I'm so confused, lost and questioning myself

[rainbowsandroses]

2 minutes ago, lsuckAtThis said:

She pretty much sat there in silence, said she has a lot to think about. I said there is nothing to think about, we are done. You don't have to worry about managing or fearing your next social outing because you didn't respect me/us before and there's no need to respect me/us now.

She also said at one point that she has always been loyal to me and something like this make her feel like being loyal doesn't matter. I told her this has nothing to do with being loyal, it's about my boundaries, respecting my boundaries and respecting the relationship. 

That was perfect, thank you!  I can go on with my day now....😁😅

[rainbowsandroses]

56 minutes ago, lsuckAtThis said:

She tried justifying his actions by saying that's just how it is, he's touchy feely and it's not her being touchy feely with him.  

After saying this, you could have really reduced her by responding

"Well if that's how you truly feel, that you bear no responsibility for what happens to you in life, that it's always someone else's fault or not understanding what proper boundaries are in a committed relationship, then it's clear you're painfully and embarrassingly unaware and I wish you luck with your life, youre gonna need it."

"Me?  I'm moving on to someone more aware and socially intelligent.  Ciao!"

Then close the door for good.

She needs to understand this is not about you being jealous or controlling but rather about HER and how embarrassingly clueless she is!

Anyway, all the best moving forward! 😀

 

 

 

[MissCanuck]

5 hours ago, lsuckAtThis said:

I asked her this, if she likes other men's hands on you. She said not in an intimate or sensual way and that she only likes my hands on her in that way

I'm calling BS on that. Sorry. 

5 hours ago, lsuckAtThis said:

I also asked her this, if they ever had anything going on and she said absolutely not and never.

I also don't believe this. 

Just walk away from her. She is free to get felt up by whomever she wants, and you are free to find a woman who doesn't think you are dim enough to believe her lies. 

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

I'm calling BS on that. Sorry. 

I also don't believe this. 

Just walk away from her. She is free to get felt up by whomever she wants, and you are free to find a woman who doesn't think you are dim enough to believe her lies. 

I agree.  Many of us like the way certain touches feel by humans, animals, etc and we also don't indulge in what we like if it's inappropriate or will make someone else feel uncomfortable.

[jul-els]

If it was me, I wouldn’t go through any histrionics, I would just tell her that you feel your values don’t align and that you’ve grown apart and that you are leaving. And then move on. 

[jul-els]

33 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

I'm calling BS on that. Sorry. 

I also don't believe this. 

Just walk away from her. She is free to get felt up by whomever she wants, and you are free to find a woman who doesn't think you are dim enough to believe her lies. 

Agree. If she didn’t like it, she would put a stop to it. If she felt neutral about it, she would respect her boyfriend’s feelings about it. There’s no grey area. She’s being dishonest. 

[Andrina]

On 7/2/2024 at 1:43 PM, lsuckAtThis said:

They only talk about a couple things, CrossFit and the dramas there. If they're not talking about their workouts or "the work out of they day", it's about who's hooking up with who and who has hooked up with who.

Yeah, she's found kindred spirits in that group so that's very telling about her. Oddly enough, I know of someone else's marriage who broke up when the wife joined one of those Cross Fit groups. She was a mother of 3 and seemingly happy in her marriage. I once saw her husband visiting her at work and they were holding hands going to lunch, and I thought that was so sweet. I didn't know her well, but then found out that on the one year anniversary of that Cross Fit group, they went to a bar to celebrate that night. The trainer was giving her a ride home and a cop found them both passed out drunk, pulled over on the side of the road. Word got back to her husband fast because he was a cop!

I suggest quickly blocking her because she's no longer worth another second of your time. This will also be a good way to move on more quickly once you get through the mourning stage. Take care.

[lsuckAtThis]

I want to thank everyone for the support and showing me that I was not asking for an unrealistic or a unhealthy boundary.