A girl complemented me like no one ever had and I don’t know what to make of it

[rainbowsandroses]

12 minutes ago, SC2005 said:

I honestly feel that way. Neither of us have ever been in a relationship, we’re 19, basically kids. She said she tells me things she doesn’t even tell her female friends. 

Okay, fair enough!  Given this^, it could very well be the truth. 

How do you feel about her?  Jmo but I sense something is there, otherwise this thread probably wouldn't exist. 

You'd be indifferent to her comment and that would be that.

Instead you're here eliciting opinions asking what she meant, etc. 

Yeah I think something's there and you should ask her out! 😂

[SC2005]

9 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Okay, fair enough!  Given this^, it could very well be the truth. 

How do you feel about her?  Jmo but I sense something is there, otherwise this thread probably wouldn't exist. 

You'd be indifferent to her comment and that would be that.

Instead you're here eliciting opinions asking what she meant, etc. 

Yeah I think something's there and you should ask her out! 😂

Lol, well, if I am honest … I think I was very flattered by the attention and complement. And maybe I have a small crush, but I’m not sure. Not as strong as my past ones …

[ShySoul]

If a person is willing to open up about the worse parts of their life, they at least trust you and like you to some degree. Its open on if that is enough for something serious, but its a positive sign no matter what.

The good things I've had started with us feeling comfortable enough to open up to each other and share really private things. We felt like the other could understand us and wouldn't do anything to make us feel bad. That level of trust helped form a bond that grew into something beautiful.

And she wanted to know if you had a girlfriend. Sound positive to me.

The important thing is how you feel. If you like her, take a chance. Keep talking. Ask her out. Whatever you are comfortable with. See where it could lead. 

[ShySoul]

11 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

however believe we all project a certain energy, both positive and negative, and certain people can bring out either one.

It's the reason why we "click" (feel more comfortable and get on) with some people better than others. 

Even many science people believe that.  According to NASA, the Universe consists of "all of space, and all the matter and energy that space contains."

That's what I believe as well. 

There is more to this world then just what we can see. Its the feelings and emotions we project from inside us that really draw and repel others. Some people you innately know you get along with. There's something about them that they radiate and you know you can trust them and want to be around them. Others you can tell aren't someone you want to be around.

What energy we give off can make a huge difference.

Don't know how much spiritual I believe in, but there are forces we don't know about at this point in our development.

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, ShySoul said:

f a person is willing to open up about the worse parts of their life, they at least trust you and like you to some degree. Its open on if that is enough for something serious, but its a positive sign no matter what.

Unfortunately not in my life -mostly yes.  In other experiences it was done as a tactic to feign closeness when the real motive was a selfish and/or a criminal one.  But mostly yes it is a positive sign. Also if a person seems to be oversharing that might be more of a reflection on their own needs than feeling close to the other person.  I'm a very approachable person. People open up to me much more easily than average.  Sometimes it's from closeness but not necessarily.

[SC2005]

5 hours ago, ShySoul said:

If a person is willing to open up about the worse parts of their life, they at least trust you and like you to some degree. Its open on if that is enough for something serious, but its a positive sign no matter what.

The good things I've had started with us feeling comfortable enough to open up to each other and share really private things. We felt like the other could understand us and wouldn't do anything to make us feel bad. That level of trust helped form a bond that grew into something beautiful.

And she wanted to know if you had a girlfriend. Sound positive to me.

The important thing is how you feel. If you like her, take a chance. Keep talking. Ask her out. Whatever you are comfortable with. See where it could lead. 

Thank you

[ShySoul]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Unfortunately not in my life -mostly yes.  In other experiences it was done as a tactic to feign closeness when the real motive was a selfish and/or a criminal one.  But mostly yes it is a positive sign. Also if a person seems to be oversharing that might be more of a reflection on their own needs than feeling close to the other person.  I'm a very approachable person. People open up to me much more easily than average.  Sometimes it's from closeness but not necessarily.

Sorry you have come across those who would take advantage of your kindness. Yes, there are those who are will overburden others. They care more about talking about themselves and it doesn't matter who is on the other end. Or they are trying to get something for themselves. 

But in generally I've found people most people are good. If they talk it's about more lighthearted topics and aren't going to go into serious personal things with just anyone. Individual experiences will vary of course.

