mylolita Posted July 22 Share Posted July 22 8 hours ago, Batya33 said: I believe she did get him a watch -I guess- but she had no real $ of her own - new college grad and newly 22. That's so funny about the gifts! My husband got me vending machine snacks later that evening -I couldn't fly since it was my third trimester so we drove to a hotel -mostly still full from the wedding lunch etc and the next night we went out all fancy LOL. And I did have maternity lingerie for the wedding night!! GO BATYA GO!!!! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted July 22 Share Posted July 22 3 hours ago, ShySoul said: Yes, please seem like you actually want to be there and at least appreciate the effort that is being made. You don't have to be making future plans, see me as a potential life partner, or even want to spend a second date with me... just try to make this one at least somewhat enjoyable. Please? 😒 I'm with you and it doesn't seem like we are the only ones. https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/vyz79z/anyone_else_have_a_hard_time_eating_on_dates/ Doubt men will complain. About the only other thing they would want is the person wearing the lingerie. And cake. You can't forget the wedding cake. Maybe combine all three for a memorable, albeit messy, experience. 😉 This is interesting I am not alone! By our third date, we were going to this really nice country restaurant with open fires - and I still couldn’t really eat, even after all the hours we’d already spent together and three whole days by that point. I was too giddy, nervous, full of energy - I think I didn’t hardly finish the meal and I had to apologise. The waitress put it in a box for me and I ate it when I got back to my parents house in my childhood bedroom! The more I think about this, the better it maybe might be for the money who pays discussion and the ease of the date to go for coffee, a walk, drinks, or something else easy going? I also think going to the cinema is not a fantastic first date idea because you can hardly talk to them! Depends on the couple I guess! I think most men are trying to impress the woman and they imagine dinner is expected and sounds good? It’s nice you paid @yogacat - will you see him again like that or is this a friendship so you think? x 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 22 Author Share Posted July 22 6 hours ago, mylolita said: It’s nice you paid @yogacat - will you see him again like that or is this a friendship so you think? We've been on a couple friendly dates since. I like him but still very early days. 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 22 Author Share Posted July 22 On 7/21/2024 at 9:52 AM, Batya33 said: No he wanted me to pay because he loved "being pampered". As a guy I think he should have declined or said "at least let me leave the tip" Another time a guy wanted to take me to dinner for a first meet although I said I preferred drinks (I would have had no alcohol or maybe one glass of wine). He chose an expensive restaurant. Back then the bill was around $80. He accepted my offer to split (I offered because I found him boorish) and didn't offer to help get me a taxi let alone try to pay for it. And yes he wanted to see me again. Yes yes I offered but if he'd read the room he'd have seen - he chose a $$$ restaurant. He wanted to know specifically why I wouldn't see him again and was happy for the feedback and followed up months later to say it had worked. I don't even know if I should be dating at this juncture. Here me out. So as you know I am caregiving for my father that had a stroke and I moved him in with me because the place he was living was not adequate. He needed more around the clock care. I'm not sure how many men would be okay with this situation. That is not to say that I wouldn't possibly be open to a relationship. I just think it would have to be with someone who has a lot of patience, understanding, and is willing to support me in my role as a caregiver. So I am hesitant to even start dating right now because I don't know how to bring this up or how to find someone who will be okay with this situation. It's not fair to go into a relationship without being completely honest about my current situation and I also don't want to put my father in a position where he feels uncomfortable or like he is a burden. I've thought about (gasp) online dating, but I am not sure how to navigate that with everything going on. And even if I did find someone, how do I introduce them to my father and explain the situation without scaring them off? I meet many men in real life but with my caregiving, work, and school, it's a bit limited. But at the same time, I don't want to put my romantic life on hold indefinitely. It's a difficult balance to find. I also don't want to add any more stress to my life right now. Argh! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 3 minutes ago, yogacat said: I don't even know if I should be dating at this juncture. Here me out. So as you know I am caregiving for my father that had a stroke and I moved him in with me because the place he was living was not adequate. He needed more around the clock care. I'm not sure how many men would be okay with this situation. That is not to say that I wouldn't possibly be open to a relationship. I just think it would have to be with someone who has a lot of patience, understanding, and is willing to support me in my role as a caregiver. So I am hesitant to even start dating right now because I don't know how to bring this up or how to find someone who will be okay with this situation. It's not fair to go into a relationship without being completely honest about my current situation and I also don't want to put my father in a position where he feels uncomfortable or like he is a burden. I understand. Many of us are very busy with so much -careers/school/caregiving/all of the above. I would simply say that you are the main caregiver for your father (just like if you were a single mom) and it requires a lot of your time and unpredictable time and you do your best to make time for a social life. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 @mylolita I saw something the other day about how dinner dates are becoming less popular. Between the time commitment and raising costs, more people are opting for small coffee dates as first meetings and saving the meals for later. You might be old fashioned, but here you were ahead of the curve. And I was advising against movie dates 20 years ago. Unless you don't want to talk to your date, which begs the question why you are even there. Lol. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 3 hours ago, yogacat said: I don't even know if I should be dating at this juncture. Here me out. So as you know I am caregiving for my father that had a stroke and I moved him in with me because the place he was living was not adequate. He needed more around the clock care. I'm not sure how many men would be okay with this situation. That is not to say that I wouldn't possibly be open to a relationship. I just think it would have to be with someone who has a lot of patience, understanding, and is willing to support me in my role as a caregiver. So I am hesitant to even start dating right now because I don't know how to bring this up or how to find someone who will be okay with this situation. It's not fair to go into a relationship without being completely honest about my current situation and I also don't want to put my father in a position where he feels uncomfortable or like he is a burden. I've thought about (gasp) online dating, but I am not sure how to navigate that with everything going on. And even if I did find someone, how do I introduce them to my father and explain the situation without scaring them off? I meet many men in real life but with my caregiving, work, and school, it's a bit limited. But at the same time, I don't want to put my romantic life on hold indefinitely. It's a difficult balance to find. I also don't want to add any more stress to my life right now. Argh! I think you may be inflating the impact of such a thing on potential dates. It’s one thing to say, “I’ve moved my Dad in with me for the rest of his life…” versus “I’ve moved my Dad in with me to recover from a stroke until the end of September…” Even the person in the first scenario has every right and reason to pursue dating and a relationship if they so desire. Sure, they may have a smaller dating pool, but that’s hardly the end of the world. On the other hand, if you consider this to be too stressful a time to add dating to your mix, then that’s valid. But stay clear with yourself rather than project fantom dealbreakers onto men then imagine those as too big to overcome. As for your original question, I gently ask a date who is reviewing a check if I may contribute to it. This assumes that he has invited me to the date. If he declines my offer, I consider it my turn to reciprocate. Whether I will match the cost of his generosity isn’t a factor. It could be a meal at my place, a picnic on a beach or park, or whatever. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 4 hours ago, yogacat said: It's not fair to go into a relationship without being completely honest about my current situation and I also don't want to put my father in a position where he feels uncomfortable or like he is a burden. I've thought about (gasp) online dating, but I am not sure how to navigate that with everything going on. And even if I did find someone, how do I introduce them to my father and explain the situation without scaring them off? Would your father want you feeling like you couldn't look for a guy that would make you happy? Would he be okay knowing he was preventing you from doing so? I'm guessing he would want what is best for you and would be happy if his daughter had someone special. If you did meet someone, just be honest. A good guy will understand and could even offer to help. Yes, some guys might have an issue with it. But that would be an easy way to see which guys are keepers or which aren't worth it. And there are good guys out there who will be patient and understanding. My brother would help care for his wife's elderly parents... even after they divorced. If anyone deserves to find love, its you. If you want to pursue it, go for it. Do what will make you happy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 18 hours ago, yogacat said: We've been on a couple friendly dates since. I like him but still very early days. 