Spinoff of YC's 'Standing Alone' Thread

[Seraphim]

7 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I feel the same and as my son gets older these sorts of biases when I see them concern me. 

Exactly today’s society has become very anti male . 2 generations behind us and ours fought for equality not to be “ better than” but equal to. I served in the military doing the same job a man did. We never strove to be “ better” we just wanted the same value. What I am seeing now is wanting to negate the value of men but at the same time expect protection from men . Women need to learn to protect themselves. If a man wants to give his protection willingly that is different. 

[yogacat]

4 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Exactly today’s society has become very anti male . 2 generations behind us and ours fought for equality not to be “ better than” but equal to. I served in the military doing the same job a man did. We never strove to be “ better” we just wanted the same value. What I am seeing now is wanting to negate the value of men but at the same time expect protection from men . Women need to learn to protect themselves. If a man wants to give his protection willingly that is different. 

I disagree. I think in society today, there is a push for true equality rather than men being "better than" or women being "better than." It's important to recognize that for centuries, women have been fighting for equal rights and opportunities and it's only now that we are seeing some progress towards that. I don't see a trend where men's value is being neglected or negated, but rather a shift towards recognizing equal value in all genders.

[Seraphim]

6 minutes ago, yogacat said:

I disagree. I think in society today, there is a push for true equality rather than men being "better than" or women being "better than." It's important to recognize that for centuries, women have been fighting for equal rights and opportunities and it's only now that we are seeing some progress towards that. I don't see a trend where men's value is being neglected or negated, but rather a shift towards recognizing equal value in all genders.

No , it isn’t only now we have seen progress. There was a lot of progress long before now . I come from a long line of independent strong women well beyond their time period in progress, even my great grandmother who died in 1914 was well beyond her time running her own farm on her own and raising 3 grand daughters. 
 

But I do believe there is a push to negate men. I have seen it happen to my husband and other male members of my family . 

[Kwothe28]

11 minutes ago, yogacat said:

I disagree. I think in society today, there is a push for true equality rather than men being "better than" or women being "better than." It's important to recognize that for centuries, women have been fighting for equal rights and opportunities and it's only now that we are seeing some progress towards that. I don't see a trend where men's value is being neglected or negated, but rather a shift towards recognizing equal value in all genders.

We literally had a thread where you told the guy to forgive his wife for cheating because "he probably ignored her during pregnancy so that is why she asked for attention from her coworker". You wouldnt give that leeway if OP was a woman. So, if you need an evidence of society having double standards, all you have to do is to look yourself in the mirror lol

[Batya33]

14 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

No , it isn’t only now we have seen progress. There was a lot of progress long before now . I come from a long line of independent strong women well beyond their time period in progress, even my great grandmother who died in 1914 was well beyond her time running her own farm on her own and raising 3 grand daughters. 
 

But I do believe there is a push to negate men. I have seen it happen to my husband and other male members of my family . 

And I think equality in the workplace looks different from equality in male female relationships.  Which is fine. One of my pet peeves is the insistence of referring to a male spouse and his male son as “the boys” or equating them as far as the interaction between the mom and “the boys”.  Sometimes it’s harmless and often it’s done to pretend that the adult father is a kid too and is treated as such by “mom”.  I let it go if a friend just casually refers to “the boys” but I make sure my husband knows he is an adult and the co parent especially in front of our son. 
I’m not sure the reactions would have been different in this particular instance if the gf had run away instead of the bf. I would tend to think so. 

[mylolita]

I think with life or death, snap situations like this, no one truly knows how they would act until it is put upon them and it happens. 
 

Can I add my own example of a life and death situation? 
 

The Christmas before last, Christmas night, 3am - my husband collapsed out of nowhere and stopped breathing. I had zero first aid training. I had a 3 month old new born sleeping in her Moses basket and my three year old and two year old daughter in their own rooms also fast asleep.

 

At first I thought he was joking. I asked him to wake up. Then I called the ambulance and the paramedic on the phone had to tell me how to give my husband, who wasn’t breathing and a new father of 3, CPR. I had to do it for half an hour until an ambulance finally came. The door was locked in our holiday cottage and as soon as I heard them knock I literally jumped a near whole flight of stairs to get to open the door quick enough.
 

When he got to hospital the consultant told him I’d broken his rib, which apparently is how you know you’ve done it right, and he also said “Your wife saved your life tonight.” 
 

