ShySoul Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 55 minutes ago, Danna225 said: I agree. Why do you think he did that ? Asking me if I wanted to go to lunch, just to be silent when the day comes. ? There is a good chance yogacat is right and it is all a mind game. If he does have an ego as you said, it make sense that he would try to pull you in to make himself feel better only to push you away again. For a different perspective, I once had someone stand me up. It wasn't that she was focused on her ego or trying to control me. It was about her insecurity and trying to cause a problem so that we didn't get too close. Her behavior was caused more by her fears and unhappiness with herself. Whatever the reason, it's no justification for the action. It is an immature game that won't help either of you. If you really want nothing to do with him, then keep him blocked. Don't worry if he is checking up on you. Try not to think of him at all. In checking you allowed yourself to get sucked back into this. Do yourself and favor and get him out of your life. You'll thank yourself later. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 1 hour ago, Danna225 said: No I blocked him because I wanted nothing to do with him and still don’t. No I don’t want him to contact me at all. I unblocked him for a split second to see if he maybe blocked me back… and I was right. Oh be truthful to yourself . You do or you wouldn’t care if he blocked you never mind ask why. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LotusBlack Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 2 hours ago, Danna225 said: I agree. Why do you think he did that ? Asking me if I wanted to go to lunch, just to be silent when the day comes. ? I’m confused - you said he left you on message ‘delivered’ but never read your response agreeing to go out. So, how is it that the day arrived and you heard nothing from him? Did he know the date day had apparently arrived if he hadn’t read your message? Also, if I can see my message remained unread, I’d view that as a clear indicator the date had not been confirmed and would treat it as no longer a plan. As for this ridiculous blocking business - blocking is a tool to protect one from unwanted communication and/or to help one manage their own emotions while they process the ending of a relationship. It’s not a manipulation tactic. You clearly used it to send a message - to communicate - to him that you’re upset and he needs to redeem himself. Otherwise, you’d not even feel curious to know if he’d noticed. I blocked my sister weeks ago because she is a toxic, terrible human being and not once have I felt even the tiniest amount of curiosity to see if she’s noticed. Why? Because I used it as a tool to prevent unwanted communication from someone who is psychologically and emotionally dangerous to me. You’re in your mid-20s (or they’re enough about), so consider things more maturely. You’re both behaving as childishly as each other. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 5 hours ago, Danna225 said: I’m confused how any of this is my fault ??? Or how I’m the one that’s playing games ??? You blocked him first …. doesn’t matter why. He blocked you second …. doesn’t matter why. You did exactly the same as what he did. Why do you think you’re NOT playing games? 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 4 hours ago, Danna225 said: I didn’t think people did that ?? What’s the point Do what exactly? React? That is what you did. You reacted by blocking him because he didn’t respond to you. He reacted by blocking you back. T!t for tat. Thats not unusual. It’s the oldest game in the book. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 2 hours ago, Danna225 said: No I blocked him because I wanted nothing to do with him and still don’t. No I don’t want him to contact me at all. I unblocked him for a split second to see if he maybe blocked me back… and I was right. No-one is buying that. If you didn’t want anything to do with him you wouldn’t have been curious enough to unblock him and you wouldn’t be here asking questions about his actions. You would be totally indifferent. Look, you are not breaking any laws by blocking and unblocking him or for still having feelings for him …. but we have to call it as we see it …. and you are not being honest with yourself. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 4 hours ago, Danna225 said: No I blocked him because I wanted nothing to do with him and still don’t. No I don’t want him to contact me at all. I unblocked him for a split second to see if he maybe blocked me back… and I was right. ^ If that's the case then what is all this about? You don't want him back and want nothing to do with him at all, so why all these questions about something that's all done and dusted? Very confusing ...🤔 Just move on already and learn from this and how to treat people better etc etc. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shouldhavelearned Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 Is this a click bait story or what? Get real 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 2 hours ago, shouldhavelearned said: s this a click bait story or what? This person posts variations of these stories under different usernames. They're all the same drivel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaunty Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 13 hours ago, Danna225 said: I didn’t think people did that ?? What’s the point If it bothers you, you either need to talk to him about it or choose not to interact with him or other people who act this way. Though it seems to me that you enjoy this pre-teen type of drama and keep stirring some up whenever you get bored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaunty Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 9 hours ago, Tanzi said: Do what exactly? React? That is what you did. You reacted by blocking him because he didn’t respond to you. He reacted by blocking you back. T!t for tat. Thats not unusual. It’s the oldest game in the book. True. And it's often accompanied by something like "neener neener neener" and an "up your nose with a rubber hose" gesture. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 I think you're caught up with being addicted to the inconsistent behavior. That is a trap that many people fall into. The hot and cold behavior, the mixed signals, the flirting and then the silence, it all creates a rollercoaster of emotions and keeps you hooked. Even though you know deep down that he's not good for you, the uncertainty and the hope that he'll change keeps you invested. Yes, blocking him and unblocking him is a childish game, but it's a game that both of you are playing. By unblocking him to see if he blocked you back, you were also seeking his attention and validation. And by him blocking you back, he's also trying to assert some power and control in the situation. It's a toxic cycle that needs to be broken. My advice to you is to cut ties completely with this guy. Block him on all social media and focus on your own healing and self-growth. Don't play these games with him or with anyone else. It's not worth your time and energy. Surround yourself with people who treat you with respect and consistency. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 Mom talk: Instead of the knee jerk reaction and block someone because you are pissy about it..why not just pick up the phone and CALL them and ask what's going on and let them know how you feel...like COMMUNICATE instead of reacting like a 13 year old girl. You want a man to treat you like a mature woman he can respect, then present yourself like one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 23 hours ago, Danna225 said: I agree. Why do you think he did that ? Asking me if I wanted to go to lunch, just to be silent when the day comes. ? Danna, emotional mind games are far too common and done for a number of reasons. Do some searching and you'll get a good idea of why people resort to these kinds of tactics. In the end they only hurt relationships and the people involved. Take all of this as a lesson on what NOT to do in the future. Think this is a good article to help you figure all this out. I'm sure you can find plenty of others. https://brieschmidt.com/mind-games/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danna225 Posted July 21 Author Share Posted July 21 2 hours ago, ShySoul said: Danna, emotional mind games are far too common and done for a number of reasons. Do some searching and you'll get a good idea of why people resort to these kinds of tactics. In the end they only hurt relationships and the people involved. Take all of this as a lesson on what NOT to do in the future. Think this is a good article to help you figure all this out. I'm sure you can find plenty of others. https://brieschmidt.com/mind-games/ Thank you I’ll look into it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted July 22 Share Posted July 22 On 7/20/2024 at 4:13 AM, Danna225 said: The day comes and it’s completely silent on his end he doesn’t reach out or anything. Yet he was viewing all of my social media stories I was posting that day. I felt disrespected and played so I decided to block him from everything including instagram. The next day I was curious so I unblocked him just to see if he noticed. Come to find out he blocked me back ? Why would he block me back when he’s already blocked? Especially when he’s the reason why he got blocked? I know this is a very juvenile question, and it’s sucks that men in their mid twenties are playing childish kiddy games like this. Its more like you are BOTH playing the games. IF you were truly serious, you would not be going back to check & see 'if he noticed'. I am sure, deep inside, you were hoping he'd say something your way about it... right? Fact: you two are done now. He is your ex. So, no more games. just be done and stop tormenting yourself this way, He was most likely testing the waters with you and realized things are not the same anymore. Then YOU have to accept what is and move on now - expect no more. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danna225 Posted July 24 Author Share Posted July 24 On 7/20/2024 at 9:30 AM, Cherylyn said: Apparently not so have a discussion with him. He blocked you to retaliate. Wouldn’t that be just as childish… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coily Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 44 minutes ago, Danna225 said: Wouldn’t that be just as childish… It would be. Free advice isn't always good advice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherylyn Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 1 hour ago, Danna225 said: Wouldn’t that be just as childish… Yes, it's childish but it doesn't matter. It's a way to seek revenge by getting back at you in a passive aggressive way. It's "this is what you did to me, therefore, I'll do this to you so take that!" Yes, it's immature ***-for-tat. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danna225 Posted July 25 Author Share Posted July 25 5 hours ago, Cherylyn said: Yes, it's childish but it doesn't matter. It's a way to seek revenge by getting back at you in a passive aggressive way. It's "this is what you did to me, therefore, I'll do this to you so take that!" Yes, it's immature ***-for-tat. Isn’t showing you care in a way ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 It's showing care purely from ego. OP, seriously, is this the scraps you hope to attract? I know you're so anxious that by the fact you went out with him after all this time and hooked up that you got reeled in. He clearly wanted to hurt you back by blocking you. You're better off staying away from this guy completely. He's a bad fit who cannot forgive a grudge and the drug is too toxic. I know you're desperate to know something, be treated a certain way, but it's going to take working on yourself, not clutching at anything that looks desperate and has nothing of substance to give. Being "hard to forget" isn't something to be thrilled about. Being forgettable should feel empowering: it means you've moved on with your life in a positive manner instead of tap dancing for someone who's offered you nothing but grief. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coily Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 2 hours ago, Danna225 said: Isn’t showing you care in a way ? It is, but you know you have to gaslight a gaslighter in to gaslight illumination. Personally I would rather not engage in an immature back and forth; place a stake in your value and your self worth and leave such foolishness behind. Take this moment and grow from it; set your true North and go forward; to do otherwise may "feel good"; but all it does is make you vindictive, petty, and trapped in a small world. Don't be an infant, be the woman you aspire to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 I think he blocked you back to get you to keep thinking about him. Guess what? It worked in spades. You are on here asking total strangers about him. He wins! You two actually seem like you are meant for each other. I am kidding of course...or maybe I am not. Let it go or he continues to win. Lost 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 2 hours ago, Danna225 said: Isn’t showing you care in a way ? It shows you care about yourself. Its using and manipulating another persons feelings in order to boost your own. If you really care for someone you want to uplift them, make them feel better. These actions only make people feel worse. It makes the question themselves and get depressed. That isn't care. That isn't concern. That isn't love. That is petty and spiteful. I know it hurts. I know a part of you wants to believe he cares. But that kind of caring isn't worth it. You would never be at peace or could enjoy a healthy relationship. Let him play his games and be alone with them. You deserve so much more. Be the better person who puts an end to it all and moves onto something better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danna225 Posted July 25 Author Share Posted July 25 1 hour ago, ShySoul said: It shows you care about yourself. Its using and manipulating another persons feelings in order to boost your own. If you really care for someone you want to uplift them, make them feel better. These actions only make people feel worse. It makes the question themselves and get depressed. That isn't care. That isn't concern. That isn't love. That is petty and spiteful. I know it hurts. I know a part of you wants to believe he cares. But that kind of caring isn't worth it. You would never be at peace or could enjoy a healthy relationship. Let him play his games and be alone with them. You deserve so much more. Be the better person who puts an end to it all and moves onto something better. I agree. I told someone else about it and they told me that what he did was the common right thing to do ? They told me that of someone blocks you, then you should block them back…… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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