What do I do about something like this?

[Enya77]

I'm in my 20's and my own parents are "bullying" me like children would. 

I know this says more about them than it does me, but everytime I let it happen, I feel like I'm going to boil to the top with rage! I feel an injustice is being done to me and sometimes can't stand it! 

It seems everyone thinks they have the right to "bully" me this way because as I was coming back from a walk, I heard a woman shout out of her car that I was a "loser". That word gets used frequently on me.

 

My parents both laugh at me when I'm talking to them and mock me behind my back.

 

I don't know what it is about me that elicits these types of immature reactions from people. Same laughing thing happens to me wherever I go. I am different. My voice is different, but why can't people respect others? It's all I do.

I will say that I am awkward and bad at socializing and that this happened before I was even pulled out of school except now it's everyone. I'm not a man, I'm a woman which I don't see many other women like myself. 

People will often try to get reactions out of me by saying cruel things when I'm right in front of them. I'm honestly sick of not saying anything. I feel mad at everyone at this point in my life. I tend to make posts about this often, but it's because I have a problem with rumination. 

 

[ShySoul]

Just because you are stuck with someone biologically, doesn't make them parents. If they would say things about you, then they aren'y being supportive and caring as a parent should.

Are you on your own or living with them? Can you create distance or find a way to be on your own if you are not? Creating space and getting away from the negative is healthy. My friend moved across the country to get away from her nagging and critical mom. I was relieved when my family moved away so I didn't have to be near them.

[ShySoul]

If you tend to ruminate, maybe put that tendency towards something more positive? Instead of seeing all the negative out there and how it hurts you and angers you, try turning it to something you can do and control? Is there a cause you feel passionate about? Devote yourself to that. Volunteer. Help address other people's problems. Or just throw yourself into a habit, anything you like. More time doing something that makes you feel better means less time focusing on what bothers and hurts you.

And make as many posts as you want. This isn't something that gets handled overnight. It takes time and patience. There are good days and bad. But you'll survive.

I'll at least be here for you, even if you just need to vent. I get how you feel. It can be lonely and isolating. And it can make you want to scream at people. You're a good gal who doesn't deserve to feel this way. Don't lose yourself to the hurt or anger. Instead keep reminding yourself of the good in you. 

[Enya77]

30 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

Just because you are stuck with someone biologically, doesn't make them parents. If they would say things about you, then they aren'y being supportive and caring as a parent should.

Are you on your own or living with them? Can you create distance or find a way to be on your own if you are not? Creating space and getting away from the negative is healthy. My friend moved across the country to get away from her nagging and critical mom. I was relieved when my family moved away so I didn't have to be near them.

I definitely need to move away though, don't have the funds to. I really think I'm giving too much power to the opinions of other people. It should be out of sight, out of mind. I live in my own cabin that I bought with my own money so I don't understand why this gets to me so much. I used to live under their roof and hate having to hear everything they said about me. Now it's peace and quiet. But, somehow, I still allow them to have power over me and anger me even when not around. This has gone on since I was a teenager dealing with my sisters. Everything they did and said angered me even after it was hours or weeks later.

[Enya77]

27 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

If you tend to ruminate, maybe put that tendency towards something more positive? Instead of seeing all the negative out there and how it hurts you and angers you, try turning it to something you can do and control? Is there a cause you feel passionate about? Devote yourself to that. Volunteer. Help address other people's problems. Or just throw yourself into a habit, anything you like. More time doing something that makes you feel better means less time focusing on what bothers and hurts you.

And make as many posts as you want. This isn't something that gets handled overnight. It takes time and patience. There are good days and bad. But you'll survive.

I'll at least be here for you, even if you just need to vent. I get how you feel. It can be lonely and isolating. And it can make you want to scream at people. You're a good gal who doesn't deserve to feel this way. Don't lose yourself to the hurt or anger. Instead keep reminding yourself of the good in you. 

You're right. I should think about the good. It's not like I can change the minds of people around me. I should write more and get better at other things I want to. I never used to focus on this stuff that much or at all! Maybe I need to rewire something in my mind by focusing on other things.

[ShySoul]

2 minutes ago, Enya77 said:

I really think I'm giving too much power to the opinions of other people. It should be out of sight, out of mind.

Easier said then done. 😉

I wish a new the way to erase those thoughts. I'd pull out a Harry Potter wand, speak some Latin, and make it all better. But it's a struggle that can feel endless. Just when you think it's fine, it starts all over again. I struggle at times as well. 

Think you could also benefit from a postive voice in your life. Having someone or something that you can reliably turn to in order to feel better. You seem to respond well to a slight bit of encouragement. If you can get an outlet for your feelings, such as writing, it would probably do you a world of good.

Bet you could write some good stuff. 

[Enya77]

Just now, ShySoul said:

Easier said then done. 😉

I wish a new the way to erase those thoughts. I'd pull out a Harry Potter wand, speak some Latin, and make it all better. But it's a struggle that can feel endless. Just when you think it's fine, it starts all over again. I struggle at times as well. 

Think you could also benefit from a postive voice in your life. Having someone or something that you can reliably turn to in order to feel better. You seem to respond well to a slight bit of encouragement. If you can get an outlet for your feelings, such as writing, it would probably do you a world of good.

Bet you could write some good stuff. 

Thanks, Shysoul! I'm going to work on finding that voice.

[catfeeder]

On 8/17/2024 at 5:48 PM, Enya77 said:

I live in my own cabin that I bought with my own money so I don't understand why this gets to me so much.

Congrats! That's a big accomplishment. Try focusing on what it took for you to do that, and guide your mind into that kind of productivity. Head high!

[TeeDee]

I'm glad you live on your own.   Now you need to work on better boundaries.   

Get some therapy to work on your self esteem.  If that is not an option start reading self help books from the library.  Don't just read articles on the internet; you want somebody who has enough valuable insight that they got a book deal.  

My parents especially my mother were very critical, too.  When I learned to discount their opinions & believe in myself things got better.  

[AuthenticSelf]

What is the result you are looking to achieve?

[ShySoul]

@Enya77 Hope you're doing better and are finding that voice. 

Ignore the haters and criticisms and keep on being the awesome person you are.