🙂 That’s cool yoga! Every couple is different, every date is different, from what I have seen in others and how they talk about dating! (Almost nil experience on my part as you know so I can’t speak from that place of vast dating experience and history! Not a guru!) I just read your post below about your situation and having a lot going on. Only you know Yoga if it’s something that’s right for you at this moment in time. I will simply add, there is never a good or perfect time for anything, and life throws things at us when we think we already have too much on. At the moment you are very generously caring full time for your Dad but, the situation could change for the better or the worse, you never know. Sometimes in my life I have looked back on the parts I felt totally pressed, too busy and stressed, and then longed for those times again! Wished I had done what I wanted because in hindsight, I did have time, I just couldn’t see the open windows of opportunity because of my obligations and muddle. Because what I didn’t know is in a years time it was going to get more and more - LOL! So right now are the good ol’ days for you Yoga! And I would say what is happening now, shouldn’t hold you back from doing something you think is important. People say there are perfect times for having children, dating, getting married - there are none, ever! Never met anyone who had all the right conditions and had nothing going on in their lives. Personally Yoga, I think if he’s the right guy he would understand! And I also think if you have time to plan and do things with friends, you definitely have time at least to casually date and just see what’s out there! You might have to swap one out for the other sometimes. We think we can’t handle anymore or make room for anything else but, we actually often can, and we have more power and energy than we know! I would also maybe try and work some kind of rest days or days off between your family or hiring a helper? This could give you at least a day and night maybe for fun! Or relaxing! Doesn’t have to be dating. The right person will enhance your life, uplift and energise you - they shouldn’t stress you or add worries, so with that goal in mind, if it’s the right long term partner you want to find, they potentially are going to support and help you through these times, not judge or make demands from you. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 6 hours ago, catfeeder said: As for your original question, I gently ask a date who is reviewing a check if I may contribute to it. This assumes that he has invited me to the date. If he declines my offer, I consider it my turn to reciprocate. Whether I will match the cost of his generosity isn’t a factor. It could be a meal at my place, a picnic on a beach or park, or whatever. Back when I dated men who dated me kept declining so sometimes I'd buy them a CD they mentioned (old school!) or a book and/or bake them cookies. I'm no longer a fan of going out for dinner in general post covid. I loved restaurants/dinner for the 35 plus years prior to that. We met my friend's husband for dinner at a nice restaurant a few weeks ago. Not inexpensive (he was there on business). His meal had to be replaced because they got it wrong (on them -he was very specific as to the protein -salmon-as he can't consume shellfish) and my roasted veggies were -raw (brussel sprouts -no fun to eat raw). I said nothing just ate the rest, His meal took another 20-30 minutes to come, no offer to comp. I do go out for lunch once in awhile and find the same lower service post covid. I did some waitressing, I feel for them, I act low maintenance about it -but it's no fun. So if I were dating again I'd avoid restaurant meals in favor of walk and ice cream, museum, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowsandroses Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 On 7/21/2024 at 8:12 AM, yogacat said: Someone else says that you should ALWAYS insist that the man pays and accept graciously. ^^Insist on paying? How does that work? Serious question, it just sounds rude. A man invites you out, offers to pay or simply picks up the check and if you're attracted and romantically interested, graciously accept and be sure to thank him before parting ways for the night. If it's more a friendship vibe, split the bill. That's what I do and have always done and it's never been an issue.. Once in an relationship, we take turns paying or I make effort in other ways, for example, I may cook him dinner, purchase tickets for a ball game, stuff like that. The effort is reciprocal albeit in different ways. I have never and would never offer to pay for HIM on a first date. Regardless of my interest level especially if HE invited me out. I might pay for the dessert afterwards if we head somewhere else, I've done that. Assuming there's a mutual interest. If not, we split the bill and I head home. Later once in a relationship if it gets that far, then that's different and yes there have been times I've paid for both of us. Anyway, I'm really curious about this "insisting" a man always pay thing. I mean what would a woman say? I'm trying to imagine a scenario like that. On its face, it sounds heavy-handed, demanding, entitled and bytchy but I may be missing some context. 