

That's me trying to be positive because I'm not a big fan of online interactions (except when it's a friendship) especially when they involve distance but you never know! 

I hope you will keep us posted!  I'd really love to follow this journey with you, you sound like a lovely person and I'm sorry for all the crap you've been through! 💛

 

[BlueEyes2013]

1 hour ago, rainbowsandroses said:

 

No worries I ended up deleting a couple of my posts.  Including the one you quoted. 

Reading your last couple of posts, I really really hope this works out for you!  

It sounds like you've been through a lot and my goodness you deserve it!  

Perhaps ShySoul is right that he simply wants to wait until this feels "right," we don't know what he's been through and he may be just as wary and cautious as you are. 

That's me trying to be positive because I'm not a big fan of online interactions (except when it's a friendship) especially when they involve distance but you never know! 

I hope you will keep us posted!  I'd really love to follow this journey with you, you sound like a lovely person and I'm sorry for all the crap you've been through! 💛

 

My birthday is October 13. I never been superstitious but how my life has been I'm beginning to think I'm cursed. 

He makes me smile.  Believe me , I think or all the negative to, but I'm hoping he isn't a liar. But if he is, well then I guess that's that. 

I do understand what everyone on here is saying I do. But my heart always hopes for things that may be impossible.  

I do pray. I honestly hadn't thought a man would ever come along that I thought was worth pursuing until this guy. 

I have not been with anyone since 2019. I have had guys interested but not my type just the guys who wants money or whatever. 

This guy gives me butterflies and when I look at his photos I always smile.

 

But I do thank you. I'm just hoping for good luck for once. 

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

But I like you for trying to be positive.  These other people act like I'm stupid or something and maybe I am. But I'm not one who goes out and parties and go bar hopping. I prefer to be home. 

I think you're a person who is getting caught up in a fantasy.  I didn't bar hop to meet men or see bars as a way to find a husband. But because I wanted marriage and family I forced myself to go to many events and gatherings where I might meet suitable men or people who could introduce me to them.  I was extroverted but for more than half of the 24 years I was in the dating scene on and off I worked unpredictable stressful hours and far more than full time.  I did not want to go out as much as I did but the goals I had made it worth it for me.  Despite zero guarantees.

For me finding the right person means becoming the right person and it's a combination of heart and head - I love my son to the moon and back and sometimes I cannot follow my heart to do what's in his best interests -I need to use my head too.  I love my husband very much and if while we were dating he changed his mind about having a child - I'd have ended the relationship despite hoping and praying in my heart he'd change his mind back because hope in one's heart sometimes has to give way to reality. But even before that I chose a man who'd wanted a family for as long as I'd known him and I'd known him 20 years by the time we reconnected and started dating.  You pick someone where  you lessen the risk of the person suddenly doing something way out of character or values, suddenly breaking a commitment. No guarantees but head and heart help in that.  IMO. 

Totally follow  your heart and tell yourself you "can't help what your heart feels" but please know the downsides are living in a world of higher risk of disappointment, getting hurt unnecessarily, etc  And not becoming the right person to find the right person -with rare exception most healthy marriages/relationships I know of are where there is true love, true chemistry and passion and reacting to emotions with a balance of head and heart especially when things are challenging internally or externally.

Staying in your home obviously is ineffective -to me dating sites are one of many ways to meet people in person ASAP.  Only those who are available to meet and enthusiastic about meeting.  In real life I met men through volunteer work, singles events -some at a bar but it was a planned event, through book club friends, through a women's networking event, professional organizations and at Club Med (I went by myself 2-3 times and ended up making a lifelong female friend-and meeting her friends -we happened to live close by and I met men who I kept in touch with after). 

I had a crush on a neighbor in my apartment building and then I met another female neighbor who knew him - chatted with her in the laundry room and she set us up.  I put myself out there to meet this woman who I saw chatting with him - I was thinking of putting a note in his mailbox and my mama advised against it LOL.  My friend met her husband in her building's laundry room on Valentines Day.  

Obviously you can severely limit your dating pool by chasing fantasies and  telling yourself inaccurate stories about how you have to party and bar hop to meet men.  No one ever has to date. I don't know that I'd date if heaven forbid something happened to my husband,  No one ever has to marry or be seriously involved but you are suggesting you wish to be,  This typing and talking to this stranger -a stranger for all dating and safety purposes - is self-sabotaging for that goal of yours -or be honest with yourself and accept that  you're not willing to leave your home and you're too scared to be a person who might be vulnerable in a dating or relationship situation.  That's ok too.  Obviously you are a person who is intelligent and aware of her surroundings and has likes and dislikes. 