Without reason to believe otherwise, I'd say that's likely here. SC2005, go with the flow and see how it feels to you. Enjoy the time with her, and hopefully it's the start of something good.

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, ShySoul said:

Sorry you have come across those who would take advantage of your kindness. Yes, there are those who are will overburden others. They care more about talking about themselves and it doesn't matter who is on the other end. Or they are trying to get something for themselves. 

But in generally I've found people most people are good. If they talk it's about more lighthearted topics and aren't going to go into serious personal things with just anyone. Individual experiences will vary of course.

Without reason to believe otherwise, I'd say that's likely here. SC2005, go with the flow and see how it feels to you. Enjoy the time with her, and hopefully it's the start of something good.

It wasn’t like that. It was a person oversharing and the “I feel so open “ etc but some had nefarious motives. I wasn’t being extra kind just making conversation. I don’t feel special typically in that situation.  I do when it’s already a close friend who trusts me with a confidence and knows I’ll be supportive.  And I don’t need the “I’ve never been this open with anyone you have an aura “ stuff. The fact that she is sharing it with me is more than enough. 

[smackie9]

20 hours ago, SC2005 said:

Because I don’t really know if I like her romantically or not 

If you don't know...then you are not. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

If you don't know...then you are not. 

Sometimes those feelings can develop and going on a date can't hurt.

[ShySoul]

2 hours ago, smackie9 said:

If you don't know...then you are not. 

Sometimes you don't know... until you know.

I've had cases where I got along great, had fun with them, but if someone asked me if I liked them as more then friends, I would have been confused as to my feelings. But the more time spent with them, more I saw I did like them until I couldn't deny it any more.

[smackie9]

21 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Sometimes those feelings can develop and going on a date can't hurt.

I have done the "Lets see if" method many times and I ended up hurting that person. For me instant attraction has always let to a relationship. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

I have done the "Lets see if" method many times and I ended up hurting that person. For me instant attraction has always let to a relationship. 

Yes we all have different experiences and I appreciate your perspective!

[AuthenticSelf]

On 8/20/2024 at 10:26 PM, SC2005 said:

Not to make too big a deal out of this, but it was quite significant to hear this, I have never been complemented like that before by anyone (maybe family members), let alone a girl.

This is the science of why you like someone or someone like you. A genuine compliment 

What I can see is you don't like her in the beginning 

Then, this is major turning point. 

 

Now, it is about keeping this going. Is there any sign of her showing she still interested?

[Cherylyn]

How about just saying,  "Thank you." ?  It was her way of saying she intuitively trusts you and feels comfortable confiding in you.  Take it as a compliment because she senses you are not deceitful nor the type who would betray her. 

There are only a few select people in my life whom I trust so consider it a honor that a person thinks that highly of your integrity. 

If you're not that into her,  then everything hinges upon your behavior.  Pump the brakes on getting too personal with her if you're uncomfortable with her or if she's moving too fast. 

[SC2005]

14 hours ago, AuthenticSelf said:

This is the science of why you like someone or someone like you. A genuine compliment 

What I can see is you don't like her in the beginning 

Then, this is major turning point. 

 

Now, it is about keeping this going. Is there any sign of her showing she still interested?

You tell me: we still talk loads, she messages me a lot with stuff we’re both interested in, occasionally she even makes physical contact (sitting close, pushing my knee - but maybe she’s just a touchy person). I don’t think there’s enough info to say whether she’s interested. 

[SC2005]

14 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

How about just saying,  "Thank you." ?  It was her way of saying she intuitively trusts you and feels comfortable confiding in you.  Take it as a compliment because she senses you are not deceitful nor the type who would betray her. 

There are only a few select people in my life whom I trust so consider it a honor that a person thinks that highly of your integrity. 

If you're not that into her,  then everything hinges upon your behavior.  Pump the brakes on getting too personal with her if you're uncomfortable with her or if she's moving too fast. 

I think by this point I am into her tbf. I do indeed consider it an honour, which is why I found it pretty significant when she told me. But I don’t know what she thinks. 

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, SC2005 said:

I think by this point I am into her tbf. I do indeed consider it an honour, which is why I found it pretty significant when she told me. But I don’t know what she thinks. 

