advice

[Batya33]

22 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

^^So was I, I refer you to the last sentence of the post you quoted.

To clarify, this was early in and such relationships ended up becoming long term relationships.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes you and I are individuals and what we look for in an LTR likely is very different. We definitely are different in what we like to do and feel comfortable doing early on in dating so I suspect that holds true for later on as well.

For sure a man who asks a woman to hang out can keep asking her to hang out long term, ask her out on dates too, etc. - for me if it happened in early dating it wouldn't matter to me if he saw serious potential or intended to be in my life long term because I'd no longer see serious potential in a man who thought it was ok to lead with "let's hang out" if his intention was to date me -and particularly if he saw serious potential -then I'd know we weren't on the same wavelength. 

If at first he wasn't sure if we should date -like we were friends already and already hanging out then sure -ask me to hang out and we might realize hmmm we should date.  But an adult man wanting to give the impression that he saw me as a special person he'd love to get to know by dating asking me to "hang out" -I'd know that was not a great sign. Would I hang out? Maybe but not as a date, not on a date night, etc. - I didn't have time to waste when I was looking for marriage and  family on men who just wanted to "hang out." 

If later on things changed, fine but if he continued to treat me as a person available to hang out and he thought that would be a way of getting to know me in a romantic relationship context  I would know we had different perspectives on two adults dating and developing long term romantic relationships.  (Teenage boys used to ask me to hang out when we were in high school -totally cool!)

If an adult male asked me advice on how to ask a lady out on a date and he was serious minded I'd assume that with rare exception him calling her and asking her to hang out with him would not go over well - and why take the risk? Certainly if he was a guy who only wanted a woman who saw things as he did -that it was silly to use the word date, that really he just wanted to hang out and see what happened/go with the flow - then I'd tell him - that's great and I really have no experience with that type of approach to a long term relationship.  Because I don't.  There are people who hate the idea of dating/hate dating where it has any sort of structure/planning, date nights etc -and they should go out there and find their people.  I am sure they exist.