Treyou916 Posted July 26 Author Share Posted July 26 I've read the whole convo when she was planning to leave me, she wasn't planning to leave me for him but did not know how to do it, so she asked for help. I went back to the start when they first chatted and sure it was a little flirty at first but nothing went over the line, the invite to the concert was the only part I found fishy in their convo but nothing was deleted and everything seems friendly honestly. But I'm obviously not giving him the benefit of the doubt! I still don't trust this guy! He could be playing the long game! But any flirtatious messages he sent were acknowledged with a thank you but that's it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinydance Posted July 26 Share Posted July 26 I understand you love her and have a family together but you seem in serious denial. Your fiancee either doesn't want to be with you anymore, so she's trying to find someone else. Or she wants to cheat on you while being with you. It really sounds to me like you're pushing her to stay with you, but if you hadn't caught her she could have been hooking up with that guy! I'm sure that she's not stupid and she knows very well what guys on Facebook dating are looking for. And in all honesty, unless it's a guy she met through work or friends or something, guys online wouldn't just be looking for friendship. Guys online always want something like hookup or dating. Like, why they would go online to find a female "friend"? Your girlfriend has plenty of options of how to make female friends. There are Meetup groups, female social groups, female Facebook groups (I'm in some), classes like yoga, cooking, etc. Also even apps like Bumble BFF or Peanut which is for women who have kids. She's being extremely disrespectful and you were more or less letting her get away with it. She was going to leave your children with you and while you're watching them go hook up with some guy. Of course it wasn't just friends because if it was, she'd let you meet him. I'm sorry but if she wants to leave you, you can't really do that much about it. Monitoring what she's doing or who she's talking to will only prevent her from cheating. But it won't change the fact she wants to cheat. And if she does want to work it out with you then she HAS to stop all this. She can't have it both ways. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted July 26 Share Posted July 26 OP, what have your previous relationships looked like? Were they equally as dysfunctional? I am trying to understand why you have kissed all your dignity goodbye with this woman. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treyou916 Posted July 26 Author Share Posted July 26 5 hours ago, MissCanuck said: OP, what have your previous relationships looked like? Were they equally as dysfunctional? I am trying to understand why you have kissed all your dignity goodbye with this woman. My previous relationships have been verry dysfunctional.. I've been cheated on, lied to and betrayed alot.. far worst then wjat my fiancé has done. So yeah maybe I'm minimizing the problem to feel better about it.. but she also had toxic relationships so I honestly don't think anything happened.. at most I could accept the term "emotional cheating" because she went behind my back and lied to me. But nothing in her messages indicated that she was gonna leave me "for him" she was looking for an out because things weren't doing so good between us and wanted advice.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted July 26 Share Posted July 26 You make up a lot of excuses to justify staying with this trainwreck. I hope you know this isn't going to end well for you. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted July 26 Share Posted July 26 Okay so you both are a bit of a mess. That doesn't justify her being on a dating app does it? Just because she didn't physically cheat on you with this guy doesn't mean there aren't others out there. Has she shown you all her activity on fb dating? All messages sent and relieved? Did she take down her profile finally after all this? You see in instances like this actions are what you need to focus on, not words. It is obvious you aren't going to end it with her which is your choice but you have to do something to break the cycle. You mentioned therapy. Has an appointment been made? Looked for a therapist? Checked to see what is covered in your health plan? Has anything been done to get you both in front of someone to help you find healthy solutions to your problems? What is the living situation? What is her financial situation? Is she totally defendant on you? Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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