Butterbea Posted August 19 Share Posted August 19 I miss him not just him.physically. its been a long 8 yrs and so much has changed friendships dissolved. Distance kids grew up. But on days like today. When i cant even complain or have some one whe cares about not what i can do for them just to care is non exsistant. My kids are adults one married and enjoying it and my youngest is already mentally damaged from watching me go through deep depression and illness i know in my heart I have damaged them or they inherited my depression I have been in my room and Dang near the same spot for 24 hrs hoping for something to motivate me. I work, and that is a distraction but my depression won't even let me sleep, once I am alone all I want to do is cry and don't ask me "how are ya" hurts to think about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coily Posted August 19 Share Posted August 19 I'm sorry for your loss, you are managing a lot of difficult things. While you should seek out some professional therapy to help you manage your depression; it's also important to think of the joys that your late husband would want for you. Think on some of the dreams you two shared for when the kids were grown. What were the things you always wanted to do with him? Start finding ways to use those as motivation in your everyday life. It's very easy to say, but if you can find ways to live for his memory; to carry that part of him in your heart; maybe you can make some progress. Little things now. Sometimes it helps to tell others about how much he meant to you. What made you fall for him, that sort of thing. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterbea Posted August 19 Author Share Posted August 19 He just loved me. And made a safe zone now I'm just raw, weepy, and out in an emotional storm. I fake it so hard I have to prepare to interact with ppl. I contimplate admitting myself bur I'm afraid to be medicated 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coily Posted August 19 Share Posted August 19 8 minutes ago, Butterbea said: He just loved me. And made a safe zone now I'm just raw, weepy, and out in an emotional storm. I fake it so hard I have to prepare to interact with ppl. I contimplate admitting myself bur I'm afraid to be medicated Your husband sounds like a good and loving man. Have you sought out a therapist? One who will work with you and understand you prefer to not be medicated. It sounds like you need to talk with someone who will give you tools, not just quick solutions. It's okay to be raw and weepy, but would your husband want you to not live the best life you can? Talk to someone who has the background to help you. And please keep writing about him, it will help you cherish the best parts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuthenticSelf Posted August 19 Share Posted August 19 Just curious, how many ways are you able to continue enjoying your life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeDee Posted August 19 Share Posted August 19 Can you join a grief support group to spend time with people who understand what you are going through?  Depression is tough. You can't manage it alone. Get help.  1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted August 19 Share Posted August 19 I'm sorry for your loss. No matter how long it's been the pain can be constant presence, the lonliness a continual struggle. It's day by day, month by month, and year by year. Some days will feel unbearable, like you want to give up. But you've survived this long. And you've done it because you are stronger then that pain. You can continue on, and you will push through these times and into better ones. As hooky as it might sound, your husband isn't gone. He's right there with you. He's in all those happy memories you shared. He's in every item that you see and can bring back pleasant thoughts. His spirit lives on in your children, who I am sure love you and worry about you. He's in the future plans you two started and which he would certainly have wanted you to continue. Though his body might be gone, his soul lives on and is wanting nothing but the best for you. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be depressed at times. But you can't dwell on the negative and let yourself give up. He wouldn't have wanted that. He would have wanted you happy and thriving. He would want you to think about the good times instead of being lost in your sorrow. And he would want you to chase the things you've always dreamed about. Reach out to your children for love and support. They are there for you. Start small and do little things to cheer you up. And do all the things that would bring you joy. You deserve it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterbea Posted August 19 Author Share Posted August 19 Ty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strongliveshere91 Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 Hugs to you 🩷 I'm struggling with a very recent loss of my mother so I can kind of relate. Let the tears roll down your face , feel what you need to feel and then process it. Really sit with it , maybe start a grief journal or just come to this forum to document how you are feeling. While I'm a huge advocate for therapy I also would encourage some sort of support group as well. Just be kind to yourself 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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