AuthenticSelf Posted August 15 Share Posted August 15 4 hours ago, penpal999 said: Hmm I feel like that's a really good point. I have wondered why she never messaged me, and it's been over a week. It's a very confusing situation! OK! I want you to put yourself in her shoes right now, you like this guy. You told him "Hey I had a dream about you!" and he asked you what happened and you said " well we were hanging out and then we went bowling haha". You guy laughed it off. Then later you came up to him and said "by the way your tie looks really nice on you, I love that color scheme it looks great", he responded thanks and just laughed it off. From here, if you are the girl, how do you feel about the guy? If you want to date him, what would you do? Let's continue with the story, you are still interested in the guy. Later on, you immediately responds "Yeah! let me give you my number" to the guy when he invited you to something. He told you "hey well here's mine, and just shoot me a message if you can't come or change your mind". From here, if you are the girl, how do you feel about the guy? If you want to date him, what would you do? I believe you have the answer in you. Come on, you got this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 12 hours ago, penpal999 said: How should I approach this, though? Do I just see her there and joke around about forgetting to give her my number? I'll see her again but probably not for a few weeks so I hope she doesn't lose interest! Just ask. Everything you have been doing so far has worked. You haven't had to try anything or plan anything. You haven't had to chase, she hasn't had to chase. You've naturally met, naturally gotten along. So don't overthink it now. Just continue as you've been. You don't need to do anything new or different. She has responded well to the person you have naturally been. That is what is appealing. So however you have been with her, whatever you've been saying, keep it up. Only thing I would say is find a way to spend time one on one outside the job. It doesn't even have to be a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 Oh, and I have had dreams of coworkers and I clearly were not interested in them. I have been complimented on my outfit, and they were not into me. This may have been flirting. It may also just be a friendly person with an active imagination and dreamlife. Doesn't really matter though. You clearly like her. So take a chance on what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 10 minutes ago, ShySoul said: Oh, and I have had dreams of coworkers and I clearly were not interested in them. I have been complimented on my outfit, and they were not into me. This may have been flirting. It may also just be a friendly person with an active imagination and dreamlife. I was thinking that too. I had a dream of someone (mentioned him in my recent dream thread) and I'm certainly not interested in him. But I've also been on the receiving end, I am sure! I guess a good way to tell is if she's like that with everyone or just him specifically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowsandroses Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 Re the dream, I think the enthusiastic way she told you she had dreamed of you and what the dream was about suggests she was flirting with you. Combined with the compliment about the tie and her VERY enthusiastic... On 8/14/2024 at 4:03 PM, penpal999 said: "Yeah! let me give you my number". Suggests she was flirting with you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post penpal999 Posted August 16 Author Popular Post Share Posted August 16 Quick update! So I was just at work (we have many office locations, I'm in one across the city from her), and I just got a text from her "Hey it's Laura! :):)" with a funny meme. I just responded "hey it's great to hear from you! I can't wait to see you tonight for drinks!". She put her phone on silent and we both went back to work, but I'll take this as a good sign? That she's at least coming tonight, and didn't immediately discard my number lol. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 And I can't wait to hear your update tomorrow. Have fun and now it's your turn to compliment her. (perhaps hair or outfit, in a respectable way) Good luck! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 Whoosh! Good deal. 😃. Enjoy going out for drinks with her tonight!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuthenticSelf Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 7 hours ago, penpal999 said: Quick update! So I was just at work (we have many office locations, I'm in one across the city from her), and I just got a text from her "Hey it's Laura! :):)" with a funny meme. I just responded "hey it's great to hear from you! I can't wait to see you tonight for drinks!". She put her phone on silent and we both went back to work, but I'll take this as a good sign? That she's at least coming tonight, and didn't immediately discard my number lol. How are you going to continue after the drink? You need a plan now 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chess103 Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 dude sack up and get her number. it's clear as day she likes you. stop being passive and go for it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkCh0c0 Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 14 hours ago, penpal999 said: Quick update! So I was just at work (we have many office locations, I'm in one across the city from her), and I just got a text from her "Hey it's Laura! :):)" with a funny meme. I just responded "hey it's great to hear from you! I can't wait to see you tonight for drinks!". She put her phone on silent and we both went back to work, but I'll take this as a good sign? That she's at least coming tonight, and didn't immediately discard my number lol. Please tell us you made a move!! 😍 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 Hope you had a good time. See, she responded. You're doing fine and you aren't having to do a thing other then be you. So just be you. You don't need a plan, you don't need to make a move. Just do what comes naturally. It's got you this far. Keep going with what's worked. So stop worrying, stop looking for signs, and just enjoy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 Also, this was a group event, not one on one. And people send memes all the time to friends. It could still be a super friendly person who enjoys time with the one coworker she's worked closely with since she started. Just spend time with her and enjoy each others company. See if she focuses on you in the group. And in the end, do what you feel like doing. She may like you or not. What you do should be based on how you feel about her. She'll respond however she responds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penpal999 Posted August 17 Author Share Posted August 17 So the night went okay... Maybe my expectations were too high? I kind of wish I just listened to everyone's advice and just took this slowly and just let things happen naturally. We went out for dinner and even though I tried to get a seat close to her, we got seated kind of far apart so I didn't get a chance to really talk to her a whole lot during dinner. Near the end of dinner I did manage to snag a seat kind of close to her and we chatted and laughed but I never really managed to get her kind of 1-on-1 which