Why did he block me after I blocked him ?

[Danna225]

So me and my ex boyfriend have been flirting back and forth for awhile now. We even met up a month ago to hook up. Anyways I posted a quote on my story saying how “I’m hard to forget and how I’m unforgettable” this is how the convo went.

Him - yea yea yea 

Me- you know it 

Him - mm idk 

Me - you know you still like/have feelings for me 

Him- how are you so sure 

Me - so you don’t 

Him - I do … 

Me- and you haven’t done anything about it ? 

Him- what am I supposed to do? Do you wanna grab dinner on so and so date 

Me- sure 

The day comes and it’s completely silent on his end he doesn’t reach out or anything. Yet he was viewing all of my social media stories I was posting that day. I felt disrespected and played so I decided to block him from everything including instagram. The next day I was curious so I unblocked him just to see if he noticed. Come to find out he blocked me back ? Why would he block me back when he’s already blocked? Especially when he’s the reason why he got blocked? I know this is a very juvenile question, and it’s sucks that men in their mid twenties are playing childish kiddy games like this.

 

[MissCanuck]

4 minutes ago, Danna225 said:

t’s sucks that men in their mid twenties are playing childish kiddy games like this.

You're doing it too, girl. 

Both of you need to mature. Next time, raise your standards and don't go back to exes for validation. 

[Danna225]

1 minute ago, MissCanuck said:

You're doing it too, girl. 

Both of you need to mature. Next time, raise your standards and don't go back to exes for validation. 

I don’t think I am … but maybe I’m doing something I’m not realizing? I would love to hear your opinion on how I’m playing games ?

[MissCanuck]

1 minute ago, Danna225 said:

I would love to hear your opinion on how I’m playing games ?

Blocking and then unblocking to see if he noticed that you blocked him. 

This is silly. 

[Capricorn3]

2 hours ago, Danna225 said:

 I know this is a very juvenile question, and it’s sucks that men in their mid twenties are playing childish kiddy games like this.

You're right, it's all very juvenile. I don't know how old you are, but you're playing childish kiddy games more than he is (imo).

[Kwothe28]

"I threw my poopoo to the other side of the fence. I was very surprised when other side threw poopoo at me". Literally you right now.

[Batya33]

I'm married to my ex fiancee.  If we'd met up to hook up we wouldn't be married now.  And your strategy of posting on SM apparently backfired.  I'd stop the indirect nonsense and testing.  If you just want a casual hookup do that with someone you don't have this sort of history with.  Also if you want to go on a proper date consider responding with more enthusiasm and setting the time and place if at all possible then -and -perhaps doing this by phone not with texting and acronyms that come across as high school style.

[Coily]

What in the middle school drama is this?

You set the tone for this. This is the piper you had to pay.

[Danna225]

I’m confused how any of this is my fault ??? Or how I’m the one that’s playing games ???

[MissCanuck]

We've already explained above. 

What is hard to grasp about it?

[yogacat]

I think the tone of your replies to him are sounding very "I know you like me and you are going to have to convince me to consider you." That may not be what you intend, of course- but that's pretty much the vibe I get reading them.

Personally, I think these texts are very hard to read because each of you interpreted what the other said in different ways: And to make matters worse, this didn't happen just once or twice - it seemed to keep happening throughout the conversation.

At some points, one person suggests something and the other person seems to assume it was a joke, or a rhetorical question, when the first person actually meant it seriously (and vice versa). I think this that happened multiple times.

So it's not really surprising that there is miscommunications, and that neither of you were sure exactly what the other person was thinking or suggesting. There are points where he asks you: “How are you so sure?” that you still like him, not necessarily because he doubts the statement itself, but just to clarify: Is this really you saying that, or are you just trying to tease me, or is something else going on?

So, go ahead and tell us. After the hook-up one month ago, did you want to take your relationship with him to the next level (of dating and romance)?

[catfeeder]

Quote

Why did he block me after I blocked him ?

Seriously?

[Danna225]

47 minutes ago, yogacat said:

I think the tone of your replies to him are sounding very "I know you like me and you are going to have to convince me to consider you." That may not be what you intend, of course- but that's pretty much the vibe I get reading them.

Personally, I think these texts are very hard to read because each of you interpreted what the other said in different ways: And to make matters worse, this didn't happen just once or twice - it seemed to keep happening throughout the conversation.

At some points, one person suggests something and the other person seems to assume it was a joke, or a rhetorical question, when the first person actually meant it seriously (and vice versa). I think this that happened multiple times.

