LadyA Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 @Batya33crush guy’s friend’s wife was there and in the photo, too. I honestly don’t think anyone made an inappropriate comment. It’s very likely that crush guy’s friend (who is also my friend) texted the photo to my bf. He wouldn’t text it to “tell on me”, but to say “hey buddy, look who’s with us”. There was no inappropriate behavior. Crush guy had told me he found me attractive 2 months earlier. Crush guy’s friend likely wouldn’t know that.. but who knows. I appreciate you trying to help. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeDee Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 @LadyA I will hold out some small hope that when your BF's family trip out of the country concludes & he returns home that he will find the maturity to talk to you. For now, I agree with your plan to stop chasing & leave the ball in his court. For him to gallivant about with his buddies but fly off the handle then sulk about your above-board behavior on a work trip is ridiculous. It smacks of a double standard. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 12 hours ago, LadyA said: Crush guy is married btw. I think his friend (also in the photo) sent it to him. Even more of a turn off for me. Tells me I’m attractive when he’s married. here was no inappropriate behavior. Crush guy had told me he found me attractive 2 months earlier. But now you're backpedaling a bit - so now it was a comment two months ago and it's seemingly ok? Maybe wife was getting weird vibes and told her husband to send it and he agreed. Who knows. Anwyay I hope it all works out for the best -sorry this is so stressful! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 5 hours ago, LadyA said: @Batya33crush guy’s friend’s wife was there and in the photo, too. I honestly don’t think anyone made an inappropriate comment. It’s very likely that crush guy’s friend (who is also my friend) texted the photo to my bf. He wouldn’t text it to “tell on me”, but to say “hey buddy, look who’s with us”. There was no inappropriate behavior. Crush guy had told me he found me attractive 2 months earlier. Crush guy’s friend likely wouldn’t know that.. but who knows. I appreciate you trying to help. Wait. The guy who has a crush on you and took care of you when you fell ill is married? Then the next night you're all out and take a group photo? I don't quite understand if you knew this guy has a crush on you and is married, why would you allow him to take care of you while you were in a vulnerable state? That may be why your boyfriend is upset and questioning you. I'm not trying to accuse you of purposely but this whole night just sounds messy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyA Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 @yogacat I’m sorry this story isn’t reading right. I felt sick, abruptly left, HE followed me. I didn’t ask anyone to come with me as I was about to vomit. These questions of “how could I let him” take care of me seem nutty, too. 🤦🏻♀️ He found the closest bathroom for me, got me water and stood next to me while I waited for an Uber to pick me up/take me back to the hotel alone. He manned up and did the right thing considering the circumstances. I had vomit all over my dress, hair, legs. It’s not like he came back to my hotel room, got me in the shower and tucked me into bed. Whether he has a crush or not, he helped someone (me, in this case) when they were violently ill and vomiting. He wasn’t getting creepy with me. Geesh already with this … 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LotusBlack Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 To be honest, I don’t think any of the details really matter at this point. Your boyfriend may legitimately have felt uncomfortable or concerned about the nature of your interactions with your colleague - regardless of whether or not they were appropriate (in my opinion, from your side, they were. The only inappropriate thing that has actually occurred in this whole debacle was your married colleague stating 2 months ago that you - a woman in a relationship - are attractive). Your boyfriend is well within his rights to take issue with the inappropriate comment your colleague made to you (if, indeed, he knew about it), and it is his prerogative to broach the topic of you being assisted by someone (the inappropriate colleague) whilst ill. All fine. Nothing wrong at this point. However, where things go off the rail is your boyfriend then behaving like a petulant pre-teen over a matter that is above-board from your end from start to finish. Telling you he will talk to you, then hanging up, refusing to engage with you - just as middle school kids do when they purposefully ignore someone they know is calling out to them. The details don’t even matter anymore, because he is carrying on deplorably and I would feel disgusted at the idea of having to deal with a child every time an issue comes up. Way too exhausting. There is zero respect for you in his behaviour and a relationship is nothing without respect. Forget him giving me a chance to explain myself, I would no longer want to explain myself as I’d be washing my hands of this child and saying good riddance. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 1 hour ago, LadyA said: @yogacat I’m sorry this story isn’t reading right. I felt sick, abruptly left, HE followed me. I didn’t ask anyone to come with me as I was about to vomit. These questions of “how could I let him” take care of me seem nutty, too. 🤦🏻♀️ He found the closest bathroom for me, got me water and stood next to me while I waited for an Uber to pick me up/take me back to the hotel alone. He manned up and did the right thing considering the circumstances. I had vomit all over my dress, hair, legs. It’s not like he came back to my hotel room, got me in the shower and tucked me into bed. Whether he has a crush or not, he helped someone (me, in this case) when they were violently ill and vomiting. He wasn’t getting creepy with me. Geesh already with this … Okay. Well, sounds like your boyfriend is done with you. He's distant and not responding promptly, and blocked you. I'm sorry. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowsandroses Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 On 7/21/2024 at 2:18 PM, LadyA said: The night prior to that photo, I was out with those same people and I had food poisoning and was vomiting like crazy. I was a mess… it was all over my dress, my legs and in my hair, I was incredibly ill. Are you sure it was food poisoning? The symptoms don't typically show up immediately, although sometimes they can depending on what you ate. Do you recall what you ate that got you so sick? Did anyone else get sick? I am surprised you weren't taken to the hospital, you could have E-Coli or salmonella poisoning which can be fatal if not treated. Anyway, what a bizarre story I hope you are okay and I am also sorry about your boyfriend. Take good care, it also might not hurt to see a doctor as a precautionary measure. Like I said food poisoning can be quite dangerous, even up to 1-3 weeks afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyA Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 @rainbowsandroses what’s the point of your question? I’m not pregnant and I wasn’t drinking alcohol. My lunch came up 9 hours after I ate it. It wasn’t immediately after I ate lunch. Stomach bug, food poisoning, heat exhaustion… whatever 🤷🏻♀️. I was sick and vomited a lot. Why would I automatically have to go the hospital for food poisoning? Are you a doctor? Why are you surprised? Again, what are you really asking here? Without knowing your true intentions, comments like these come off like a gaslight… fyi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowsandroses Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 12 minutes ago, LadyA said: My lunch came up 9 hours after I ate it. It wasn’t immediately after I ate lunch. Thanks for clarifying, you had not mentioned this in your original or subsequent posts. All you mentioned was food poisoning, no mention of where it came from or how long it took to hit you. No need to get so defensive, I was not accusing, just asking, geez. I didn't mean anything by it other than what I posted, there was no hidden meaning or gaslighting. That said, I am sorry you took offense to it. No I am not a doctor but I did know someone who nearly died from food poisoning. She thought she was OK, around a week later she became deathly sick from E-Coli poisoning. Anyway, nuff said from me good luck. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 23 minutes ago, LadyA said: what’s the point of your question? I’m not pregnant and I wasn’t drinking alcohol. My lunch came up 9 hours after I ate it. It wasn’t immediately after I ate lunch. Stomach bug, food poisoning, heat exhaustion… whatever 🤷🏻♀️. I was sick and vomited a lot. Why would I automatically have to go the hospital for food poisoning? Are you a doctor? Why are you surprised? Again, what are you really asking here? Without knowing your true intentions, comments like these come off like a gaslight… fyi. I've gotten food poisoning before and it usually comes on relatively quickly. Albeit, sometimes, depending on the type of infectious agent, it can sometimes take a few days after you've eaten a bad meal. I had such horrific stomach pain and did need to go to the hospital, but I was still fairly conscious of my surroundings. Then again, I don't recall having a fever.... In any event, I am sorry you and your boyfriend are on the outs. Maybe a better approach next time is not to let someone that has: 1. made inappropriate comments towards you in the past 2. has a crush on you 3. is married Take care of you one-on-one. I'm sure that wasn't your intention, but it's always good to be aware of potentially sticky situations. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 9 hours ago, LadyA said: Geesh already with this … Some posters will try to needle holes in almost every story they read here, OP. It's not just your post, I assure you. Ignore and take away what's helpfulf for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 7 hours ago, MissCanuck said: Some posters will try to needle holes in almost every story they read here, OP. It's not just your post, I assure you. Ignore and take away what's helpfulf for you. I wasn't - the OP made much of the crush, the inappropriate comments, then the story changed. I totally believe she got violently ill and it doesn't matter if the man who helped her had the crush - she needed help and whatever his motives he actually helped her. Sounds like he was the only one to step up in this awkward and scary situation. The holes were created by her as the story changed and I see potential pitfalls -not holes -in how she chooses to interact with coworkers given the photos etc and recognizing that one or two of her male coworkers behave inappropriately -it's a potentially bad situation not just if she is with a boyfriend but in general for a number of reasons. For sure she can ignore what is unhelpful. I don't think she should continue to date this man who has behaved so immaturely about this as it doesn't bode well for future situations. I'd have been ok if he'd simply told her directly - I'm done -this is a dealbreaker. I mean whether he was right or not at least he'd have treated things between them maturely enough. To be helpful to the OP I agree that this -unfortunately maybe is over and if it is not huge red flag from his behavior. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 6 hours ago, Batya33 said: I wasn't I wasn't referring to you, Batya. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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