If someone had told me - how would you react if you had to give your husband CPR because he stopped breathing and keep him alive on Christmas night - I wouldn’t have known how I would have reacted. I would have liked to think I’d have done my best and fought for him. It worked out okay, and I didn’t fall to pieces either like I presumed I also would when the paramedics left and he was gone for two days at the hospital after. I had to carry on with my life and three young kids. 
 

How we react at the time will surprise some people. Dramatic situations can reveal cowards of some and hero’s of others. Each situation and reaction will also be different depending on the individual and all kinds of outside factors.

 

I truly believe you never can tell.

 

I’d of course say, myself, without hesitation, that I would lay down my life 1000 times over for my husband and my children. I hope that’s never put to the test and I also hope I would have the strength to do the right thing at the right time!
 

x

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, mylolita said:

I think with life or death, snap situations like this, no one truly knows how they would act until it is put upon them and it happens. 
 

Can I add my own example of a life and death situation? 
 

The Christmas before last, Christmas night, 3am - my husband collapsed out of nowhere and stopped breathing. I had zero first aid training. I had a 3 month old new born sleeping in her Moses basket and my three year old and two year old daughter in their own rooms also fast asleep.

 

At first I thought he was joking. I asked him to wake up. Then I called the ambulance and the paramedic on the phone had to tell me how to give my husband, who wasn’t breathing and a new father of 3, CPR. I had to do it for half an hour until an ambulance finally came. The door was locked in our holiday cottage and as soon as I heard them knock I literally jumped a near whole flight of stairs to get to open the door quick enough.
 

When he got to hospital the consultant told him I’d broken his rib, which apparently is how you know you’ve done it right, and he also said “Your wife saved your life tonight.” 
 

If someone had told me - how would you react if you had to give your husband CPR because he stopped breathing and keep him alive on Christmas night - I wouldn’t have known how I would have reacted. I would have liked to think I’d have done my best and fought for him. It worked out okay, and I didn’t fall to pieces either like I presumed I also would when the paramedics left and he was gone for two days at the hospital after. I had to carry on with my life and three young kids. 
 

How we react at the time will surprise some people. Dramatic situations can reveal cowards of some and hero’s of others. Each situation and reaction will also be different depending on the individual and all kinds of outside factors.

 

I truly believe you never can tell.

 

I’d of course say I’d, without hesitation, law my life down 1000 times over for my husband and my children. I hope that’s never put to the test and I also hope I would have the strength to do what I want to think I would! 
 

x

I am so sorry you guys had to experience that. Yes, you are right in life and death no knows how they will react unless it happens. You can think you know but you don’t . 

[mylolita]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

We literally had a thread where you told the guy to forgive his wife for cheating because "he probably ignored her during pregnancy so that is why she asked for attention from her coworker". You wouldnt give that leeway if OP was a woman. So, if you need an evidence of society having double standards, all you have to do is to look yourself in the mirror lol

I have to say, sorry to de-rail, but I totally agree Kwothe.

 

Women have equality now and absolutely beyond! 
 

If women care about equality, go take a plane to Iraq, or parts of Africa - where true horror and oppression and abuse is happening to women and girls on an everyday basis. Genital mutilation, zero human rights, child marriage, not allowed to go attend basic school, not allowed to drive, not allowed to leave their homes unless accompanied by a male family member and given permission, on and on.
 

We are pampered, given every opportunity, free women in western nations. To complain in my eyes is to take the absolute biscuit, and insult women who are actually oppressed, in many other parts of the world. 

 

x

[mylolita]

1 minute ago, Seraphim said:

I am so sorry you guys had to experience that. Yes, you are right in life and death no knows how they will react unless it happens. You can think you know but you don’t . 

As someone who has served time in the army Seraphim I am sure you know that you never know! 
 

My husband used to box and he said about judging how someone will fight or react in a fight - he told me in his experience, you never can tell. People can be all talk and it means nothing. Sometimes people surprise you.

 

I don’t think anyone can pre-disposition how they would react under such stress.

 

I think we all would hope we’d be gallant and do the right thing. 
 

x

[Seraphim]

5 minutes ago, mylolita said:

As someone who has served time in the army Seraphim I am sure you know that you never know! 
 

My husband used to box and he said about judging how someone will fight or react in a fight - he told me in his experience, you never can tell. People can be all talk and it means nothing. Sometimes people surprise you.

