rainbowsandroses Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 5 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said: I feel like the universe teases me with these connections. ^^Trust me, I know exactly how you feel!! I think the Universe is constantly "teasing" us as you refer to it and challenging us, it's all about learning, growing, evolving. I know you feel an attraction and maybe he does too, there is no way of knowing with any amount of certainly. You're just gonna have to live with a bit of uncertainty for now and try and relax about it. I would not message again, wait for him to reach out, in the meantime try and occupy yourself with doing other things. If he never reaches out, at least you know you're capable of feeling a connection and that is a good thing whether it works out with this particular guy or not. 😀 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovelyRoses Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 5 minutes ago, catfeeder said: It's not next week yet. It is , he sent that on Friday. So now it’s next week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovelyRoses Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 3 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said: ^^Trust me, I know exactly how you feel!! I think the Universe is constantly "teasing" us as you refer to it and challenging us, it's all about learning, growing, evolving. I know you feel an attraction and maybe he does too, there is no way of knowing with any amount of certainly. You're just gonna have to live with a bit of uncertainty for now and try and relax about it. I would not message again, wait for him to reach out, in the meantime try and occupy yourself with doing other things. If he never reaches out, at least you know you're capable of feeling a connection and that is a good thing whether it works out with this particular guy or not. 😀 I did send a follow up message but a simple one that flowed on well from what I replied and that was ‘did you have a day in mind.’ before we matched, I don’t think he’d been on or used the app for several weeks. Maybe some people really aren’t addicted to their phones but that’s hard to comprehend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 4 hours ago, LovelyRoses said: That’s the thing, normal people meet so many potential dates on the regular. I get out and about and never meet any guys however hard I try. That’s such bad luck if he met someone at his gig. You’d think he would at least log into the app to read my message though Why? If he met someone he may not wish to log in.Who are these normal people? Why does that make it "normal? I met so many because I moved to a city (10 miles from where I grew up) teeming with singles in my age range and many who were serious minded like me. Evaluate where you are getting out and about and be strategic and proactive. Dating is part luck and timing. There are no guarantees. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkCh0c0 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 2 hours ago, LovelyRoses said: I’m just feeling quite hopeful he’s just the aloof type 5 hours ago, LovelyRoses said: , I’ve finally found a quirky weirdo on a dating app who I know I will get along with You're making A LOT of assumptions about this guy when you don't know him as a person. Slow your roll. Plus, you don't know what he thinks of you too. Relax. Get busy. If he reaches out by Sunday/Monday, all is good. He could be very busy with the gig as he previously told you he'll be. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovelyRoses Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 14 minutes ago, Batya33 said: Why? If he met someone he may not wish to log in.Who are these normal people? Why does that make it "normal? I met so many because I moved to a city (10 miles from where I grew up) teeming with singles in my age range and many who were serious minded like me. Evaluate where you are getting out and about and be strategic and proactive. Dating is part luck and timing. There are no guarantees. Surely he didn’t meet someone in like the 2 hours gig ? Meaning he no longer logs into the app? He’s not deleted his profile or anything? That would be like crazy bad luck he messaged me just before his gig was starting letting me know he is free this week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 OP when I dated especially in my mid 20s-late 30s I was always extremely busy and unpredictably. I almost always dated men with the same crazy schedules. The men who wanted to meet me made the time. The only time there were delays were due to being out of town or emergencies. Also if you're this needy/desperate you will project that and show that on your first meets - it's not a good look. Yes slow your roll. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 2 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said: Surely he didn’t meet someone in like the 2 hours gig ? Meaning he no longer logs into the app? He’s not deleted his profile or anything? That would be like crazy bad luck he messaged me just before his gig was starting letting me know he is free this week He might have or he might have heard from someone he is interested in or he might be already involved with someone. Or simply changed his mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 3 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said: Surely he didn’t meet someone in like the 2 hours gig ? Meaning he no longer logs into the app? He’s not deleted his profile or anything? That would be like crazy bad luck he messaged me just before his gig was starting letting me know he is free this week But he didn't make a specific plan with you so assume there is no plan to meet until and unless he contacts you. Therefore he belongs completely off your radar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeDee Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 5 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said: Surely he didn’t meet someone in like the 2 hours gig ? Meaning he no longer logs into the app? He’s not deleted his profile or anything? He's a musician. It wouldn't surprise me if somebody fell into his bed that fast. You want a relationship. He wants a playmate. Again, when the tour ends & he's back without all the adoring fans, he will be back on the app. Do you really want that? I don't think you two are on the same page. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovelyRoses Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 3 minutes ago, Batya33 said: But he didn't make a specific plan with you so assume there is no plan to meet until and unless he contacts you. Therefore he belongs completely off your radar. Or can some men genuinely get so darn busy that work takes priority and they forget about the dating apps? I can’t imagine getting that busy ever but perhaps people do. His last message was him telling me how he’s so horrendously busy and just wishes he had a day where he didn’t have to do anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovelyRoses Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 1 minute ago, TeeDee said: He's a musician. It wouldn't surprise me if somebody fell into his bed that fast. You want a relationship. He wants a playmate. Again, when the tour ends & he's back without all the adoring fans, he will be back on the app. Do you really want that? I don't think you two are on the same page. He doesn’t do tours, he just plays gigs in random bars and pubs. He’s not like super attractive lookswise or anything, if he had success in dating I’m sure he wouldn’t be on the apps could he genuinely be like so crazily busy he just hasn’t thought about the dating apps? He told me on Friday he feels so stressed and busy and wish he had some time to just think about nothing. 