How to handle this - two guys

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

@kim42 if/when you're ever ready to share more, how did he react when you told him you wanted him to leave?

Had you been clicking and getting on well before he told you about the married woman?

I agree with others, why fly to visit you and then share that info?

Make zero sense. 

Anyway again hope you're okay. 

Weird -maybe he thought that would be some sort of turn on? Or establish that she'd be one of his side chicks since he is a side-boytoy I guess for the married mom whose husband is in on it. I think the only person who would be ok with it is a person who is also involved with a married person and the married person isn't always available so this way it all can be above board.

[kim42]

The unemployment thing is 100% true. We have common friends from the same work field and I also happen to know someone from his current company, so I know he was unemployed for sure.

I don't want to share exactly what happened while he was visiting right now, I just don't want to think about it again. I'm still trying to process stuff.

I just wanted to share with you guys the main reason why I don't want to have anything with him anymore.

Thanks again for all your support💛

[rainbowsandroses]

13 minutes ago, kim42 said:

The unemployment thing is 100% true. We have common friends from the same work field and I also happen to know someone from his current company, so I know he was unemployed for sure.

I'm not doubting his unemployment status Kim.  He may very well have been unemployed.

What I am doubting is that being unemployed was the reason he couldn't come visit and this had been mentioned on your prior threads by a few others as well. 

I mean, obviously he's been going out for a year, spending money etc.  Whether it's on this married woman (and her three kids?) or not.

My point was an interested man will find a way to make the visit happen even if he has to cut back somewhere.  Given he was unemployed, he certainly had the time.

Given this recent disclosure, I would think you would at least consider the possibility.

Anyway just my opinion, doesn't matter now.  What's important is you discovered the truth about him and got rid!

I respect your wishes not wanting to discuss further, and won't press it.

I am sorry you got disappointed and hopefully a lesson to be learned from this unfortunate experience.

Nuff said.

 

 

[DarkCh0c0]

12 minutes ago, kim42 said:

The unemployment thing is 100% true. We have common friends from the same work field and I also happen to know someone from his current company, so I know he was unemployed for sure.

I don't want to share exactly what happened while he was visiting right now, I just don't want to think about it again. I'm still trying to process stuff.

I just wanted to share with you guys the main reason why I don't want to have anything with him anymore.

Thanks again for all your support💛

I'm sorry it went the way it did, and I appreciate you took the time to write this.

Take care 🩷

[Jaunty]

Thanks for letting us know.  

What a ***.  I mean ... if you two were becoming friends of some sort during your long period of texting or whatever method of communicating, he sure could have told you during this period.  Waiting until you are face to face?  

Yuck.

Sorry, what a disappointment.  But, at least you know now.