Just cuddles

[Dandelionspring]

So if a guy wants to just cuddle me and let me spend the night and cuddle me all night like once or twice a month. But never initiates sex. But is always willing to just cuddle me when I ask if I can come over and cuddle, like, does that mean he likes me?

[Massari]

is he a shy guy? cuddle should usually lead to sex, but if he doesn't initiate and you would like to then why don't you initiate once? To answer your question yes he likes you otherwise he wouldn't be there, we guys are sometimes simple like that! There is no way I would ever want to cuddle with a girl that I DO NOT LIKE! this will never happen and I think for many guys is the same. 

[Dandelionspring]

17 minutes ago, Massari said:

is he a shy guy? cuddle should usually lead to sex, but if he doesn't initiate and you would like to then why don't you initiate once? To answer your question yes he likes you otherwise he wouldn't be there, we guys are sometimes simple like that! There is no way I would ever want to cuddle with a girl that I DO NOT LIKE! this will never happen and I think for many guys is the same. 

Really?   I’m not sure. Like we tried dating at first and had sex. But then we got in some fights early on and he kept telling me he didn’t wanna be my bf. So I gave up but begged to just cuddle. He agreed. Now I will text like once a month and ask if I can come over. We just cuddle and watch tv. Fall asleep and then I leave in the morning while he gets up for work.   So yeah. I don’t know. 

[Massari]

1 minute ago, Dandelionspring said:

Really?   I’m not sure. Like we tried dating at first and had sex. But then we got in some fights early on and he kept telling me he didn’t wanna be my bf. So I gave up but begged to just cuddle. He agreed. Now I will text like once a month and ask if I can come over. We just cuddle and watch tv. Fall asleep and then I leave in the morning while he gets up for work.   So yeah. I don’t know. 

So if you already had sex before in the past, this time you can have sex also! just intiate it with him, 

[yogacat]

11 minutes ago, Dandelionspring said:

But then we got in some fights early on and he kept telling me he didn’t wanna be my bf. So I gave up but begged to just cuddle.

What are you doing by begging someone that told you he doesn't want to date you, to cuddle with you? I think you need to reassess your actions here.

[Dandelionspring]

5 minutes ago, yogacat said:

What are you doing by begging someone that told you he doesn't want to date you, to cuddle with you? I think you need to reassess your actions here.

Yeah. I don’t beg now. I just ask. 

[Dandelionspring]

14 minutes ago, Massari said:

So if you already had sex before in the past, this time you can have sex also! just intiate it with him, 

I did.  And then I stopped. He doesn’t initiate and I’m happy just cuddling. 

[yogacat]

Just now, Dandelionspring said:

Yeah. I don’t beg now. I just ask. 

Why did the two of you stop dating? You mentioned arguments, perhaps he still has feelings but doesn't want to go down that road again. Bottom line, if he wanted you as more than a cuddle buddy, he would make it clear. But since he's explicitly stated he doesn't want a romantic relationship, why not stop pursuing him?

[ShySoul]

Cuddling doesn't have to mean sex. It doesn't have to mean anything romantic. It can simple be cuddling. I have cuddled with a woman who was just a friend. It didn't lead anywhere else. We simply felt safe and comforted by it. It was a sign that we mutually cared about one another and wanted to express it to the other.

Do you still want a relationship? Are you doing this because you hope for more at some point? Or are you doing just cause it feels good to be with a friend who cares about you?

[Dandelionspring]

4 minutes ago, yogacat said:

Why did the two of you stop dating? You mentioned arguments, perhaps he still has feelings but doesn't want to go down that road again. Bottom line, if he wanted you as more than a cuddle buddy, he would make it clear. But since he's explicitly stated he doesn't want a romantic relationship, why not stop pursuing him?

I don’t feel I’m pursuing. I simply text about once a month and ask if I can come over. That’s it. 

[Dandelionspring]

Just now, ShySoul said:

Cuddling doesn't have to mean sex. It doesn't have to mean anything romantic. It can simple be cuddling. I have cuddled with a woman who was just a friend. It didn't lead anywhere else. We simply felt safe and comforted by it. It was a sign that we mutually cared about one another and wanted to express it to the other.

