A girl complemented me like no one ever had and I don’t know what to make of it

[Batya33]

45 minutes ago, SC2005 said:

I don’t really know man. I’m just gonna keep talking and see how it goes. 

Just a thought -strike while the iron is hot.  Timing matters. Tomorrow she could meet someone else and you're just "talking". My husband's friends advised him to wait before asking if I wanted to get back together-to wait a month or more I believe - had he- I'm just not sure we'd be married now. I was actively dating. I know of several examples where -mostly men- waited and missed out. Including because the woman got tired of waiting and felt she was showing interest so by then she'd sort of stopped focusing on potential.  

[ShySoul]

15 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I don’t really know man. I’m just gonna keep talking and see how it goes. 

Do what you feel is right for you. Don't hold back out of fear. Likewise, don't rush faster then you are ready because you fear missing your chance. Just do what you are ready for. If it's supposed to happen, it will.

Enjoy yourself, have fun, and relax. You got this. 😉

[Cherylyn]

Even though you may not be that into her,  appreciate anyone who pays you a nice compliment because it's few and far between. 

Some people never compliment yet their silence is their sincerest form of flattery as my mother used to say years ago. 

Whenever anyone compliments you,  sincerely and humbly say, "Thank you.  I appreciate what you've said."  Something to that effect.  People appreciate being thanked after they've expressed commendable traits regarding your character which is truly an honor.  Nothing in this life is more important and treasured than the quality of one's character. 

Whenever anyone pays you a heartfelt compliment,  graciously accept it because earning this level of respect is priceless.   People trust you with their gut instincts and if they pay you a compliment,  you are worthy of their admiration. 

Listen to your gut though.  Some people compliment you just to make conversation or make you feel good even though they don't really mean it.  I say, "Thank you" anyway but I don't always believe it dependent on whom it's coming from.  🙄  Nonetheless,  I'm a good sport and go along with it.  However,  it doesn't mean I have a particular affinity nor allegiance to that person. 

 

 

[ShySoul]

1 hour ago, Cherylyn said:

Some people never compliment yet their silence is their sincerest form of flattery as my mother used to say years ago. 

Thank you for reminding me of that. Think it's really easy to get caught up in the need to speak and say things to say them. But looking back, the things that have touched me most required few if any words. Someone just being there to listen, a reassuring arm around me, a smile, a simple and sincere thank you... they meant more then all the flowery words or showy actions.

Genuine compliments are indeed an honor and should be cherished. Those who give them should be respected and appreciated. And it's the quality of a person's character that reveals the real them.

[Cherylyn]

23 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

Thank you for reminding me of that. Think it's really easy to get caught up in the need to speak and say things to say them. But looking back, the things that have touched me most required few if any words. Someone just being there to listen, a reassuring arm around me, a smile, a simple and sincere thank you... they meant more then all the flowery words or showy actions.

Genuine compliments are indeed an honor and should be cherished. Those who give them should be respected and appreciated. And it's the quality of a person's character that reveals the real them.

Thank you for your kind words @ShySoul.  I agree,  many times actions speak louder than words and non-actions,  passive aggression or not caring speak louder than words, too. 

Genuine compliments are indeed considered an honor to be cherished and appreciated.  👍  I agree,  it's very telling of a person's selfless character whenever they give sincere compliments. 

[SC2005]

6 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

Even though you may not be that into her,  appreciate anyone who pays you a nice compliment because it's few and far between. 

Some people never compliment yet their silence is their sincerest form of flattery as my mother used to say years ago. 

Whenever anyone compliments you,  sincerely and humbly say, "Thank you.  I appreciate what you've said."  Something to that effect.  People appreciate being thanked after they've expressed commendable traits regarding your character which is truly an honor.  Nothing in this life is more important and treasured than the quality of one's character. 

Whenever anyone pays you a heartfelt compliment,  graciously accept it because earning this level of respect is priceless.   People trust you with their gut instincts and if they pay you a compliment,  you are worthy of their admiration. 

Listen to your gut though.  Some people compliment you just to make conversation or make you feel good even though they don't really mean it.  I say, "Thank you" anyway but I don't always believe it dependent on whom it's coming from.  🙄  Nonetheless,  I'm a good sport and go along with it.  However,  it doesn't mean I have a particular affinity nor allegiance to that person. 