 

I don’t think anyone can pre-disposition how they would react under such stress.

 

I think we all would hope we’d be gallant and do the right thing. 
 

x

I have faced death several times. My grandmother died in my arms when I was 13 . I begged people for help but it wasn’t given. I did my best to save her . For years and years I felt guilty that she passed even though the hospital said her heart attack was unsurvivable even if she had been at the hospital. 
 

Seriously people have no clue unless they see death happen. When you see people die in front of your face …. It changes your perspective on life . 

[Batya33]

29 minutes ago, mylolita said:

I think with life or death, snap situations like this, no one truly knows how they would act until it is put upon them and it happens. 
 

Can I add my own example of a life and death situation? 
 

The Christmas before last, Christmas night, 3am - my husband collapsed out of nowhere and stopped breathing. I had zero first aid training. I had a 3 month old new born sleeping in her Moses basket and my three year old and two year old daughter in their own rooms also fast asleep.

 

At first I thought he was joking. I asked him to wake up. Then I called the ambulance and the paramedic on the phone had to tell me how to give my husband, who wasn’t breathing and a new father of 3, CPR. I had to do it for half an hour until an ambulance finally came. The door was locked in our holiday cottage and as soon as I heard them knock I literally jumped a near whole flight of stairs to get to open the door quick enough.
 

When he got to hospital the consultant told him I’d broken his rib, which apparently is how you know you’ve done it right, and he also said “Your wife saved your life tonight.” 
 

If someone had told me - how would you react if you had to give your husband CPR because he stopped breathing and keep him alive on Christmas night - I wouldn’t have known how I would have reacted. I would have liked to think I’d have done my best and fought for him. It worked out okay, and I didn’t fall to pieces either like I presumed I also would when the paramedics left and he was gone for two days at the hospital after. I had to carry on with my life and three young kids. 
 

How we react at the time will surprise some people. Dramatic situations can reveal cowards of some and hero’s of others. Each situation and reaction will also be different depending on the individual and all kinds of outside factors.

 

I truly believe you never can tell.

 

I’d of course say, myself, without hesitation, that I would lay down my life 1000 times over for my husband and my children. I hope that’s never put to the test and I also hope I would have the strength to do the right thing at the right time!
 

x

How scary and I'm so sorry especially with a newborn as well in the house!  And two other young children!You did -great.

I did infant/child cpr training through the Red Cross when my son was 1 year old and did child/adult cpr first aid training twice but it's been several years ago at this point.  I'm -not sure -if I'd remember all the CPR steps but like you our 911 operators can sort of guide you through it.  Knowing me -I likely would need that too because I'd need someone to help me -I'd be in shock, adrenaline going etc.  I've never had to do it for real.  My son almost choked on some chips at a restaurant when he was around 4 and I was ready to assist but he  was ok.  It's really scary though!!

 

[mylolita]

15 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I have faced death several times. My grandmother died in my arms when I was 13 . I begged people for help but it wasn’t given. I did my best to save her . For years and years I felt guilty that she passed even though the hospital said her heart attack was unsurvivable even if she had been at the hospital. 
 

Seriously people have no clue unless they see death happen. When you see people die in front of your face …. It changes your perspective on life . 

I am so sorry this happened to you Seraphim! 
 

You have truly lived a toughest of tough life and been through the wringer. You are so strong! I say that honestly. 
 

x

[mylolita]

7 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

How scary and I'm so sorry especially with a newborn as well in the house!  And two other young children!You did -great.

I did infant/child cpr training through the Red Cross when my son was 1 year old and did child/adult cpr first aid training twice but it's been several years ago at this point.  I'm -not sure -if I'd remember all the CPR steps but like you our 911 operators can sort of guide you through it.  Knowing me -I likely would need that too because I'd need someone to help me -I'd be in shock, adrenaline going etc.  I've never had to do it for real.  My son almost choked on some chips at a restaurant when he was around 4 and I was ready to assist but he  was ok.  It's really scary though!!

 

If it hadn’t been for the operator I don’t know what would have happened Batya! I would have tried but who knows if I would have succeeded! 
 

After the event, I went and read up about CPR and yes! Even first aid for babies! It put the wind up me. 
 