😆 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 21 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said: ^^Insist on paying? How does that work? Serious question, it just sounds rude. A man invites you out, offers to pay or simply picks up the check and if you're attracted and romantically interested, graciously accept and be sure to thank him before parting ways for the night. If it's more a friendship vibe, split the bill. That's what I do and have always done and it's never been an issue.. Once in an relationship, we take turns paying or make effort in other ways, for example, I may cook him dinner, purchase tickets for a ball game, stuff like that. The effort is reciprocal. I have never and would never offer to pay for HIM on a first date. Regardless of my interest level especially if HE invited me out. I might pay for the dessert afterwards if we head somewhere else, I've done that. Assuming there's a mutual interest. If not, we split the bill and I head home. Later once in a relationship if it gets that far, then that's different and yes I've paid for both of us. Anyway, I'm really curious about this "insisting" a man always pay thing. I mean what would a woman say? I'm trying to imagine a scenario like that. On its face, it sounds heavy-handed, demanding, entitled and bytchy. 😆 I didn't insist other than in extreme circumstances - like I wrote my husband on our first date tried to reimburse me for lunch -he left his wallet at our offices - and I "insisted" on not letting him. I've never insisted a man pay. I've never heavy handedly insisted I pay - I offer with sincerity. If declined I might say ok at least let me leave the tip. My husband will "argue" with his cousins over wanting to pay and they want to pay but you know it's good natured family stuff. I am a person who feels awkward around money. During pandemic there were two plays cancelled that I'd paid my friend in advance for -she had a subscription. For the first play she automatically sent me back my $ (she got a refund). For the second one we had the option of going at a later date -much later and I told her I didn't want to and she said she'd send the money back the next day or so. Nope. It was over $100. To me that is a lot of $. So -awkwardly - I did a PayPal request a few weeks later to her and she refunded me and half-apologized for not doing it earlier. But it was awkward. I was in one date situation where he insisted on going to an extremely expensive restaurant for dinner. I never could have afforded it. He asked me if he should get a bottle of wine and I said very clearly "I likely will have half a glass so please don't". He did, he got very buzzed. I didn't offer a dime because he made a lot of $ and I'd made it clear I didn't need to go there or have wine. I also was seeing this could be the last date -third date maybe. Then he wanted to go to a jazz club. Cover charge was about $25 each. I said "let me get this" and he said no and it was a real no. So I let him. What else should I have done -insisted again? I mean I don't think so. Maybe others disagree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwothe28 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 1 hour ago, rainbowsandroses said: ^^Insist on paying? How does that work? Serious question, it just sounds rude. I went on a little research and first thing it popped is some "TikTok dating expert" https://www.menshealth.com/uk/fitness/lifestyle/a36763172/dating-expert-says-men-should-never-let-a-woman-pay-for-the-first-date/ Quote she explained how, "Men should never let a woman pay for a first date because if you're asking a girl out and then going Dutch, it just shows you're cheap, you weren't raised right, you're not chivalrous and you're dating outside of your price range." Ouch. Sounds just entitled to me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowsandroses Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 1 minute ago, Kwothe28 said: I went on a little research and first thing it popped is some "TikTok dating expert" https://www.menshealth.com/uk/fitness/lifestyle/a36763172/dating-expert-says-men-should-never-let-a-woman-pay-for-the-first-date/ Sounds just entitled to me. ^^This is extreme and don't agree with it necessarily. It's just too nuanced to think of it as so black and white, imo. What I was referring to is a woman actually insisting he pay? @yogacatdo you mean she "expects" him to pay and if he doesn't he's out? I do know women who feel this way! Anyway, can you clarify, thanks! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 I think you can't go wrong with offering and with a genuine intention of paying for something. Doesn't have to be Dutch, but offering as you did to cover a snack after a date goes on long is simply good manners. It shows you are looking for reciprocity rather than just to be wined and dined. It sets a tone. From there, there is a lot of room for how reciprocity looks like. All you are really establishing is if this will be a one way street or give and take. My brother has shared with me some dates he went on where the woman simply cruised and it left him with a bad taste. And he is one who loves spoiling, but not to be taken for a ride. Part of showing someone you like them is showing them respect. There's people out there looking for transactional relationships. You obviously aren't. Men and women can weed them out rather easily by a) not leading with your wallet, especially men b) not taking it for granted that as a woman the man will pay for everything. That's it, not too complicated! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 When I dated if it was a date and not just a first meet and he asked yes I expected him to plan -or at least have ideas- and pay. A dealbreaker was acting stingy or cheap and not necessarily connected to paying or not. Like a bad tipper. Or complaining a lot about the prices. The guy who said we should go to his place for his swiss miss powdered hot chocolate mix instead of paying for the cafe hot cocoa (which was awesome -far superior to a mix!) - he also ordered nothing one night when we met for a quick sandwich -I ordered a sandwich and was totally prepared to pay my own way -made that impliedly clear but -surprise- when I offered him half my sandwich he gladly accepted and made no move to chip in or leave the tip. To me that's just rude no matter date or otherwise. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 5 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said: ^^Insist on paying? How does that work? Serious question, it just sounds rude. A man invites you out, offers to pay or simply picks up the check and if you're attracted and romantically interested, graciously accept and be sure to thank him before parting ways for the night. If it's more a friendship vibe, split the bill. 4 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said: Anyway, can you clarify, thanks! One sage acquaintance of mine (a male) stated that when a gentleman asks you out, it is traditional for him to cover the bill. My father may have a conservative view on the men I date, but when it came to his own dating game after his divorce, he was all about the "split the bill" strategy from time-to-time or keeping first dates casual because of his packed dating schedule. So I guess, when it comes to his daughter, he's a traditionalist at heart. Amusingly contradictory, isn't it? However, another male acquaintance aptly pointed out that if a lady takes on the expense, it is a true sign of affection. Other's suggest that if a woman offers to split or pay that she is not interested enough, so you the man should wave her off politely. The whole who pays talk, it has never really been an issue for myself either but I felt curious so I asked a few other men in my life including my brother just because I was curious at this point. There's also the viewpoint that a women should at least offer to pay because making those gestures show that you're interested in them as a person and not looking for any other reason. I can see this being a form of communication in that context. Now, I've always offered to pitch in when the check came whether or I am interested in a second date or not. There has not been one time that I can recall, that the man accepted my offer to pay towards the bill. But for me, paying has little to do with whether or not I am interested but more so because I think paying from time to time, even if it's a first date, treating someone just because makes me feel good to be able to do that for someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 I wanted to add one more thing -I dated a guy many years ago who made a great salary and he told me often he chose fancy restaurants he wanted to try and was fine paying because he didn't want to go alone or with friends -he wanted to take a date. I believe it came up because he'd suggested a restaurant and I commented it was pricey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 11 hours ago, ShySoul said: Would your father want you feeling like you couldn't look for a guy that would make you happy? Would he be okay knowing he was preventing you from doing so? I'm guessing he would want what is best for you and would be happy if his daughter had someone special. If you did meet someone, just be honest. A good guy will understand and could even offer to help. Yes, some guys might have an issue with it. But that would be an easy way to see which guys are keepers or which aren't worth it. And there are good guys out there who will be patient and understanding. My brother would help care for his wife's elderly parents... even after they divorced. If anyone deserves to find love, its you. If you want to pursue it, go for it. Do what will make you happy. That's so kind of you. Thank you. 🙏 And, it really made me feel better about everything. You're right, my dad would want me to be happy and wouldn't want me to feel held back by anything. That's true love ❤️, wanting the best for someone even if it means letting them go or supporting them in something they want to do. Thank you for reminding me of that!!! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 8 hours ago, mylolita said: I will simply add, there is never a good or perfect time for anything, and life throws things at us when we think we already have too much on. At the moment you are very generously caring full time for your Dad but, the situation could change for the better or the worse, you never know. Sometimes in my life I have looked back on the parts I felt totally pressed, too busy and stressed, and then longed for those times again! Wished I had done what I wanted because in hindsight, I did have time, I just couldn’t see the open windows of opportunity because of my obligations and muddle. Because what I didn’t know is in a years time it was going to get more and more - LOL! Hey Miss Red! I think you have 100% nailed it there. Life is just too complicated, because there are always other HUGE obligations and responsibilities hanging around that rarely give anyone in the household a break, particularly to the ones that always do "the most" for the family. For me, whenever I do something, I sometimes feel that everything has to be 110% perfect, or else I think it is not worth bothering with. It's like, if 110% is not achievable, then there is no point doing it. But really it just a subconscious destructive mindset, and it is not how to live a fulfilling life at all. I desperately need to get out of that habit. I'm not sure where that comes from for me (personally), but I do think when you have a mind that is creative, like mine, then you get ideas that spiral up in your mind and tell you that you have to be perfect, when it is often just your brain going into overdrive and your life plays out fantastically well with even 85% of what you had thought up. So, I'm going to make another connection there, suggest that creative people need to be very kind to themselves, while mapping out ideas, and enjoy the journey of it, rather than have a nasty little voice going up in your head telling you you aren't good enough until you get finished.