Men that look like your exes. Yay or nay?

[DarkCh0c0]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

went to an exes wedding and someone at my table remarked how much I looked like the bride

Wooow!!

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

she never really liked me lol

😆😅 I can see why haha

[DarkCh0c0]

3 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Well, if we are talking statistically, white man- black woman couples are lowest in percentages of divorces. Meaning they are least likely to divorce out of all pairings. Take it as you may. Maybe they want a long and prosperous marriage with you. 😂

Haha I sure hope so!

3 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

And I would like to have an intellectual conversation every now and then

I'm the same with men!

3 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Hence why most of my exes where similar to me in that sense. Generally well educated women who werent “wild types”. Just “good daddy girl” archetypes. 

Got it.

3 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Would you give a man a chance if he hasnt look like your ex? Meaning if the conversation was alluring with second guy but just looked different? Because it is weird to just write him off if based on similar looks if you two were having a nice conversation. 

If he looked different yet treated me the same, then maybe. I won't go into details, but what he does for work also is not a pro for me. I thought "no🙄, not that kind of work". I am judgy, yes.

[DarkCh0c0]

4 hours ago, catfeeder said:

It wouldn't bother me. There's no way that I'd allow an ex to deprive me of something potentially good that I could have with someone fabulous. That's giving away too much power to someone who isn't even important to me anymore.

Well that's one way to see. It's not the case for me because the way the guy's features were packaged were too similar. You could say he looked like my ex's younger brother. On his profile picture, I thought he was my ex! Just shorter. And I used to be indifferent to certain things, but now I know better with age & experience what I like and don't, so I'm cool with it. I've changed.

You never had a physical preference towards men?

[DarkCh0c0]

5 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

My type has been smart, creative men who are workhorses lol. So sexy to me. It's varied widely as far as physical looks. 

I haven't encountered repeats so I don't know but it's a fun topic lol. 

My SO on the other hand, all his exes I know of are somewhat similar to me as far as petite, sort of European looking with a bigger nose lol and strong minded. He definitely has a type. Doesn't bother me. 

Ahaha love the attitude! 😌

[catfeeder]

3 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

You never had a physical preference towards men?

Hi DC, I can appreciate your experience. Sure, I've had some preferences, which might be why I'd welcome someone who looked like an ex. But the stranger thing is that some of the men I've fallen for were not physically those I'd have chosen from a photo or a lineup. As I got to know them, I was wowed by the whole person--especially their ethics, intelligence and humor. But yes, I do understand that certain looks or mannerisms can evoke a bad feeling.

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

Wooow!!

😆😅 I can see why haha

Oh me too for sure.  He still had a little thing for me and tried to tell me that the night before his wedding -I pretended he wasn't going there and changed the topic.  We had long dinners after work which she didn't like.  Looking back I should have told him to go home after a normal amount of time -it was completely platonic but I'm sure it looked bad to her. (I was single or had a boyfriend at the time -I did see him right before I got married -briefly for dinner but that was fine)

 

[Cherylyn]

If you're referring to physically,  no,  each men whom I've dated all looked differently.  One thing in common with all men was their hard work.  However,  those were merely one time dinner dates.  None of them were particularly impressive and it was easy for me to say I didn't care to see them again after those first and only dinner dates.  Yawn.  🥱

Then my husband came along.  He put every man to shame in my book anyway.  He has a good heart,  intelligent,  emotionally intelligent (empathetic),  witty without being goofy,  makes me chuckle  😄, poised,  carries himself with aplomb,  self confident without being cocky,  on the fast track with his career,  kind,  admired,  respected by many,  clean language,  tall,  handsome,  blue-eyed, clean cut and I knew I wanted to be his wife.  He's a real gentleman.  (No tattoos,  long hair nor body piercings.)  After a whirlwind romance and brief courtship,  we married.  I was 22 and he was 23 years old.  It was the best decision I had ever made in my life. ❤️ I won the lottery. 

