Am I wrong for being angry and betrayed

[ShySoul]

On 7/14/2024 at 12:02 PM, Sadboy99 said:

She brought about how distraught she was and that she would quit her program. I told her until she agrees to my boundaries I will not worry about her life  and that I do not care. I now feel awful and childish for feeling the way I feel.

Sadboy, whatever you decided to do, I hope it was right for you. I fully believe the two of you could work things out. She seemed like she wanted to still be with you and was sorry for here actions. You didn't seem content with your actions either and still seemed to care for her. I really hope this could have a happy ending and not be another in the endless list of couples who had an issue and quit on it.

[lostandhurt]

Making excuses for a cheater does not excuse her cheating.

She did him wrong so many times I lost count and has shown her true colors.

You cannot love someone enough to make them a good person, you cannot love someone enough so they will treat you with respect and honesty.

 It wasn't his fault she cheated, it wasn't the fault of these men she was chatting up during the relationship.  It was totally her fault, her choices and ultimately her consequences to deal with. 

 OP Don't loose sight of the facts.  I know you love her and do not want to lose this but exactly what will you be losing?  Someone you cannot trust?  Someone that easily goes behind your back and seeks out other men?  Someone that lies to you over and over again?

Seems to me when you look at what she really is not what you want her to be you will see you are gaining a lot by removing her from your life.

  Lost

[ShySoul]

15 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Seems to me when you look at what she really is not what you want her to be you will see you are gaining a lot by removing her from your life.

On 7/14/2024 at 12:02 PM, Sadboy99 said:

For the next year, the struggle to recover from my personal issues, stress, and extremely low libido made me hard to be with. More specifically, she felt disliked and neglected.

On 7/14/2024 at 12:02 PM, Sadboy99 said:

She was upfront about it with me

On 7/14/2024 at 12:02 PM, Sadboy99 said:

She told me that something is wrong with her in that she is extremely curious about their lives. She tried to assure me that she loves me truly.

On 7/14/2024 at 12:02 PM, Sadboy99 said:

She brought about how distraught she was and that she would quit her program.

Yes, lets look at who she is. A woman who stood by someone who, in his own words, was hard to deal with and made her feel disliked and neglected. A woman who was upfront and honest about talking to people. A woman who admitted her mistakes saying something was wrong with her. A women who offered to quit her program for him. And a woman who still wanted to be with someone who spied on her phone and kept his knowledge of her a secret to test her reactions. 

Both sides made mistakes and handled things poorly. Seems to me if you take all of the events added together and not fixate on one thing, you'll see this is a learning experience for both people and that no one here is entirely at fault or a victim.

[lostandhurt]

Sorry she is at fault plain and simple.  Defending cheating and making excuses for it never flies for the honest among us.  Even cheaters that have finally admitted what a horrible thing they have done and accepted all responsibility will no longer defend cheating.  It is a choice, one she has not accepted responsibility for in the least.

Second chances are great but they should not be wasted on the unrepentant.

Lost

[MissCanuck]

He would have to be lacking all self-respect to even consider staying with her.