So it's not really surprising that there is miscommunications, and that neither of you were sure exactly what the other person was thinking or suggesting. There are points where he asks you: “How are you so sure?” that you still like him, not necessarily because he doubts the statement itself, but just to clarify: Is this really you saying that, or are you just trying to tease me, or is something else going on?

So, go ahead and tell us. After the hook-up one month ago, did you want to take your relationship with him to the next level (of dating and romance)?

The thing is when he asked me to dinner I responded saying yes I’d like to go. He didn’t even open the message of me saying I wanted to go. He left me on delivered for 4 days and then proceeded to watch all of my social media posts knowing I can see him watching it. If he didn’t want to go out with me he should’ve just kept his mouth shut. 
 

I know him, his pride is higher than the Empire State Building. I feel like he just wanted to see if I still wanted him, and if he could still get me to go out with him. It was an ego boost for him. 

[Danna225]

26 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Seriously?

I didn’t think people did that ?? What’s the point 

[Cherylyn]

Have a preferably in person discussion to try to resolve this.  If communication is poor,  generally people will return the favor by doing likewise such as blocking,  for example.

[Danna225]

I’m kinda confused how know one sees that what he did warrant him to be blocked… like does know one see a problem with what he did ?

[Cherylyn]

1 minute ago, Danna225 said:

I’m kinda confused how know one sees that what he did warrant him to be blocked… like does know one see a problem with what he did ?

Apparently not so have a discussion with him.  He blocked you to retaliate.

[yogacat]

15 minutes ago, Danna225 said:

The thing is when he asked me to dinner I responded saying yes I’d like to go. He didn’t even open the message of me saying I wanted to go. He left me on delivered for 4 days and then proceeded to watch all of my social media posts knowing I can see him watching it. If he didn’t want to go out with me he should’ve just kept his mouth shut. 

I assume this happened before the mutual blocking?

Well, if so, that certainly changes things.

It wasn't cool of him to invite you out and then ignore your response.

That's actually a pretty crappy move.

It sounds like you were right to block him and move on. But, you went a step further and checked to see if he had noticed, which clearly indicates that on some level you still want him to pursue you.  

So, were you hoping that this would spur him to take more action? It's not a good move because he isn't going to take the bait on that at this point -  he's never going to all of a sudden realize "wow- I have feelings for her and I must drop everything and reach out to her."  

From his point of view, you rolled him a ball he could drop, and he knew he would never do anything but watch the ball roll away.  

So... sure, it was a pride move - but you played along by letting him do it - which doesn't reflect well on you either. Mostly I think it sounds like you two have both had it with this dating situation, it seems like it really got old for you both a while back and maybe it's best to not contact him or see him at all, even if he does get in touch with you.

Okay, so long as you two wanted to perpetuate the game then it was fine, but personally I think you should call it quits. Nobody's really getting what they want any more, are they 😞

Your “I’m hard to forget and how I’m unforgettable” sounds kind of like a bit of bait (or even a statement that is testing him - not sure, but it sounds "jokingly hard to please" [and maybe a bit confrontational to me] and it could alert him that you are still receptive of him and expecting him to keep chasing you, win you over, and put in more effort. 

Why did you both break up initially?

[Kwothe28]

10 minutes ago, Danna225 said:

I’m kinda confused how know one sees that what he did warrant him to be blocked… like does know one see a problem with what he did ?

Oh, we all see what warranted him block. But we are all in awe how bad your self- awareness is. You blocked him first to get attention and because he got you mad. And then unblocked him the next day. Only to find out he blocked you in the process. Play stupid games- win stupid prices.

[Batya33]

14 minutes ago, yogacat said:

Your “I’m hard to forget and how I’m unforgettable” sounds kind of like a bit of bait (or even a statement that is testing him - not sure, but it sounds "jokingly hard to please" [and maybe a bit confrontational to me] and it could alert him that you are still receptive of him and expecting him to keep chasing you, win you over, and put in more effort. 

I agree and see this as a sign that you're a wee bit too invested in posting on SM with the excuse that it's part of your "story" - how about rewrite your story in your head - think before you speak-think multiple times before you post/type - so that you are a person who is above board, doesn't hide behind a screen and is willing to put in the effort to talk in person or at least by phone with a person you are wanting to date/be intimate with.

[ShySoul]

8 hours ago, Danna225 said:

So me and my ex boyfriend have been flirting back and forth for awhile now. We even met up a month ago to hook up.

Neither of you have ever gotten over the other. Neither of you have settled what you want to be to each other. Are you exs who don't want each other? Are you friends? Are you people who hook up occassionally? Do you want to date? Do you want an actual relationship? Neither of you know what you want so you are stuck in limbo playing these back and forth games.