 

 

I am into her by now.

The thing is, we talked really deeply, and I hold back when we talk now as I don’t wanna re-enter deep territory she may not be comfortable with or make it seem like I wanna know every detail of her life. Right now we’re just talking a lot, but often there’s a clear Segway to a deep conversation and I withdraw. What do you think? 
 

would it be weird to thank her again for the compliment if it was relevant to the convo? Do people like being thanked that much that it wouldn’t be weird to re-thank her after 2 weeks ?

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I am into her by now.

The thing is, we talked really deeply, and I hold back when we talk now as I don’t wanna re-enter deep territory she may not be comfortable with or make it seem like I wanna know every detail of her life. Right now we’re just talking a lot, but often there’s a clear Segway to a deep conversation and I withdraw. What do you think? 
 

would it be weird to thank her again for the compliment if it was relevant to the convo? Do people like being thanked that much that it wouldn’t be weird to re-thank her after 2 weeks ?

I would move past what she said and no need to have deep talk all the time - have fun - do you like to joke around/banter with her? I caught up with a really close friend last week -we met in 1980.  We talked about her dislike of hazelnut, Burmese food, how her nephew is doing, foreign language learning, toxic work environments and touched on politics even! We did not figure out how to save the world, stop the aging process, or about how we felt about each other's aura.  Was it a deep conversation -for sure -because we laughed a lot, caught each other up and felt all those warm feelings when someone gets you.  No need to "go deep" the whole 45 minute convo to -be deep. IMO.

[Cherylyn]

10 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I am into her by now.

The thing is, we talked really deeply, and I hold back when we talk now as I don’t wanna re-enter deep territory she may not be comfortable with or make it seem like I wanna know every detail of her life. Right now we’re just talking a lot, but often there’s a clear Segway to a deep conversation and I withdraw. What do you think? 
 

would it be weird to thank her again for the compliment if it was relevant to the convo? Do people like being thanked that much that it wouldn’t be weird to re-thank her after 2 weeks ?

If you've already thanked her for the compliment,  then don't thank her yet again. 

If you don't like deep conversations with her,  instead of withdrawing,  be frank with her.  Tell her you want to keep conversations lighter otherwise you're wasting each other's time and energy. 

She may very well be the type who engages in deep conversations.  I know I do with friends and they likewise because this is our personality.  We do not make our entire conversations about only rainbows 🌈🌈🌈  and lollipops.  🍭🍭 🍭

[ShySoul]

11 hours ago, SC2005 said:

The thing is, we talked really deeply, and I hold back when we talk now as I don’t wanna re-enter deep territory she may not be comfortable with or make it seem like I wanna know every detail of her life. Right now we’re just talking a lot, but often there’s a clear Segway to a deep conversation and I withdraw. What do you think? 

Is it nerves? Now that you are having feelings you are second guessing things and worrying about getting to close or saying too much because you don't want to mess things up. You're afraid of her reaction - be it her being uncomfortable or even things going well and feelings growing stronger. So you clam up and can't speak like you really want to.

I've been there. Opening yourself on those deeper levels is scary. And it's even more scary when you have feelings for someone. Every conversation seems more important, make or break. You want them to think well of you and sometimes deeper conversations can leave you vulnerable. You worry about putting yourself in the best light.

Those deep conversations, however, are how you get closer to someone. It's what can turn a friendship into more. It's when I've realized I could talk to someone about anything - no matter how serious or silly - that I saw just how much she meant to me. It was being able to share our feelings on any topic that brought us together. Having those real, deep conversations helped build our love.

So face the fear my friend. It's worth it. She has shown she enjoys the talks with you. You enjoyed them. So be in the moment with her and allow yourself to just enjoy it. Go where the conversation takes you. Don't question or overthink. Enjoy the ride and have fun with it. Have fun with her. 

[SC2005]

On 8/30/2024 at 10:18 PM, ShySoul said:

Is it nerves? Now that you are having feelings you are second guessing things and worrying about getting to close or saying too much because you don't want to mess things up. You're afraid of her reaction - be it her being uncomfortable or even things going well and feelings growing stronger. So you clam up and can't speak like you really want to.

