Boss wannabe giving me hard time!

[Stephaniee]

Hello everyone
I would like advice regarding my current situation. I just started working in a new company last month. The department has 4 employees ( the boss, an accountant, 2 engineers including me). The other engineer keeps saying that he is the boss and that I should take permission for when I go for lunch and I shouldn't take long bathroom breaks although it's 10 minutes only and we don't have much work to begin with and I go to the bathroom like 3 or 4 times during 8 hours ). Due to my circumstances, for transportation I leave 15 min early. I have spoken with my boss, and I did tell the boss wannabe but he seemed to want to tell him everyday! Which doesn't make sense. i tell them before leaving “see you tmw” obviously implies that i am leaving now. The HR told me that she needs a signed paper from my boss, but he is on leave so i told her wait till he returns after a week she said speak to CEO, i need this paper or else i will deduct from your salary, i told to my boss by sms then went to CEO he was okay with it. For a week after, the boss wannabe was pouting and didnt give me anywork, i talked to him bbut he was like i am very busy, after the week he said i am upset you didnt inform me before giing to ceo if u need something u should tell me first, it makes me look bad that i dont know what if somoen asks me (although i had already told him taht she needs a paper he said  do u want me to ask boss for u i told him i will do it myself!) 
He strated threating me about evaluation form and dedyction in salary, then he was like i would be happy if thery deducted from your salary, u shouldnt listen to HR its anotehr departement
I told him that i didnt tansgress any rules and i did what HR told me, he said that boss and him are angry with me. I told him i will apoloise to boss(he is on vacationo) by message he said no u dont have to when he comes and talk to u then say that u didnt know the rules dont mention HR he implied that it would harm me
Then he said not beacause i am nice you treat me lke this, i can become worse
 i treat him very professionally and dont speak much to him anyways

How should i deal with him in your opinion?

[Kwothe28]

I mean, you do leave 15 minutes earlier, circumstances or not. So they have grounds of punishing you because of it.

I dont think your “wannabe Boss” is a good guy. But in a circumstances like that you put ego behind and say “I am sorry, I am new and didnt know the rules, it wont happen again”. If the people your job depends upon require you to stand on your head for 8 hours, you stand on your head for 8 hours. You dont defy them and skip them in the chain of command. I suggest you do exactly what they require you next time. You maybe arent required by rules. But your work life would be easier that way. Because, as you can see, some office rules are not just what HR and others tell you. Is it fair? Probably not. But you have to “play” by those rules if you dont want stuff like this happening. 

Also, accept deduction if you cant get paper from Boss now. Again, you do 15 minutes of job less. It doesnt matter if you dont have those 15 minutes of actual job, if it says that you are required to leave office at 5, you leave office at 5, not a minute earlier. If you are exempt from that, then you can leave earlier. But again, you are officially not exempt.

[Stephaniee]

7 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I mean, you do leave 15 minutes earlier, circumstances or not. So they have grounds of punishing you because of it.

I dont think your “wannabe Boss” is a good guy. But in a circumstances like that you put ego behind and say “I am sorry, I am new and didnt know the rules, it wont happen again”. If the people your job depends upon require you to stand on your head for 8 hours, you stand on your head for 8 hours. You dont defy them and skip them in the chain of command. I suggest you do exactly what they require you next time. You maybe arent required by rules. But your work life would be easier that way. Because, as you can see, some office rules are not just what HR and others tell you. Is it fair? Probably not. But you have to “play” by those rules if you dont want stuff like this happening. 

Also, accept deduction if you cant get paper from Boss now. Again, you do 15 minutes of job less. It doesnt matter if you dont have those 15 minutes of actual job, if it says that you are required to leave office at 5, you leave office at 5, not a minute earlier. If you are exempt from that, then you can leave earlier. But again, you are officially not exempt.

I did inform the boss and CEO they agreed to it

They did give me the paper, it was the wanna be boss who seemed angry about although I did tell him before as well !

[Kwothe28]

9 minutes ago, Stephaniee said:

They did give me the paper, it was the wanna be boss who seemed angry about although I did tell him before as well !

And again, unless you want to make your work life harder, some office rules require “Sorry, I didn't know, wont happen again” responses. Because as you can see, he is not above making your life harder because of it. 

[DarkCh0c0]

56 minutes ago, Stephaniee said:

he was like i am very busy, after the week he said i am upset you didnt inform me before giing to ceo if u need something u should tell me first,

He's a wannabe. He's not your boss. Stop treating him as such and feeding his ego. You don't need his approval nor validation. You don't even need to say "see you tomorrow".