That must have been very scary - that is, one of my worst fears. Sometimes I get this terrible feeling when my husband goes to work away; it goes like this: what if I choke on this steak and the kids are left for days on end with no one to check on them? I heard once if you choke alone, you should try to wind yourself by slamming your diaphragm area or even your back or side hard - throw yourself against a door or the floor, a door handle, etc. a strange piece of information but maybe again, life saving. 
 

These horrible situations can come up, we don’t like to think they will ever happen to us. 
 

My Dad strangely has a history of coming to the rescue! He’s saved two strangers on the street, one who also stopped breathing in his office and another time he tackled a thug who had pushed down an elderly lady and took her hand bag. He pinned him down until the police got there and some other passers by helped and sat on his arms! When I was a kid, I used to think he was a super hero! 
 

Everyone has the capability of doing something really amazing when pressed, I believe.

 

I read a strange article once that said, in a catastrophic bind, a clinical psychopath is the best person to have on hand, because they have an uncanny ability to stay calm and unemotional during a crisis!!! There is a debate that in evolutionary terms, this brain malfunction came about because of its survivalist perks and advantages! 

 

x

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, mylolita said:

I'd of course say, myself, without hesitation, that I would lay down my life 1000 times over for my husband and my children. I hope that’s never put to the test and I also hope I would have the strength to do the right thing at the right time....

Although I agree that no one knows for certain how we will react in any given situation, to me this^^ is our natural instinct.

And getting back to bears, it's exactly what female bears do when with her cubs and often why such attacks happen in the first place. 

She's protecting her cubs and risking her life in the process.  And they often do get shot and killed as well as her cubs by the authorities because cubs are unable to survive without their mother. 

Back to the podcast and the various true life stories, ALL but the man I mentioned who left his girlfriend behind and climbed a tree by himself, stepped in to defend and help their loved one(s) risking their own lives. 

In a few cases, even strangers stepped in!

Again, it all happened so fast, there was no time to process, their first instinct was to help in whatever way they could.

This was/is true for both men and women, it's not gender specific.

I found this so inspiring and a true testament to the human spirit!!

I hope everyone stays safe and if you venture out into nature and bear territory, be sure to bring a friend or loved one, become "bear aware" and learn what to do and what not to do. 

We're heading to Yellowstone end of July, my guyfriend is very experienced and I feel very safe.  There will be others going as well, all quite experienced.

I'm really looking forward to it!!  Nervous but excited.  

 

 

 

 

[mylolita]

1 minute ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Although I agree that no one knows for certain how we will react in any given situation, to me this^^ is our natural instinct.

And getting back to bears, it's exactly what female bears when with her cubs and often why such attacks happen in the first place. 

She's protecting her cubs and risking her life in the process.  And they often do get shot and killed as well as her cubs by the authorities because cubs are unable to survive without their mother. 

Back to the podcast and the various true life stories, ALL but the man I mentioned who left his girlfriend behind and climbed a tree by himself, stepped in to defend and help their loved one(s) risking their own lives. 

In a few cases, even strangers stepped in!

Again, it all happened so fast, there was no time to process, their first instinct was to help in whatever way they could.

I found this so inspiring and a true testament to the human spirit!!

I hope everyone stays safe and if you venture out into nature and bear territory, be sure to bring a friend or loved one, become "bear aware" and learn what to do and what not to do. 

We're heading to Yellowstone end of Jujy, my guyfriend is very experienced and I feel very safe.  There will be others going as well, all quite experienced.

I'm really looking forward to it!!  Nervous but excited.  

 

 

 

 

Rainbows! I doubt when asked if your new guy would throw himself in front of mother bear for you, he was going to say, “No way babe, I’d be up that tree before you know it and you’d be a bear snackaroo!” 🤣

 

I kid! 
 

Have a great time! 
 

And by God my protective spirit towards my family is off the charts. And for other children too. 
 

But, ya never can tell 🚬 🐻 

 

🤣

[Seraphim]

Hahaha there are bears here …. Black bears. My brother came nose to nose with one years ago. He backed up slowly and after he rounded a corner in the path he ran like crazy. 

[mylolita]

Just now, Seraphim said:

Hahaha there are bears here …. Black bears. My brother came nose to nose with one years ago. He backed up slowly and after he rounded a corner in the path he ran like crazy. 

Oh my God!!!