[MissCanuck]

11 hours ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

He's truly a good man

Sorry, but you have no idea if this is true. 

You can't know this about someone unless you spend time with them in person. You are not stupid, but you are very clearly getting carried away with your hopes and ideals here. That's why posters are concerned - you're not using a lot of common sense. 

At  nearly 40, you need to do a better job keeping both feet on the ground in these situations and remember that online does not always reflect real life, no matter how badly we want it to. 

 

[Andrina]

It's sad to think that you likely have 45 or more years left on the planet and yet have decided this man who says he's not interested in dating is the only shot you're willing to take.

It's obvious you could really benefit from a longterm therapy program to get to a mentally healthier state. God helps those who help themselves. You can't expect good results isolating yourself in your home, and a man will feel smothered if he's the only good thing you have going on in your life. We're all taking time to help you and therapy will also having you achieving a more resilient mindset. What you see as biting criticism now, will later become, if you've been successful in therapy, a shrug and you thinking, Well, I don't agree but maybe if more than one person is saying it, perhaps I should consider it with more thought since they are objective and I'm too close to the situation.

Since you're religious, perhaps join a congregation for the time being as baby steps to communication with likeminded people and to partake in charity work and bible study groups. A good way to develop some faith that there are still some good people around in your local community. Take care.

[BlueEyes2013]

I'm not going to any church

 They did me wrong as a child by bullying me

 I talk to God and pray in my own time

I am not going to go out partying and in crowds. Obviously some have ignored the part I was homeless and was assaulted several times while people could have helped but didn't

 

I'm doing Therapy. But I'm not going to go out . I told some I am not going to cry if this doesn't work out. I have given up on finding someone 

 

I been drugged and assaulted and then another time while on a train I was assaulted and I cried for help and all people did was ignore so me being out in crowds or around a lot of people isn't going to happen

 

Maybe I'm in a fantasy world,  but maybe he's actually who he says he is. 

I have come to terms that this may not go anywhere but I'm going to stay positive until I know for sure. I have had way to many negative and toxic people in my life

 

For those who actually are nice thank you so much. I hated having to get into a past thing that Devastated me but maybe those who keep saying I need to go out and meet people will understand better

My anxiety is extremely bad around a lot of people after what happened to Me

 

Thank you again 

[BlueEyes2013]

2 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Sorry, but you have no idea if this is true. 

You can't know this about someone unless you spend time with them in person. You are not stupid, but you are very clearly getting carried away with your hopes and ideals here. That's why posters are concerned - you're not using a lot of common sense. 

At  nearly 40, you need to do a better job keeping both feet on the ground in these situations and remember that online does not always reflect real life, no matter how badly we want it to. 

 

You don't have to be rude. Why respond ? 

[rainbowsandroses]

2 hours ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

You don't have to be rude.  Why respond ?

???  I'm honestly confused by this^ response.

 

[MissCanuck]

2 hours ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

You don't have to be rude. Why respond ? 

I wasn't rude. 

I'm trying to give you a much-needed reality check and not sugar-coat it. Skip it if you don't want to hear it. Easy. 

[yogacat]

On 8/21/2024 at 9:59 AM, BlueEyes2013 said:

So I need advice and help. I'm confused.

So I sell on Ebay and I met this guy. He's amazing and wonderful and through there he messaged me his phone number.

We actually been messaging each other on Ebay since March of this year. But he gave me his number in June.

 

We started texting June 17. He would always send me a Good morning Sunshine text and a Goodnight text but we would text each other randomly throughout the day.

About a month ago I revealed I had feelings for him he pretty much rejected me but I'm thinking his Ex wife put him through a lot but I don't know.

Anyways, he still sends me good morning and goodnight texts, we still text a lot, he'll tell me what he's doing at home or at work , and he'll tell me if he's going somewhere and can't text much.

I forgot to mention we live in different states only about 5 hours apart. So we haven't met in person But the distance is not a problem for me. I could easily drive there.

But just the other night at his goodnight text he always sends a red heart emoji but he did a kissy face emoji as well.

Is there any chance he may develop feelings for me or should i just not put much thought in all this.

I been alone for 5 years I wasn't even thinking I'd meet someone that was such an amazing man but I think I did. He knows my feelings for him. I'm just a bit confused.

Thank you for any answers.. I don't want to push him because he has become a best friend to me as well…

 

Also, It's been 5 years since I even thought of being in another relationship so my heart is finally open to trying again.

 

Also he's 45 and I'm turning 40 in a few monthes. I just need good advice. I have feelings for him but I was wondering if anything could possibly happen. I think his Ex did a number on him. 

 

Thank you!

