A girl complemented me like no one ever had and I don’t know what to make of it

[SC2005]

   I was talking deeply with a girl and she really opened up. Started telling me about really dark periods in her life, and mentioned multiple times that I’m the only person she’s ever told these things to. When explaining why, she said “you’re a very special person. You have this inner tranquility, this aura and spirituality, it makes you inviting [so I feel comfortable sharing things with you]. 

 

Not to make too big a deal out of this, but it was quite significant to hear this, I have never been complemented like that before by anyone (maybe family members), let alone a girl. Would a girl be so direct if she just appreciated a guy platonically or is this indicative that she’s probably interested in more? Or could be either? Or can you not tell at all? 

I’m not even sure I’m into her, but this episode made me think about it more, is that a bad thing? That you’re maybe more into a girl after you think she may be into you? 

What should I make of the whole thing? 

Note: the quote is translated from another language.  

Also: different girl from prev. post

[Batya33]

How long have you known her, how did you meet, how often have you met in person? Watch the feet much more than the lips -watch actions not words.  do you know her well enough to know that she shared these personal matters only with you as she says? In my experience a person who does that early on is not interested in a romantic relationship with the other person -it's meant to warn the other person to keep their distance because of all the baggage.  What has she done -actions -to move on from these "dark periods" and how long ago -did she say-this was

Many years ago a woman in my age range - 40s shared very personal stuff about her past and did her utmost to come across as a deep person (she also was a licensed therapist but we were just acquainted).  She was very high up in one of my Facebook groups for moms.  Hmmmm.  It was an interesting conversation and she made me feel "special."  turned out later it was because she was interested -in my wallet and in my "helping" her with situations in her life. Luckily I didn't get scammed. Nearly but no. Many others did and turns out she was an ex con.  Be careful if this is a person you don't know well already (I did meet this person in person a number of times as did many others).

[SC2005]

39 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

How long have you known her, how did you meet, how often have you met in person? Watch the feet much more than the lips -watch actions not words.  do you know her well enough to know that she shared these personal matters only with you as she says? In my experience a person who does that early on is not interested in a romantic relationship with the other person -it's meant to warn the other person to keep their distance because of all the baggage.  What has she done -actions -to move on from these "dark periods" and how long ago -did she say-this was

Many years ago a woman in my age range - 40s shared very personal stuff about her past and did her utmost to come across as a deep person (she also was a licensed therapist but we were just acquainted).  She was very high up in one of my Facebook groups for moms.  Hmmmm.  It was an interesting conversation and she made me feel "special."  turned out later it was because she was interested -in my wallet and in my "helping" her with situations in her life. Luckily I didn't get scammed. Nearly but no. Many others did and turns out she was an ex con.  Be careful if this is a person you don't know well already (I did meet this person in person a number of times as did many others).

I’ve known her not so well for 4 months 

Never had convos like this before tho 

 

She also asked me if I’ve ever had a girlfriend 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I’ve known her not so well for 4 months 

Never had convos like this before tho 

 

She also asked me if I’ve ever had a girlfriend 

How many times have you met in person. How did you meet? She can ask all she wants. Up to you to choose whether or how to respond. She may be curious. Has she ever asked you for money ?

[Kwothe28]

3 hours ago, SC2005 said:

Would a girl be so direct if she just appreciated a guy platonically or is this indicative that she’s probably interested in more? Or could be either? Or can you not tell at all? 

I am not into that aura and spirituality BS, but she did ask if you had a gf, so maybe there is something there. 

3 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I’m not even sure I’m into her, but this episode made me think about it more, is that a bad thing? That you’re maybe more into a girl after you think she may be into you? 

 

It depends. Sometimes you dont know if certain options are opened so you start thinking about them only when you find out that they are open. Its also possible that due to your lack of experience, you seem flattered by the fact that she maybe likes you. So its not her that makes it that you like her, but the fact that she is maybe interested in dating you makes this alluring to you.

What is she like? Do you like her appearance? Maybe her personality?

[SC2005]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

How many times have you met in person. How did you meet? She can ask all she wants. Up to you to choose whether or how to respond. She may be curious. Has she ever asked you for money ?

We’ve never met up outside our framework (the army — where we met). Never asked me for money. Does ask me for favours though, but always helps people herself. 
 

Thanks for the point about things opening up. Helps. 

[smackie9]

The only way to find out is to ask her out...it's as simple as that. 

[SC2005]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

I am not into that aura and spirituality BS, but she did ask if you had a gf, so maybe there is something there. 

It depends. Sometimes you dont know if certain options are opened so you start thinking about them only when you find out that they are open. Its also possible that due to your lack of experience, you seem flattered by the fact that she maybe likes you. So its not her that makes it that you like her, but the fact that she is maybe interested in dating you makes this alluring to you.

What is she like? Do you like her appearance? Maybe her personality?