 

🫣

[rainbowsandroses]

Just now, mylolita said:

I doubt when asked if your new guy would throw himself in front of mother bear for you, he was going to say, “No way babe, I’d be up that tree before you know it and you’d be a bear snackaroo!” 🤣

LOL, I thought of that too but like me, he was pretty outraged about it with no prompting from me.

And he's been in such situations before not with bears but other wild animals and helping was his first instinct.  

[mylolita]

Anyone getting reminded of The Sopranos bear scenes?! Or is it just me?! 
 

 

 

[rainbowsandroses]

18 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Hahaha there are bears here …. Black bears. My brother came nose to nose with one years ago. He backed up slowly and after he rounded a corner in the path he ran like crazy. 

That's what we're told to do, back up slowly, do NOT make direct eye contact with the bear and if they start charging, play dead!!

It depends too on what mode the bear is in - defensive mode protecting her cubs, predatory mode because it's hunger or territorial mode.

Such attacks are very very rare but they DO happen more often than we've come to believe especially in recent years. 

Be careful!  

[mylolita]

1 minute ago, rainbowsandroses said:

LOL, I thought of that too but like me, he was pretty outraged about it with no prompting from me.

And he's been in such situations before not with bears but other wild animals and helping was his first instinct.  

Errrr 🤣

 

If he brings salt and pepper to help season you - be worried! 
 

Fun fact - I know a lion tamer! Well, he’s retired now. He worked in the film industry! He was an eccentric nut. He told me the animals he feared, hated working with the most - were chimps. They are incredibly powerful, and extremely violent. They will rip your arm from your socket. When they attack people they also rip something else off that sits between your legs. 
 

He got out of it because he was getting old and CGI came in. 
 

Never did ask him if he worked with bears! 
 

x

[mylolita]

1 minute ago, rainbowsandroses said:

That's what we're told to do, back up slowly, do NOT make direct eye contact with the bear and if they start charging, play dead!!

It depends too on what mode the bear is in - protective mode protecting her cubs, predatory mode because it's hunger or territorial mode.

Such attacks are very very rare but they DO happen more often than we've come to believe especially in recent years. 

Be careful!  

This is argument for carrying a loaded gun and I mean that seriously depending on where you are going and if you are going to be isolated or hiking. 
 

x

[rainbowsandroses]

22 minutes ago, mylolita said:

This is argument for carrying a loaded gun and I mean that seriously depending on where you are going and if you are going to be isolated or hiking. 
 

x

People do carry guns, rifles and such, and do shoot but more times than not it won't bring the bear down, it only enrages them more!

A wounded bear is the most dangerous bear there is.

You gotta shoot in just the right place (the heart) and when in a panic that's hard to do!   True for both the person being attacked and whomever is there helping.

But the resilience of people when under heavy attack is awe-inspiring!!

They'll keep shooting anywhere they can and eventually bring the bear down or cause it to back off and run away.

[yogacat]

2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

We literally had a thread where you told the guy to forgive his wife for cheating because "he probably ignored her during pregnancy so that is why she asked for attention from her coworker". You wouldnt give that leeway if OP was a woman. So, if you need an evidence of society having double standards, all you have to do is to look yourself in the mirror lol

Huh?

Which thread was that? No clue which thread you're referring to where I actually said to forgive cheating wife. Are you sure that was me? I'm so confused now. 🤣

[mylolita]

4 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

People do bring guns, rifles and such, and do shoot but more times than not it won't bring the bear down, it only enrages them more!

A wounded bear is the most dangerous bear there is.

You gotta shoot in just the right place (the heart) and when in a panic that's hard to do!   True for both the person being attacked and whomever is there helping.

But the resilience of some people when under heavy attack is awe-inspiring!!

They'll keep shooting anywhere they can and eventually bring the bear down or cause it to back off and run away.

Well make sure ya man can shoot his gun!! 
 

Tell you what - I’d rather have one when potentially faced with a bear than not! Back up, do what you have to do depending on the type of bear but if that doesn’t work make sure you can meet target practice! 
 

And, enjoy 🤣 this stuff is rare I am presuming! 

 

(By the way rainbows, can I ask - do you enjoy slightly putting yourself in potentially dangerous situations? I remember your last thread someone brought up a slight concern that you were heading to a dangerous part of Mexico or somewhere near the border, but you said it was okay because your date was from there and you were around “his people?” 
 

My gut reaction is don’t put yourself in those situations in the first place and you won’t need to worry about any of this surely?)

 

x