I'm very sorry this happened to you. What about this particular guy makes you feel like he could be different from those negative and toxic people in your past? I'm happy for you that you're meeting him in October, albeit, you didn't specify why YOU'RE choosing to postpone it until then.

I mean, is there a reason that you prefer to wait to meet him? Do you think you'll grow more attached to this guy from now until October? Some people find virtual relationships much easier as it doesn't feel so pressing to meet someone physically since the messages you send to each other are certainly capable of carrying infinite information and emotional inflection.

[ShySoul]

17 hours ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

But I like you for trying to be positive.  These other people act like I'm stupid or something and maybe I am. But I'm not one who goes out and parties and go bar hopping. I prefer to be home. 

I don't like crowds I was homeless years ago and had some awful things happen to me 

It's not easy to be postive and I feel like giving up just as much as anyone. All I know is there has to be better then what we've exprienced. And there has to be a reason for all we've endured. It's easy to get negative and think the worse. Truth is, sometimes clinging to that bit of hope is necessary to get through the day, especially if you've been through something really rough. There is a line you can walk, between hope and despair. You can find the middle ground, not being completely deluded by something but still willing to have faith and believe it is possible. Which is what I think you are trying to do. It's a difficult road and I wish you success with it.

I also don't like bars, parties, crowds, or the like. Staying home works just fine for me. And I've also wished for someone nice who I could marry. Think we get each other.

I know this thread is focused on the guy, but I do hope these awful things that happened don't affect you too much in the rest of your life. Being homeless is a scary thing to experience. If you ever need to talk about that or anything else, please do. Think we all want the best for you.

[ShySoul]

4 hours ago, BlueEyes2013 said:

I been drugged and assaulted and then another time while on a train I was assaulted and I cried for help and all people did was ignore so me being out in crowds or around a lot of people isn't going to happen

If that is what you have experienced, you don't need any of us here to give you a reality check. You don't need to be told you are creating a fantasy or pinning all your hopes on one person. That's the opposite of what is happening. You have experienced too much reality already, seen the worst part of humanity. That you actually feel like you can open up and trust someone is amazing. It makes sense that you, as you have stated many times, aren't expecting it to be more. You know it might not work out and are okay with that. You're handling everything remarkable well, especially for someone who has gone through such a horrible and heinous event.

Sorry you feel some have been rude. The problem with an online forum is that you are going to get a wide range of people responding. Some approach things with calm and comfort. Others feel it's best to be direct and harsh. Others don't read and just say whatever they feel based off their own personal bias.

Please, don't take anything as criticism. I agree, in some cases comments can cross a line and be rude. But don't let them get to you. Ignore it and focus on the positive messages and ones that show respect for your situation.

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, yogacat said:

Some people find virtual relationships much easier as it doesn't feel so pressing to meet someone physically since the messages you send to each other are certainly capable of carrying infinite information and emotional inflection.

@yogacat I think this^ is true and also emotionally safer!  

@BlueEyes2013 I think I understand where you're coming from (correct me if I'm mistaken) and absolutely NO judgment I promise you because I was in the exact same place several years ago after a long term relationship/engagement ended and I was quite devastated.

And as such, I was in NO way ready for another intense "in-person" relationship with responsibilities, obligations and "pressure."

A man on another forum very much like this one reached out to me, I pretty much fell for him immediately!  To this day I don't know why but I did.  

He lived in another country around 5,000 miles away and I knew we'd never meet in person, I didn't care, TBH I didn't even want to!!

I enjoyed (and preferred) interacting with him online, why?  It was easier as yoga said, no pressure, no obligations AND even more importantly - safer!  

I actually fell in love with him or thought I did anyway.  For me it felt like love anyway even though we had never met in person. 

It didn't end well but I won't get into that, that's not why I am sharing this.

I am only sharing it because sometimes, for some people, depending on where they're at in their lives and/or what they've been through, online relationships are actually preferable.  

Hell, there are couples who have fallen in love and gotten married online!!  They have never met and they actually prefer it that way!!

They have dates on line, share meals on line, watch movies together online all through Skype or FaceTime or another video provider. 

Social anxiety is the main reason, fear of going out, whatever, it's not for me to judge. 

It's not like in person obviously but you're nevertheless still communicating, sharing thoughts, ideas, feelings and experiences albeit limited but it suits them. 

It's just being done via the written word, not unlike what people did back in the day before computers writing letters back and forth except with the birth of technology, the messages are relayed much faster. 

And video. 

Anyway IF this is where you're at, just enjoy it and the good feelings. 

Maybe it will lead to more, you will meet someday, click in person and move forward to a relationship, maybe not.

Just ride with it wherever it takes you, keeping your feet on the ground and remaining prudent. 

JMO fwiw, stay positive and enjoy!