Wym you’re not into that “aura BS”?

 

I really enjoy talking with her and she is an incredibly helping person 

[Kwothe28]

3 minutes ago, SC2005 said:

Wym you’re not into that “aura BS”?

 

Well. I am a man of science so I dont believe in "OMG you have so much good aura, our horoscopes match, here is the healing crystal that would protect you from evil" and whatever else spirituality today offers. I think its a nice compliment though.

6 minutes ago, SC2005 said:

I really enjoy talking with her and she is an incredibly helping person 

Yes, but that doesnt mean you like her to be your girlfriend. Your friends can be helping people and are somebody you most likely enjoy talking. Doesnt mean you should date them.

I am not against you exploring all this. Maybe really call her for a date and talk to her and see if you find her attractive. Just saying that you need to find out whether you like her for real or are you just flattered by her attention. 

[catfeeder]

Glad to hear you received a nice compliment. You certainly know her better than we do. I wouldn't make anything out of it at this time, but there's nothing wrong with spending more time with her and learning from her whether she's friend material or dating material.

[rainbowsandroses]

@SC2005 I am a spiritual person and imo what she meant by "aura" was to her, you project(ed) an open and relaxed attitude and "energy" that in turn caused her to feel relaxed and comfortable opening up to you.

What it basically means is you click, you "vibe" there is good chemistry and energy between you - all good and positive.

Why don't you take advantage of those positive feelings and ask her out? 

That's the only way you'll know if her words were sincere and not some "BS" as @Kwothe28alluded to.  Which IS a possibility.  I've seen it happen. 

That said, my advice take her words at face value, think positively and enjoy! 😍

 

[TeeDee]

It was a compliment.  Whether it was an invitation to something more than friendship cannot be determined from those words alone.  If you like her, ask her out.  The longer you sit around being "her friend" & not asking her on a date, the more likely that she will stop seeing you as potential BF material.  At 4 months, you have already dithered & hesitated for far too long. 

[Kwothe28]

21 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Thats the only way you'll know if her words were sincere and not some "BS" as @Kwothe28alluded to. 

 

I dont think her words are BS and not sincere. Just that "aura" thing is. I dont believe in stuff like that as well as in "OMG you have so much positive energy and we vibe" and other pseudo- science BS. I believe she and you believe in that and that is fine. Just that I dont. Sorry.

[rainbowsandroses]

26 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dont think her words are BS and not sincere. Just that "aura" thing is. I dont believe in stuff like that as well as in "OMG you have so much positive energy and we vibe" and other pseudo- science BS. I believe she and you believe in that and that is fine. Just that I dont. Sorry.

OK apologies I misunderstood.  My bad.  

With respect to bolded, I know you don't believe in that and "vibes" and all that, which is fine.

I once dated a "science person" (a doctor) and he didn't either, like you he thought it was complete BS!!  

As for me and my beliefs, I don't believe in "OMG our horoscopes match, you have so much positive energy and we vibe!! either.  That's pretty extreme imo. 

I do however believe we all project a certain energy, both positive and negative, and certain people can bring out either one.

It's the reason why we "click" (feel more comfortable and get on) with some people better than others. 

Even many science people believe that.  According to NASA, the Universe consists of "all of space, and all the matter and energy that space contains."

 

[SC2005]

13 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

OK apologies I misunderstood.  My bad.  

With respect to bolded, I know you don't believe in that and "vibes" and all that, which is fine.

I once dated a "science person" (a doctor) and he didn't either, like you he thought it was complete BS!!  

As for me and my beliefs, I don't believe in "OMG our horoscopes match, you have so much positive energy and we vibe!! either.  That's pretty extreme imo. 

I do however believe we all project a certain energy, both positive and negative, and certain people can bring out either one.

It's the reason why we "click" (feel more comfortable and get on) with some people better than others. 

Even many science people believe that.  According to NASA, the Universe consists of "all of space, and all the matter and energy that space contains."

 

She didn’t mean it in a BS superstitious way. I think she meant I seem at peace with myself and spiritually sound, which is something I do try and work . 

[SC2005]

1 hour ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Why don't you take advantage of those positive feelings and ask her out? 

 

Because I don’t really know if I like her romantically or not 

[Kwothe28]

10 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

I do however believe we all project a certain energy, both positive and negative, and certain people can bring out either one.

 

I have an acquitance who is an entertainer. Anyway, I do believe he as such brings "positive energy" you are talking about because he always tries to entertain people with guitar and all. Just dont believe it means that much in grand order of things. He is also not that good of a person. Took his now ex wife from his best friend at that time. Which in turn left him with the kid(she literally left a little kid to him) for another man. I mean we can also call it "charisma" and I am fine with that. But again, just dont think it means anything in a way you think it does. Politicians are charismatic. And 99,99999999% of them are not good people.