He was the needle in a haystack and reminiscent of my father-in-law (FIL) who treated my mother-in-law (MIL) like a queen,  always deferred to her,  loved and respected her.  Sure enough,  my husband followed his father's footsteps.  👣

I got it right compared to my mother who married a chain smoking wife beater,  womanizer and alcoholic who gave his wife and 3 children a hardscrabble hand-to-mouth existence always on the verge of losing our housing.  He never attained stable employment.  He mercifully died leaving my young widowed mother with a mortgage,  additional $450,000 debt and she never filed for bankruptcy.  She paid off her house and his debts all by herself while raising 3 children without help from anyone.  She toiled 3 jobs 7 days a week.  It was a train wreck household which I vowed never to repeat.  I made good on my promise.  🫢

 

 

[DarkCh0c0]

5 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Oh me too for sure.  He still had a little thing for me and tried to tell me that the night before his wedding -I pretended he wasn't going there and changed the topic.  

😬😬

Are they still together? That is so upsetting for the bride. Why did you guys break up? And did he get married too quickly afterwards?

5 hours ago, Batya33 said:

We had long dinners after work which she didn't like.  Looking back I should have told him to go home after a normal amount of time -it was completely platonic but I'm sure it looked bad to her

Ofc it did.

[ShySoul]

Wouldn't care in the slightest if they looked like someone else. Just because they look like someone else, doesn't mean they are like that person in any meaningful way. So why would I judge them on such a superficial subject? Would rather look at a person on individual merits and not compare them to anyone else, in any manner.

For that matter, don't care what they look like at all. I'm not interested in someone because of how they look. I'm attracted to a person's heart and soul, not the body. 

Guess you could say I would welcome a person to look like an ex on the inside. Since I would only be with caring, considerate, respectful people, I would hope anyone I was considering would be like that. Or just anyone at all.

Are you a good person? Do we love, respect, and understand each other? All that matters. Everything else is transitory.

[ShySoul]

3 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

He was the needle in a haystack and reminiscent of my father-in-law (FIL) who treated my mother-in-law (MIL) like a queen,  always deferred to her,  loved and respected her.  Sure enough,  my husband followed his father's footsteps. 

You're lucky to have found that Cherylyn. And he's even luckier. Hope it stays that good forever.

[Coily]

Thinking back, I think I do have a small pattern of consistency.  I seem to date women with dark hair, pretty noses and well a endowed bust; but there is very little they have in common personality wise or even in specific looks. I also find it interesting that my exes have usually pursued me, more than I them.

Now my horribly failed pursuits on the other hand seem to have a more definitive type: in terms of personality, looks, interests, and career path. Who knew there were that many single park rangers?

On a funny/strange note a friend of mine, his ex fiance dated and married a man who looked almost like a clone of my friend. It was kind of creepy.

 

[Batya33]

Hopefully not off topic but I know of  two couples -one dating a few years (she is divorced) and one maybe several months (she is divorced too but her child is only hers -had him post divorce).  What I love about the photos -all 4 are on the nerdy looking side, two of them are quite overweight -but each couple -they look so good together and their wide beaming smiles including their wrinkles (age ranges are late 40s/50s)) and messy hair, etc - it's heartwarming (one couple I know she thinks he's great and kind and lovely so it's not just photos -other couple I haven't been in touch with her but she looks so happy.    

[DarkCh0c0]

9 minutes ago, Coily said:

On a funny/strange note a friend of mine, his ex fiance dated and married a man who looked almost like a clone of my friend. It was kind of creepy

That's the case with the guy I've seen! He could be a clone/shorter twin brother of my ex to the point it's creepy. And to top it off, they are from different countries across the globe!

Damn. How come these clones exist?! 🤔 Do you think it was a conscious decision of the friend to marry someone like that?

 I will marry a better version of you, she said 😂

[DarkCh0c0]

10 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

If you're referring to physically,  no,  each men whom I've dated all looked differently.  One thing in common with all men was their hard work.  However,  those were merely one time dinner dates.  None of them were particularly impressive and it was easy for me to say I didn't care to see them again after those first and only dinner dates.  Yawn.  🥱

Then my husband came along.  He put every man to shame in my book anyway.  He has a good heart,  intelligent,  emotionally intelligent (empathetic),  witty without being goofy,  makes me chuckle  😄, poised,  carries himself with aplomb,  self confident without being cocky,  on the fast track with his career,  kind,  admired,  respected by many,  clean language,  tall,  handsome,  blue-eyed, clean cut and I knew I wanted to be his wife.  He's a real gentleman.  (No tattoos,  long hair nor body piercings.)  After a whirlwind romance and brief courtship,  we married.  I was 22 and he was 23 years old.  It was the best decision I had ever made in my life. ❤️ I won the lottery. 