You have an approval from the higher ups and that is all that matters. I don't care if he finds it fair or not, approves it or not. It's been approved and you got it. 💪 HE, can pound sand.

I would limit contact with this wannabe. Put some boundaries in place when he starts to meddle or when something is none of his business. And instead of labeling him "wannabe", label him "colleague" or "peer". He is equal to you atm. And if he throws tantrums, passive-aggressive behaviour and snarks when he doesn't get his away or some attention, then ignore him. Don't give him power and use the "grey rock" (ignore) method. God bless him, he acts like a kid and he needs therapy 🙃

[DarkCh0c0]

1 hour ago, Stephaniee said:

he was like i would be happy if thery deducted from your salary, u shouldnt listen to HR its anotehr departement

Excuse me?! Who is he to tell you that? This guy is even telling you not to follow company policy just because he is butt hurt.

It's none of his business.

[Batya33]

Consider whether you need Wannabee in your corner.  Does he know more than you on a technical or even practical level like where to get the best office supplies? Does he have an in with HR fair or not? I'd try to use email to document - if he does this again say "thanks for letting me know" then email him and follow up "thanks for letting me know about when I can leave.  I work ___hours as per my arrangement here.  It sounds like there is a miscommunication between us on that topic so I wanted to clarify.  Thanks again for the information. "Then if he responds keep a paper trail. or document in an email to yourself so there is a time stamp.

[Stephaniee]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Consider whether you need Wannabee in your corner.  Does he know more than you on a technical or even practical level like where to get the best office supplies? Does he have an in with HR fair or not? I'd try to use email to document - if he does this again say "thanks for letting me know" then email him and follow up "thanks for letting me know about when I can leave.  I work ___hours as per my arrangement here.  It sounds like there is a miscommunication between us on that topic so I wanted to clarify.  Thanks again for the information. "Then if he responds keep a paper trail. or document in an email to yourself so there is a time stamp.

Well from what I understood he hates HR, and that he started working 3 months before me in this department.

 

[Batya33]

38 minutes ago, Stephaniee said:

Well from what I understood he hates HR, and that he started working 3 months before me in this department.

 

He told you this? I’d avoid as a newbie doing anything that looks like gossip. I’d focus on my work and continue to respond with polite firmness and keep a paper trail. I’m sorry you’re in this situation. 

[catfeeder]

When I enter a new job, my goal is to get along with my teammates rather than pit myself as an adversary. So if someone has been in their role even a week ahead of me, they're my lead. And I tell them where I'm going when I step away from my desk so that they can speak for me intelligently if anyone asks for me.

It sounds as though you're intent on pitting yourself against this guy because maybe he's not the nicest guy, and you resent him. If you want to do that, it's not against the law, but as you've noticed, it creates unnecessary friction and will continue to make your work life hellish.

Your choice, your consequences.

[DarkCh0c0]

2 hours ago, catfeeder said:

When I enter a new job, my goal is to get along with my teammates rather than pit myself as an adversary. So if someone has been in their role even a week ahead of me, they're my lead. And I tell them where I'm going when I step away from my desk so that they can speak for me intelligently if anyone asks for me.

It sounds as though you're intent on pitting yourself against this guy because maybe he's not the nicest guy, and you resent him. If you want to do that, it's not against the law, but as you've noticed, it creates unnecessary friction and will continue to make your work life hellish.

Your choice, your consequences.

She doesn't need to pit herself against him, but she could place some good boundaries and nip this in the bud. All while being professional and minding her own business.

[catfeeder]

12 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

She doesn't need to pit herself against him, but she could place some good boundaries and nip this in the bud. All while being professional and minding her own business.

I don't see anything to nip. Coworkers on a team need to know my whereabouts in order to speak for me if I disappear. If I want to set them up to say, "Gee, I dunno..." when I step away, then I can certainly do that. But I can't expect them to appreciate sounding like a clueless dummy with no cohesion as a team and no intelligent answers about their own teammate.

The workplace is not a 'therapeutic environment' where people must cater to our private circumstances or psyche. If we don't like the results that our behavior elicits, then we can opt to change it, or not.

Our choices have consequences.

[TeeDee]

This co-worker is only senior to you by about 90 days.  Ignore him about everything that is not directly related to a project.   Do your work.   Follow what your bosses want & don't worry about the rest.