Anyway, back on topic

7 minutes ago, SC2005 said:

Because I don’t really know if I like her romantically or not 

That is why we implore you to maybe ask her out and find if there is something or not. A date serves for stuff like that. You dont always know if you like certain people or not before you maybe go out with them.

[SC2005]

7 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I have an acquitance who is an entertainer. Anyway, I do believe he as such brings "positive energy" you are talking about because he always tries to entertain people with guitar and all. Just dont believe it means that much in grand order of things. He is also not that good of a person. Took his now ex wife from his best friend at that time. Which in turn left him with the kid(she literally left a little kid to him) for another man. I mean we can also call it "charisma" and I am fine with that. But again, just dont think it means anything in a way you think it does. Politicians are charismatic. And 99,99999999% of them are not good people.

Anyway, back on topic

That is why we implore you to maybe ask her out and find if there is something or not. A date serves for stuff like that. You dont always know if you like certain people or not before you maybe go out with them.

Wait what, you can ask someone out if you’re not sure? 

[Kwothe28]

1 minute ago, SC2005 said:

Wait what, you can ask someone out if you’re not sure? 

Do you think every date requires both of you to be sure you like each other? People literally go on "blind dates" where you dont know each other at all. 

Just dont think you have something to lose there. You dont need to marry her just because you go out with her. Just see if there is something there or not.

[rainbowsandroses]

31 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Anyway, I do believe he as such brings "positive energy" you are talking about because he always tries to entertain people with guitar and all. Just dont believe it means that much in grand order of things. He is also not that good of a person.

^^100% agree and wasn't suggesting it did. 😄

To clarify I was only defining what she possibly meant by his "aura" in that moment.

Doesn't mean he will project that same "aura" with everyone or even with her again!  Or that it automatically means he's a good person.

Heck, I don't even know if she was being sincere!  It's quite possible she was simply trying to flatter him in that moment. 

Like you said, it doesn't mean much in the grand scheme.

That's why you should ask her out OP, but then again if you feel no interest or attraction to her, then don't bother.

JMO.

[SC2005]

14 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

^^100% agree and wasn't suggesting it did. 😄

To clarify I was only defining what she possibly meant by his "aura" in that moment.

Doesn't mean he will project that same "aura" with everyone or even with her again!  Or that it automatically means he's a good person.

Heck, I don't even know if she was being sincere!  It's quite possible she was simply trying to flatter him in that moment. 

Like you said, it doesn't mean much in the grand scheme.

That's why you should ask her out OP, but then again if you feel no interest or attraction to her, then don't bother.

JMO.

It did feel sincere. She had literally just opened up to me about a time she was depressed, and the proceeded to explain why she told me. 
 

 

[HeartGoesOn]

What was your response to her statement?                                                                                 

[SC2005]

14 minutes ago, HeartGoesOn said:

What was your response to her statement?                                                                                 

Thank you, you’re a special person too. And I also asked her what some of the words meant since we were speaking in my second language and I wasn’t fixed on how you say “aura”. She then translated it to aura (her English is good). 

[rainbowsandroses]

9 hours ago, SC2005 said:

I was talking deeply with a girl and she really opened up. Started telling me about really dark periods in her life, and mentioned multiple times that I’m the only person she’s ever told these things to.

@SC2005, re bolded, not proud to admit but I've told men (plural) this too.  I know other women who have as well.

It wasn't a manipulation, I DID feel comfortable with him and opening up to him.  

I liked him, I was enjoying the moment and considered it to be a bit of a flirt, a way to make HIM feel good and positive and special. 

I honestly never expected him to take the comment literally!  And I don't think they ever did. 

I'm not saying it's the same for her but do you honestly and truly believe you were the very first and only man in her entire life she has ever opened up too? 

How old is she?  Has she never had a boyfriend? 

Doesn't matter only that sometimes you gotta take such comments with a grain of salt. 

I still think if you have an interest you should ask her out. 

[SC2005]

2 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

@SC2005, re bolded, not proud to admit but I've told men (plural) this too.  I know other women who have as well.

It wasn't a manipulation, I DID feel comfortable with him and opening up to him.  

I liked him, I was enjoying the moment and considered it to be a bit of a flirt, a way to make HIM feel good and positive and special. 

I honestly never expected him to take the comment literally!  And I don't think they ever did. 

I'm not saying it's the same for her but do you honestly and truly believe you were the very first and only man in her entire life she has ever opened up too? 

How old is she?  Has she never had a boyfriend? 

Doesn't matter only that sometimes you gotta take such comments with a grain of salt. 

I still think if you have an interest you should ask her out. 

I do honestly feel that way. Neither of us have ever been in a relationship, we’re 19, basically kids. She said she tells me things she doesn’t even tell her female friends. 
 

It could be that she did it to make me feel good but I don’t think so. Why would you tell someone you were depressed in your life to make them feel good … bit of a weird method. But it is possible.