😄 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowsandroses Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 13 minutes ago, yogacat said: My father may have a conservative view on the men I date, but when it came to his own dating game after his divorce, he was all about the "split the bill" strategy from time-to-time or keeping first dates casual because of his packed dating schedule. So I guess, when it comes to his daughter, he's a traditionalist at heart. Amusingly contradictory, isn't it? ^^My father's advice was "when a man invites you out, it should be his pleasure to pay." He was quite traditional and it was/is about a man being a good provider. Very old school I suppose but it stuck with me. However I am very flexible and it's not black and white. For example there are times when, even early in, we might discuss having a date and planning it together. Versus him specifically asking me out on a "proper date." I am totally cool with that, in fact I enjoy that type of dynamic. In which case, I might suggest paying for the both of us. He usually declined but appreciated my offering! My previous post, I was speaking more about first dates. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowsandroses Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 1 hour ago, yogacat said: There's also the viewpoint that a women should at least offer to pay because making those gestures show that you're interested in them as a person and not looking for any other reason. ^^I've heard the viewpoint that when a man invites a woman out and she insists on paying her way or even his way, she is conveying the message "I'm a strong and independent woman! I don't "need" a man paying for me, I can pay for myself and him too"! I don't agree that's always true and it's certainly not my style, but I have heard men express this viewpoint and it's a turn-off for them. Honestly I think people overthink this sometines and attach meaning to it that doesn't always apply and isn't always true. It's about perception I suppose and how and what we were raised to believe about male/female dynamics/interactions our respective roles. My view is - when a man invites me out, and he wants to pay, I let him pay! Why wouldn't I? He invited me out. Going back to what my dad said - when a man invites you out, it should be his pleasure to plan and pay. And I graciously receive and thank him! And reciprocate in other ways. If the woman invites him out, she can pay although typically the man will still wish to pay. Honestly I've never once heard a man say a woman paying for him means she is into him. If anything, I have heard the opposite, they assume she is not into him because she does not want to feel obligated or mislead him. Or he may think she's a cool chick who believes in equal participation. It's subjective there is no way to predict how a man will react. So just do what you feel comfortable doing, don't worry about his reaction. JMO 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 1 hour ago, yogacat said: So, I'm going to make another connection there, suggest that creative people need to be very kind to themselves, while mapping out ideas, and enjoy the journey of it, rather than have a nasty little voice going up in your head telling you you aren't good enough until you get finished. Problem with the perfectionist mindset is that it never ends up being good enough so you end up tearing it down and starting over to the point that you may not even finish. It's the journey, not the destination. Be in the moment and enjoy the ride, all the ups and downs. Nothing is ever 100% perfect and you'll only lose out on a lot of great experiences if you're too focused on what isn't there instead of what is. As long as it is mostly good, then good enough can be just fine. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowsandroses Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 25 minutes ago, ShySoul said: Problem with the perfectionist mindset is that it never ends up being good enough so you end up tearing it down and starting over to the point that you may not even finish. It's the journey, not the destination. Be in the moment and enjoy the ride, all the ups and downs. Nothing is ever 100% perfect and you'll only lose out on a lot of great experiences if you're too focused on what isn't there instead of what is. As long as it is mostly good, then good enough can be just fine. Well said SS! You speakin my language!😃 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 1 minute ago, rainbowsandroses said: Well said SS!😃 Only took decades, many unfinished projects, and a lot of trying to be perfect to figure that out. Just trying to save everyone else the time. 😉 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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