He was the needle in a haystack and reminiscent of my father-in-law (FIL) who treated my mother-in-law (MIL) like a queen,  always deferred to her,  loved and respected her.  Sure enough,  my husband followed his father's footsteps.  👣

I got it right compared to my mother who married a chain smoking wife beater,  womanizer and alcoholic who gave his wife and 3 children a hardscrabble hand-to-mouth existence always on the verge of losing our housing.  He never attained stable employment.  He mercifully died leaving my young widowed mother with a mortgage,  additional $450,000 debt and she never filed for bankruptcy.  She paid off her house and his debts all by herself while raising 3 children without help from anyone.  She toiled 3 jobs 7 days a week.  It was a train wreck household which I vowed never to repeat.  I made good on my promise.  🫢

 

 

How did you two lucky love birds meet? 

Do you two look alike by any chance? 🤔

[Cherylyn]

5 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

How did you two lucky love birds meet? 

Do you two look alike by any chance? 🤔

No,  we don't look alike.  I'm brunette and he's of Nordic ancestry.  We met through mutual friends.

[Cherylyn]

11 hours ago, ShySoul said:

You're lucky to have found that Cherylyn. And he's even luckier. Hope it stays that good forever.

Thank you for your kind words,   @ShySoul brother!  ❤️

[DarkCh0c0]

1 hour ago, Cherylyn said:

No,  we don't look alike.  I'm brunette and he's of Nordic ancestry.  We met through mutual friends.

@Kwothe28 more input to your theory! Light and dark.

[Cherylyn]

On 8/2/2024 at 11:25 AM, DarkCh0c0 said:

More input to your theory! Light and dark.

I am fair.  I just happened to be brunette.  My husband has dark brown hair and blue eyes.  Our sons have hazel to green eyes and dark brown hair.  According to my mother-in-law (MIL),  my husband was blonde as a baby and young boy.  My sons had light caramel colored hair when they were little.  My husband and sons are good-looking.  They are handsome.  I lucked out there.  😊 😉

My previous one time dinner date duds included one blonde / blue eyed guy,  the other two men were brunette,  one with blue eyes,  the other with brown eyes.  They were dime-a-dozen and there was nothing special about them.  Their personalities were as exciting as a door nail.  😒  None of their characters were worth admiring. 

My husband does not look anything like those dinner dates though,  thank goodness. 

I tend to gravitate towards tall men only because it's genetic in my family.  My father,  brother and uncles are all tall men;  not freakishly tall but tall over 6'. 

[shouldhavelearned]

Give me a new one and I'll let you know

[DarkCh0c0]

5 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

My previous one time dinner date duds included one blonde / blue eyed guy,  the other two men were brunette,  one with blue eyes,  the other with brown eyes.  They were dime-a-dozen and there was nothing special about them.  Their personalities were as exciting as a door nail.  😒  None of their characters were worth admiring. 

How did you figure this out from date #one?

5 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

I am fair.  I just happened to be brunette.  My husband has dark brown hair and blue eyes.  Our sons have hazel to green eyes and dark brown hair.  According to my mother-in-law (MIL),  my husband was blonde as a baby and young boy.  My sons had light caramel colored hair when they were little.  My husband and sons are good-looking.  They are handsome.  I lucked out there

When they talk about genetic lottery! Damn.

[Batya33]

5 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

How did you figure this out from date #one?

When they talk about genetic lottery! Damn.

When I was pregnant I was desperate to win the genetic lottery as far as risks of diseases/birth defects.  I had to have multiple vials of blood drawn in my first trimester -no fun especially in the summer heat -to check -then wait for results. I had more blood drawn (declined an amnio because of the risks of miscarriage and I was 42) to check for other defects.  We won the lottery that way and our son is very handsome and short.  We are short and for those who focus on looks obviously this is seen as a negative.  (Back to your thread most of my serious relationships were with shorter than average men -my preference). 