I’m glad you feel good about what she shared ! You can ask her what she thinks.  

[SC2005]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I’m glad you feel good about what she shared ! You can ask her what she thinks.  

About what? 
 

I was considering telling that the complement really meant a lot to me 

[Cherylyn]

4 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I think by this point I am into her tbf. I do indeed consider it an honour, which is why I found it pretty significant when she told me. But I don’t know what she thinks. 

A person's actions or non-actions is a reflection of what they think of you.  For example,  I say what I think or if I'm quietly impressed,  I'm silent and I trust a person based upon their track record. 

Normally,  people don't want to be with you if they think you're not a good person which stands to reason.  Naturally,  if you're a good person,  you are well liked,  admired and respected.  Hence,  certain people want to be with you or interact with you. 

 

[AuthenticSelf]

14 hours ago, SC2005 said:

she messages me a lot with stuff we’re both interested in, occasionally she even makes physical contact (sitting close, pushing my knee - but maybe she’s just a touchy person)

 

 

Did she do this with other guy too or it is just you?

If other guy got it, she is just friendly or maybe she is trying to flirt with everyone. I know quite a lot of dating coach suggested you to be flirty to everyone and eventually, someone will like you. 

 

If it is only you, ask her out quick before she lose interest. 

 

 

In my opinion, that is enough to show she is interested. 

However, it can be different from your view. From what you said you don’t think there’s enough info to say whether she’s interested, I want to ask you this. What is the missing from her for you to think that is enough info to say she's interested? 

[ShySoul]

14 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I think by this point I am into her tbf. I do indeed consider it an honour, which is why I found it pretty significant when she told me. But I don’t know what she thinks. 

People show you what they think. And she has shown she thinks you're a good guy she is comfortable with. Touching, asking if you have a girlfriend... at a minimum there is nothing negative here.

Do what you are comfortable with. Don't force anything if you aren't ready. But if you feel something, don't be afraid to take a chance. Show her how feel. Tell her how much her words mean to you. See if she wants to do something, just the two of you. Just have fun being together. Be in those moments with her. Then do what comes naturally. Say what you are feeling, without worrying over it. 

It may or may not work out. But I've found following the heart tends to be best in the long run. At worse you had a chance and tried. And you'll never know what good things might happen unless you take the chance.

[SC2005]

5 hours ago, AuthenticSelf said:

 

 

Did she do this with other guy too or it is just you?

If other guy got it, she is just friendly or maybe she is trying to flirt with everyone. I know quite a lot of dating coach suggested you to be flirty to everyone and eventually, someone will like you. 

 

If it is only you, ask her out quick before she lose interest. 

 

 

In my opinion, that is enough to show she is interested. 

However, it can be different from your view. From what you said you don’t think there’s enough info to say whether she’s interested, I want to ask you this. What is the missing from her for you to think that is enough info to say she's interested? 

Missing info is me asking her out and her saying yes or her asking me out,  I don’t think there’s much use trying to read people. 

[AuthenticSelf]

56 minutes ago, SC2005 said:

Missing info is me asking her out and her saying yes or her asking me out

OK! 

Her asking you out is not in your control. However, there can be something to work with here. Girl has the same fear of rejection like us guy. Most of the time, us guy may hide our interest and that confuses the girl just as much she confuses us. So, if I were her, how do I know if I ask you out and you saying yes? 

Also, let's see what you are able to control. 

What do you need to be sure you asking her out and her saying yes? 

Example: a hint from her, a statement from a friend she likes you, a suggestions from her to go somewhere, etc... 

 

 

[SC2005]

Just now, AuthenticSelf said:

OK! 

Her asking you out is not in your control. However, there can be something to work with here. Girl has the same fear of rejection like us guy. Most of the time, us guy may hide our interest and that confuses the girl just as much she confuses us. So, if I were her, how do I know if I ask you out and you saying yes? 

Also, let's see what you are able to control. 

What do you need to be sure you asking her out and her saying yes? 

Example: a hint from her, a statement from a friend she likes you, a suggestions from her to go somewhere, etc... 

 

 

I don’t really know man. I’m just gonna keep talking and see how it goes.