I really wanted to. Near the end of dinner I suggested we go bowling, and when I initially messaged Laura I told her "hey we're going out for food and drinks and then probably go out after, so don't feel like you have to join us but you're totally welcome to and we'd love to have you join". Her response was "Hey, let's play it by ear! I have plans tomorrow morning but I could be convinced haha". When it came time to go bowling I asked her if she wanted to come with us and she said "ya absolutely!". So we went. Here's where things get kind of....not fun. Bowling was great. Her and I really meshed and joked around and even though we were in 2 separate groups, she would always find a way to come over to my side to talk to me and joke around. But maybe it was the alcohol and the really late night, but around 12:30 or so we finished and the rest of the group said "hey let's keep going!" and Laura was the only one who said "I think I'm going to go home...I'm tired". We went outside and some people were just saying bye and giving hugs and Laura called her Uber, and went home. I tried to walk her to her Uber, and she just kind of went "okay, thanks bye!" and got into the car and left. Maybe I'm over reacting, maybe I'm reading too much into things, but I felt like...she just wasn't into me at that point? I didn't expect her to lunge at me and tell me she loves me or anything, but it just felt like she was over the night and just wanted to go home. Maybe she was really tired, maybe she had to get up for her plans, but I just maybe wished things had gone better? I got home and left her a voice message (something we joked about) and just thanked her for coming and we all loved having her there and we're happy to have her as part of our team at work. I told her I'd love to spend time with her again and go for brunch or something slightly quieter. No response yet, but it's still quite early, but my gut feeling is telling me she's just over it. Anyway, I'll keep everyone posted. Thank you all for the advice and support! Please, any further input is still very much so appreciated. Thank you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 That sucks but you handled it well. Hopefully she will reach out and if she doesn't you tried. Lost 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 Give it a couple of days before you freak out! By all means keep chatting with her at work and you're both comfortable but the after work drinks, the bowling, then immediately wanting to meet again sounds like you're being a bit full-on. Just slow it down a bit and give her some space to breathe again. Chill and relax and get to know her naturally. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwothe28 Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 I think you did good. And I think except for that last part, there is nothing to be concerned. You left a nice message and now wait to see what she is responding. If she doesnt respond, then be concerned. But so far, you did quite well. Its important that you at least showed interest and try. The rest of it is now on the other side. Btw for a little laugh part, your not reading of signals reminded me on a funny video from years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penpal999 Posted August 17 Author Share Posted August 17 That videos hilarious lol! Thanks for the support guys. I have yet to hear from her but it's all good - I'll give her some space/time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 56 minutes ago, penpal999 said: That videos hilarious lol! Thanks for the support guys. I have yet to hear from her but it's all good - I'll give her some space/time. I think it went well - I didn't understand why you left the message-this was a group event not a date and she was leaving because she was tired and she spent tons of time with you all night so why call her or message at that time? It's fine just I wouldn't worry if she doesn't respond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 It's past midnight. Most people are at home in bed. She's just spent several hours socializing with a group of people she has only recently met. Maybe her social battery was just drained? Is she usually a night owl? Does she like going to events like this? Or was she making an exception? Stop thinking about. Stop worrying about it. Everything you've done has worked out fine. You are examining every little thing and driving yourself crazy over it. It's all going to work out for the best. No need to stress if you don't have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penpal999 Posted August 18 Author Share Posted August 18 Another update! Laura responded: Thanks for the message, it was a ride haha! Thanks so much for inviting me and I had so so much fun and thank you for all the kind words! Please don't feel any kind of way about anything seriously I wasn't touched by anything! Hopefully you're feeling somewhat alive today lol. I guess it's positive but also kind of closed ended? I did suggest we go for brunch but she kind of skirted around that. I don't really know how to respond to this lol. I want to see her again but I don't want to be pushy, but I also don't want this to fizzle out, but if it does then it does and I can't really control that. Any thoughts? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted August 18 Share Posted August 18 7 minutes ago, penpal999 said: Thanks for the message, it was a ride haha! Thanks so much for inviting me and I had so so much fun and thank you for all the kind words! Please don't feel any kind of way about anything seriously I wasn't touched by anything! Hopefully you're feeling somewhat alive today lol. Best guess at translation: Thanks for inviting me. I had ALOT of fun. You're very nice. Don't feel bad about not going with me to the Uber, I was fine. Hopefully you're in good shape because it was a wild time and I'm beat. Just give it time. See how the interaction is going forward. Write/call to say hi if you feel like it. Ask her again if you talk to her and feel up to it. You are fine pal. You don't need to question every little action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkCh0c0 Posted August 18 Share Posted August 18 Can you keep chatting and ask her out for a legit date? I don't think you're being clear with your intention personally. She could think you're friendzoning her. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted August 18 Share Posted August 18 4 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said: Can you keep chatting and ask her out for a legit date? I don't think you're being clear with your intention personally. She could think you're friendzoning her. I agree- to me -personally a close ended message which I've even received when trying to make new friends- yes that can be like dating sometimes! - is more like "thanks for reaching out, made it home in one piece - see you around the office at some point!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkCh0c0 Posted August 18 Share Posted August 18 2 hours ago, Batya33 said: I agree- to me -personally a close ended message which I've even received when trying to make new friends- yes that can be like dating sometimes! - is more like "thanks for reaching out, made it home in one piece - see you around the office at some point!" Yea. Ditto! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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