 I also know of many gorgeous looking kids where the parents are not and vice versa.  But from my perspective the genetic lottery was all about what those blood draws revealed. So so awesome that all was well (which also meant my husband didn't have to be tested).  The waiting was awful (the first go around had nothing to do with my age).

 

[DarkCh0c0]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

When I was pregnant I was desperate to win the genetic lottery as far as risks of diseases/birth defects.  I had to have multiple vials of blood drawn in my first trimester -no fun especially in the summer heat -to check -then wait for results. I had more blood drawn (declined an amnio because of the risks of miscarriage and I was 42) to check for other defects.  We won the lottery that way and our son is very handsome and short.  We are short and for those who focus on looks obviously this is seen as a negative.  (Back to your thread most of my serious relationships were with shorter than average men -my preference). 

 I also know of many gorgeous looking kids where the parents are not and vice versa.  But from my perspective the genetic lottery was all about what those blood draws revealed. So so awesome that all was well (which also meant my husband didn't have to be tested).  The waiting was awful (the first go around had nothing to do with my age).

 

🩷 Amazing!

Genetic lottery can be found in so many ways! Whether it's just good health or blue eyes or fit body. So nice to know he's healthy and handsome.

[Batya33]

36 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

🩷 Amazing!

Genetic lottery can be found in so many ways! Whether it's just good health or blue eyes or fit body. So nice to know he's healthy and handsome.

Yes. We can agree to disagree. I just can’t think of good looks or blue eyes or any color eyes as being akin to winning a lottery. I definitely have genetics on my side from my mother’s side as far as avoiding weight gain as I age. Not on my side as far as genetically high cholesterol. Fit body is almost all my hard work. I don’t care if my son is handsome all else equal. Partly because of what I went through with all the scary genetic tests during pregnancy. Unfortunately I didn’t have some of it done prenatal which would have been smarter. 
When I chose who to date it never occurred to me to try to go for taller to increase genetic odds of taller in a child. I know of people who do. I’m cute and pretty and petite all else equal. I mean at my age. My husband is cute and handsome. I just can’t sign on to good looks being some sort of “win “. Totally defer to your opinion.  

[DarkCh0c0]

33 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Yes. We can agree to disagree. I just can’t think of good looks or blue eyes or any color eyes as being akin to winning a lottery. I definitely have genetics on my side from my mother’s side as far as avoiding weight gain as I age. Not on my side as far as genetically high cholesterol. Fit body is almost all my hard work. I don’t care if my son is handsome all else equal. Partly because of what I went through with all the scary genetic tests during pregnancy. Unfortunately I didn’t have some of it done prenatal which would have been smarter. 
When I chose who to date it never occurred to me to try to go for taller to increase genetic odds of taller in a child. I know of people who do. I’m cute and pretty and petite all else equal. I mean at my age. My husband is cute and handsome. I just can’t sign on to good looks being some sort of “win “. Totally defer to your opinion.  

But I don't disagree with you 🙈

And I don't aspire for my future children to win some lottery. I want them as safe and healthy as possible. That's all. Looks happen to be a plus sometimes and I didn't mean it too literally when I said lottery.

Genetic lottery or not, we're all the humans by the end of the day.

[Cherylyn]

9 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

How did you figure this out from date #one?

When they talk about genetic lottery! Damn.

It was a package deal if you're asking about date #one with husband.  He stood out from the crowd.  I observed how he treats others.  He's a very selfless man.  He's admired,  highly respected and well liked by many.  He's a generous tipper because he knows waiters and waitresses are low income earners,  tend to be single parents,  struggling students or downtrodden.  He does a lot of charitable good works in the community,  not too proud to cook and feed the homeless,  constructed orphanages in third world countries during his youth,  doesn't use foul language and a very decent human being.  He's on the fast track with his career and I knew he was "the one."  I've noticed a lot of ladies snatch up their catches very quickly so it's nothing new.  I knew I won the lottery with him.  He wouldn't have lasted long as an eligible bachelor.  

As for genetics,  it was being at the right place at the right time. 

I've observed a lot of men whether in the family tree,  relatives,  in-laws,  neighborhood,  colleagues,  spouses of so many people whom I know and I'd say most of them are not great.  They're either subpar or mediocre at best.  Some of them are downright horrible.  I knew a winner when I saw him and wasted no time.  He was spoken for early.  🤗 😉