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Just cuddles


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This IS the Friendzone and YOU are his orbiter. Sucks does it not?

You need to break out of this toxic cycle where he gives you just enough attention to keep you placated and you get the tiniest sliver of attention.

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11 minutes ago, Dandelionspring said:

I would like a guy’s opinion please. 

From what I know at least 4 men answered you on the thread. That you dont like the answers is a different thing and has nothing to do with genders of people who gave you their opinion. 

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He doesn't have romantic feelings toward you.  You are mixing up physical touch with genuine affection.   He might see you as a "friend"; perhaps he feels sorry for you but nothing about this tells me he wants to date you.  

You are never going to find a healthy relationship as long as you cling to these crumbs.  

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1 hour ago, Dandelionspring said:

I would like a guy’s opinion please. 

Why not ask the actual guy himself? Maybe you already know you won't like the answer, so you'd rather poll strangers to get someone to feed you a load of B S.?

If you want to waste your own time lying to yourself, you can do that, it's not against the law. It's just not going to buy you anything but distractions from learning how to meet people who may turn out to be better for you.

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Sounds like your goal is to have boyfriend. On that once a month night you would normally ask to cuddle with him, instead make a plan to get out into the world to meet a man or men. Meetup.com groups geared to singles in your age group. Volunteer work where plenty of men volunteer as well. Joining a hobby that men also frequent. Going to a concert where people sometimes chat with one another, which also happens in restaurants near the concert where people eat before the event. Take dance lessons in Tango, East Coast or West Coast Swing, Salsa.

Takes a lot of effort to meet a good one. I know cause I had to do it, and I did all of the above and was ultimately successful. What you're doing now is a dead end, and when he finds his keeper, you will be barred from him home and any connection with him. Don't let it get to that point. Make your exit now and start pouring your energy into things that are more likely to have you achieving your goal.

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14 hours ago, Dandelionspring said:

So if a guy wants to just cuddle me and let me spend the night and cuddle me all night like once or twice a month. But never initiates sex. But is always willing to just cuddle me when I ask if I can come over and cuddle, like, does that mean he likes me?

It means he likes cuddling with you.  Speculating might mean he wants to keep it nonsexual so he can have sex with another woman and not worry about STDs.

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5 hours ago, Dandelionspring said:

I would like a guy’s opinion please. 

For what it's worth, I'm a 41 your old male.  Still stand by what I said.

Don't do anything if it's just going to hurt you more later on. If it's about clinging to a false sense of hope, it's not good for you. 

But if you both can find a way past that and just build a friendship together, then that's okay as well. There doesn't have to be any drama or anyone wanting anything from the other. It's completely possible to just have a friend who you each find comfort and support in and for that to include cuddling. Important thing is to work together and both be honest with your intentions.

Hope you can find comfort within yourself. It's rough when you really want to have that feeling of love, that sense of connection. Don't let it get you down. Keep the faith, better days will come. 

 

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8 hours ago, Andrina said:

Sounds like your goal is to have boyfriend.

She's mentioned somewhere (another thread I think) that she wants a husband.

OP, a once a month cuddle buddy is not going to magically transform to a marriage and a husband.  This dude is not interested in a relationship with you at all (sorry).  Time to come out of your fantasy land and live in the real world. Make an effort. Volunteer, meet people, join classes of things you enjoy/hobbies, walking groups etc etc. The list is endless.

Carrying on with what you are doing is not going to land you a husband.  You need to make changes within yourself.

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