6 hours later he texted me again to say he’d like to meet me this week then he never came back online Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeDee Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 Tours / gigs I'm using the words interchangeably All musicians are sexy when they are on stage. His definition of success might not be yours. I suspect his is I want somebody in my bed now. As long as there is a warm body there, he's good. He might not want that same warm body in the morning. Hence he's on the apps when he doesn't have the fans right in front of him. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 5 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said: Or can some men genuinely get so darn busy that work takes priority and they forget about the dating apps? I can’t imagine getting that busy ever but perhaps people do. His last message was him telling me how he’s so horrendously busy and just wishes he had a day where he didn’t have to do anything Asked already -right? No. In fact really busy people like me are typically even better at prioritizing and if they truly aren't available to date obviously they wouldn't lead someone to believe they are. Especially these days- I used to keep a paper list of allll the men I was in contact with- now everyone has a phone -has reminders on their phone -I use mine to remember to call someone back, someone's bday, to respond to someone's messsage on FB. Also he's in a competitive field so he knows that if he contacts someone who seems like a potentially good person to meet the last thing he wants to do is let some other dude meet her first. Right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovelyRoses Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 4 minutes ago, TeeDee said: Tours / gigs I'm using the words interchangeably All musicians are sexy when they are on stage. His definition of success might not be yours. I suspect his is I want somebody in my bed now. As long as there is a warm body there, he's good. He might not want that same warm body in the morning. Hence he's on the apps when he doesn't have the fans right in front of him. I don’t really get that vibe from him hes just replied back to me now actually apologising as he got busy but said ‘just want to let you know, I am still very keen to meet. How about Saturday?’ Perhaps he genuinely did get busy and didn’t check the apps 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwothe28 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 2 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said: He doesn’t do tours, he just plays gigs in random bars and pubs. He’s not like super attractive lookswise or anything, if he had success in dating I’m sure he wouldn’t be on the apps Dating apps work differently for men and differently for women. So I am sure he doesn’t get 100 matches as you are. But to say that a musician who plays at bars isn't popular is an understatement. He goes out and plays in bars so he meets lots of ladies lake that too. So you never know. I am not saying this to discourage you. Just to say how you never know that stuff. And that you basically dont know him to claim how he isnt popular on apps. Many guys use apps successfully to organize ONS. Because from all those 100 men you match, the ones who you choose are top. Tops do get quite a ladies because in order to be chosen from 100, you need to stand out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeDee Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 So now you have a Saturday date! Enjoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovelyRoses Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 1 minute ago, Batya33 said: Asked already -right? No. In fact really busy people like me are typically even better at prioritizing and if they truly aren't available to date obviously they wouldn't lead someone to believe they are. Especially these days- I used to keep a paper list of allll the men I was in contact with- now everyone has a phone -has reminders on their phone -I use mine to remember to call someone back, someone's bday, to respond to someone's messsage on FB. Also he's in a competitive field so he knows that if he contacts someone who seems like a potentially good person to meet the last thing he wants to do is let some other dude meet her first. Right? He’s just replied to me now and apologised that he got really overwhelmed with all his gigs and the hot weather here, but he would love to meet me on Saturday he said. Is this a good thing? Or shall I say no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 Just now, LovelyRoses said: I don’t really get that vibe from him hes just replied back to me now actually apologising as he got busy but said ‘just want to let you know, I am still very keen to meet. How about Saturday?’ Perhaps he genuinely did get busy and didn’t check the apps OK then meet him Saturday. Don't focus on "vibes" from a stranger -first step is meet him in person. Then see if you two should go on a real first date in the future. A mutual interest in going on a first real date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovelyRoses Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 1 minute ago, TeeDee said: So now you have a Saturday date! Enjoy The comments here have made me feel like he doesn’t like me so I’m going to cancel it. Who takes 5 days to open a message? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeDee Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 Just now, LovelyRoses said: He’s just replied to me now and apologised that he got really overwhelmed with all his gigs and the hot weather here, but he would love to meet me on Saturday he said. Is this a good thing? Or shall I say no Oh good grief! Of course it's a good thing. If you say no now you are playing silly games. The man was busy & he told you he was busy. When he became free he called. My negative view was based on the idea that he wouldn't call you for weeks. He called WHEN HE SAID HE WOULD. Why would you listen to my pessimism since you are the one who knows him? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 Just now, LovelyRoses said: The comments here have made me feel like he doesn’t like me so I’m going to cancel it. Who takes 5 days to open a message? People who are on dating apps and meeting lots of people plus they have a life. Maybe he met a lot of people from the apps recently and you are a person he's interested in meeting if the people he already met aren't for him for some reason. Totally normal and fair - I would meet him if I were you but I can't relate to how intense you are about a stranger you're messaging with on a dating app and never met. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 Just now, TeeDee said: Oh good grief! Of course it's a good thing. If you say no now you are playing silly games. The man was busy & he told you he was busy. When he became free he called. My negative view was based on the idea that he wouldn't call you for weeks. He called WHEN HE SAID HE WOULD. Why would you listen to my pessimism since you are the one who knows him? I agree- if he hadn't called at all despite saying he was free during the week that is different. OP I was on a first meet once where every 10 minutes he'd beam at me and say I'M GOING TO CALL YOU! (meaning to see me again). He called. Three weeks later with some lame-o apology. I never responded -of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coily Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 42 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said: The comments here have made me feel like he doesn’t like me so I’m going to cancel it. Who takes 5 days to open a message? Good grief. I didn't open a message from my GF for 4 days, my phone was off and she knew I wasn't going to get back to her. And i didn't respond to her for another day, that was early in out dating too. We're still together by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 1 hour ago, LovelyRoses said: The comments here have made me feel like he doesn’t like me so I’m going to cancel it. Who takes 5 days to open a message? Jesus Murphy. I actually think you should cancel, but because you are too insecure and too much in your head to date properly. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now