Yes, there is a problem with what he did. Yes, you were right to block him. If that had been the end, everything would have been fine. But there are always two sides to a story. Your actions next just continued the problem. 

Until one of you makes up your mind and clarifies where things stand, this will continue. You will flirt back and forth, maybe get together, then one of you will do or say something that causes problems. You will go back to being angry or fustrated with each other. Then you'll go back to flirting and the cycle will repeat.

Is that what you want? Will that really make you happy?

Be the stronger person and make a choice. Do you want more with him? Then come out and say it. See if you can actually have something real and work through whatever caused the breakup in the first place. And if you don't want anything, then just cut contact and don't allow yourself to be pulled into this endless cycle of games.

[Danna225]

28 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

Neither of you have ever gotten over the other. Neither of you have settled what you want to be to each other. Are you exs who don't want each other? Are you friends? Are you people who hook up occassionally? Do you want to date? Do you want an actual relationship? Neither of you know what you want so you are stuck in limbo playing these back and forth games.

Yes, there is a problem with what he did. Yes, you were right to block him. If that had been the end, everything would have been fine. But there are always two sides to a story. Your actions next just continued the problem. 

Until one of you makes up your mind and clarifies where things stand, this will continue. You will flirt back and forth, maybe get together, then one of you will do or say something that causes problems. You will go back to being angry or fustrated with each other. Then you'll go back to flirting and the cycle will repeat.

Is that what you want? Will that really make you happy?

Be the stronger person and make a choice. Do you want more with him? Then come out and say it. See if you can actually have something real and work through whatever caused the breakup in the first place. And if you don't want anything, then just cut contact and don't allow yourself to be pulled into this endless cycle of games.

I agree. Why do you think he did that ? Asking me if I wanted to go to lunch, just to be silent when the day comes. ?

[Danna225]

46 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I agree and see this as a sign that you're a wee bit too invested in posting on SM with the excuse that it's part of your "story" - how about rewrite your story in your head - think before you speak-think multiple times before you post/type - so that you are a person who is above board, doesn't hide behind a screen and is willing to put in the effort to talk in person or at least by phone with a person you are wanting to date/be intimate with.

It was on my public page we’re all of my friends/followers could see. it was more so a self love quote. It wasn’t directed towards him or anyone. Yet he was the only one that commented. I’ve dated other men since him so and those men are on my page.

 

 

[Danna225]

1 hour ago, yogacat said:

I assume this happened before the mutual blocking?

Well, if so, that certainly changes things.

It wasn't cool of him to invite you out and then ignore your response.

That's actually a pretty crappy move.

It sounds like you were right to block him and move on. But, you went a step further and checked to see if he had noticed, which clearly indicates that on some level you still want him to pursue you.  

So, were you hoping that this would spur him to take more action? It's not a good move because he isn't going to take the bait on that at this point -  he's never going to all of a sudden realize "wow- I have feelings for her and I must drop everything and reach out to her."  

From his point of view, you rolled him a ball he could drop, and he knew he would never do anything but watch the ball roll away.  

So... sure, it was a pride move - but you played along by letting him do it - which doesn't reflect well on you either. Mostly I think it sounds like you two have both had it with this dating situation, it seems like it really got old for you both a while back and maybe it's best to not contact him or see him at all, even if he does get in touch with you.

Okay, so long as you two wanted to perpetuate the game then it was fine, but personally I think you should call it quits. Nobody's really getting what they want any more, are they 😞

Your “I’m hard to forget and how I’m unforgettable” sounds kind of like a bit of bait (or even a statement that is testing him - not sure, but it sounds "jokingly hard to please" [and maybe a bit confrontational to me] and it could alert him that you are still receptive of him and expecting him to keep chasing you, win you over, and put in more effort. 

Why did you both break up initially?

No I blocked him because I wanted nothing to do with him and still don’t. No I don’t want him to contact me at all. I unblocked him for a split second to see if he maybe blocked me back… and I was right. 

[yogacat]

15 minutes ago, Danna225 said:

I agree. Why do you think he did that ? Asking me if I wanted to go to lunch, just to be silent when the day comes. ?

Because he is trying to play mind games and keep you on a string. He may have hoped that you would still be interested and reaching out to him after he ignored you, making him feel desirable and wanted. By blocking you back, he may be trying to regain control and make you feel rejected. It is a manipulative and immature behavior, and it is best to move on and not engage with someone who plays these types of games.