I've been there. Opening yourself on those deeper levels is scary. And it's even more scary when you have feelings for someone. Every conversation seems more important, make or break. You want them to think well of you and sometimes deeper conversations can leave you vulnerable. You worry about putting yourself in the best light.

Those deep conversations, however, are how you get closer to someone. It's what can turn a friendship into more. It's when I've realized I could talk to someone about anything - no matter how serious or silly - that I saw just how much she meant to me. It was being able to share our feelings on any topic that brought us together. Having those real, deep conversations helped build our love.

So face the fear my friend. It's worth it. She has shown she enjoys the talks with you. You enjoyed them. So be in the moment with her and allow yourself to just enjoy it. Go where the conversation takes you. Don't question or overthink. Enjoy the ride and have fun with it. Have fun with her. 

Thanks. Helps a lot. And thanks @Batya33 for pointing out we can’t be taking deep all the time … sometimes it’s just casual talk for a long time and that’s ok, right? 

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, SC2005 said:

Thanks. Helps a lot. And thanks @Batya33 for pointing out we can’t be taking deep all the time … sometimes it’s just casual talk for a long time and that’s ok, right? 

I actually meant that -yes -and that "casual talk" can be deeper than "deep talk"  - google the old SNL skit "deep thoughts" -very often you can get much closer to someone hearing about their day and sharing your day than having a Deep Talk.

[SC2005]

I don’t really know what to make of it, she gave me these crazy compliments, would message me a lot, now just acts normal pretty much. We still talk a lot but only out of necessity when we’re together and need to pass time. Did I not respond strong enough when she was sending signals?  
 

So confusing honestly … 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I don’t really know what to make of it, she gave me these crazy compliments, would message me a lot, now just acts normal pretty much. We still talk a lot but only out of necessity when we’re together and need to pass time. Did I not respond strong enough when she was sending signals?  
 

So confusing honestly … 

What is confusing? Are you confused as to whether she wants to go on a date with you? Sorry I forgot -did you ask her out on a proper date in advance -time and place? Stop with the signals IMO because you're choosing to confuse yourself. If you want to know if she thinks you have that aura she mentioned assume she still thinks so.  If you want to know if she's interested in dating you ask her out.

[ShySoul]

Could be any reason. Could have other things on her mind or be busy. 

Trying to figure out why people do things is often an exercise in futility. It will drive you crazy and paralyze you into inaction. 

What do you feel? If you want to ask her out, then do so. If you can't bring yourself to do it, nothing wrong with that. Keep talking like you have. But know that not saying something runs the risk of missing out on any chance you have, that you may drift apart or that someone else will enter the picture.

It's always a risk either way. Do what you are comfortable with and what is right for you.

[SC2005]

1 hour ago, ShySoul said:

Could be any reason. Could have other things on her mind or be busy. 

Trying to figure out why people do things is often an exercise in futility. It will drive you crazy and paralyze you into inaction. 

What do you feel? If you want to ask her out, then do so. If you can't bring yourself to do it, nothing wrong with that. Keep talking like you have. But know that not saying something runs the risk of missing out on any chance you have, that you may drift apart or that someone else will enter the picture.

It's always a risk either way. Do what you are comfortable with and what is right for you.

Thank you v much

[AuthenticSelf]

8 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I don’t really know what to make of it, she gave me these crazy compliments, would message me a lot, now just acts normal pretty much. We still talk a lot but only out of necessity when we’re together and need to pass time. Did I not respond strong enough when she was sending signals?  
 

So confusing honestly … 

Oh no, that is losing interest. 

She was so much into you but probably not anymore.

[SC2005]

3 hours ago, AuthenticSelf said:

Oh no, that is losing interest. 

She was so much into you but probably not anymore.

Oh well 

[greendots]

8 hours ago, SC2005 said:

Oh well 

Ask her out again with a specific plan in mind. Place, date and time. That's your best bet in knowing how she truly feels about you.

For example, I will eventually stop making an effort if the guy I am interested in doesn't ask me out. So, trust me, ask her out. You can guess and try to read signs... or you can find out the actual truth by asking her out.

Ask her out.