Do you still want a relationship? Are you doing this because you hope for more at some point? Or are you doing just cause it feels good to be with a friend who cares about you?

I honestly like getting some affection from someone. I’m single. But I was just curious if he had feelings. 

[yogacat]

5 minutes ago, Dandelionspring said:

I honestly like getting some affection from someone. I’m single. But I was just curious if he had feelings. 

What makes you think he has feelings when he said that he doesn't want to be your boyfriend? It sounds like he's just fulfilling your request of cuddling. Sometimes people enjoy physical intimacy without wanting anything more.

If you enjoy cuddling with him, that's fine, and he doesn't seem to have any complaints (aside from not wanting a romantic relationship with you at this time).

[ShySoul]

If he doesn't try for sex and has said he doesn't want a relationship, odds are he isn't feeling anything romantic.

He may feel the same as you, just wanting to enjoy being close to someone. As long as you are both willing partners and don't feel pressured in any way, I think that's fine. Is he doing it just for you or does he like it himself? Have you asked him?

 

 

[Dandelionspring]

Just now, ShySoul said:

If he doesn't try for sex and has said he doesn't want a relationship, odds are he isn't feeling anything romantic.

He may feel the same as you, just wanting to enjoy being close to someone. As long as you are both willing partners and don't feel pressured in any way, I think that's fine. Is he doing it just for you or does he like it himself? Have you asked him?

 

 

Of course he must like it. I can’t imagine he’d be that nice. 

[yogacat]

Is this the same guy?

 

[Dandelionspring]

Yep

[ShySoul]

I'm guessing you've settled into a really close friendship after seeing that the relationship didn't work out. But if you are unsure about things, the best way to find out is from him. It doesn't hurt to talk to each other and make sure you are both ok with the arrangement and don't have any other expectations or mixed feelings.

 

[catfeeder]

15 minutes ago, Dandelionspring said:

I honestly like getting some affection from someone. I’m single. But I was just curious if he had feelings. 

How would we know? Why not ask him?

[Dandelionspring]

Because I wanted someone to say , yes he’s in love. Lol

[yogacat]

I've not heard of some people who used to have casual hookups later on just wanting to cuddle, but I guess there's a first for most things... I know you're hoping for more but he seems content with the status quo. 

[ShySoul]

5 minutes ago, Dandelionspring said:

Because I wanted someone to say , yes he’s in love. Lol

Yes he's in love. There, someone said it. Doesnt mean I mean it. Lol

Dont try to look for a fantasy. Don't think about him. What is it you want? If you are hoping for more with him, he's not going to give it to you. He never was. As I said in the other post, FWB rarely works out as someone always has stronger feeling. He doesn't have them. You can either continue to wish for it and continue to be lonely, or you can accept it and try to find happiness for yourself.

If you are ok with the cuddling and don't want more, its fine. But don't continue if its going to prolong you from not having feelings for him. You need to focus on making your own self happy.

[Dandelionspring]

30 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

Yes he's in love. There, someone said it. Doesnt mean I mean it. Lol

Dont try to look for a fantasy. Don't think about him. What is it you want? If you are hoping for more with him, he's not going to give it to you. He never was. As I said in the other post, FWB rarely works out as someone always has stronger feeling. He doesn't have them. You can either continue to wish for it and continue to be lonely, or you can accept it and try to find happiness for yourself.

If you are ok with the cuddling and don't want more, its fine. But don't continue if its going to prolong you from not having feelings for him. You need to focus on making your own self happy.

Facts

[shouldhavelearned]

Find someone else

Plenty of men out there 

[MissCanuck]

Girl, where is your dignity? 

Don't chase men like this and reduce yourself to this level. No, he doesn't have feelings. He just takes what you're offering, and that's it.

Please set higher standards for yourself. 

[Kwothe28]

Girl, just because he wants to play "pretend relationship" doesnt mean he has feelings. He literally told you he doesnt want a relationship with you and if he doesnt see you on weekends he even probably has somebody else. Stop trying to make him fall for you happen, its never going to happen.