Guy I'm dating Parental Rights were terminated

[naturegirl702]

Hi I'm currently seeing a man I met online who does repairs in my house for free from time to time, he's a great construction worker, very handsome man, cooks for me and travels a distance to spend time with me. Well I decided to look him up after being together for a few months. I found out his parental rights were terminated for child SA abuse. He doesn't seem like that and said he was going  to tell me eventually, but I referred him to businesses that were child care related to make some money. He explained to me that his child and the mother lied on him. It appears this happened when she was 11 or 12 but she's older now and they seem to have a good relationship, but I have yet to meet her. I'm also hesitant about allowing anyone to meet my daughter, especially now. The thing is his case is plastered all online on a legal website and what he did to his child, but he said he mistaken her for someone else and was drunk, it was very graphic reading the details I can't mention here and it says he was in sleeping in the bed with her every night, and they found it hard to believe he mistaken her for someone else who spent the night. At this point I really dont know if this is the truth. He said I can talk to the daughter and she can explain it was an accident and case of mistaken Identity but the case stated that clothing was forcibly removed, but he claims he was drunk and on a sleeping pill. Should I talk to the daughter and get her side before dumping him? He was never charged with assault so could he be telling the truth that he was lied on?

[Capricorn3]

I would dump this disgusting sleaze so fast he wouldn't know what hit him.  His lies are so obvious and pathetic it blows the mind.  Head for the hills and keep going.

[MissCanuck]

5 hours ago, michigannaturegirl said:

Should I talk to the daughter and get her side before dumping him?

Absolutely not. You don't even know this young lady and have no business questioning her about something so highly personal and sensitive. 

Cut all contact with this guy. It is not worth the risk whatsoever. 

[Seraphim]

No ,you don’t contact his daughter .  I was sexually assaulted as a kid by a family member and last thing I would have ever wanted is people knowing and contacting me . That prospect would have been horrifying and caused a massive downward spiral in my mental health as a young person . 
 

Just leave . 

[Seraphim]

11 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Absolutely not. You don't even know this young lady and have no business questioning her about something so highly personal and sensitive. 

Cut all contact with this guy. It is not worth the risk whatsoever. 

Exactly, it is so deeply personal and devastating I could never go there unless the person themselves brought it up and even then I would tread lightly . 

[rainbowsandroses]

5 hours ago, michigannaturegirl said:

The thing is his case is plastered all online on a legal website...

He was never charged with assault.

^^What was he charged with then?   And what website was his case plastered on? 

Thing is, in a family court case, sexual abuse cases involving children are typically filed "under seal" meaning NOT public record.   This is to protect the child.

So I'm curious about this "legal website" you refer to.   

Also if his parental rights were terminated, how is it they have a good relationship now?   Do they see each other?  Despite court order not to? 

Something doesn't sound quite right, hoping you will return and clarify. 

In any event, agree with others, do not ask the daughter anything and dump him.

 

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, rainbowsandroses said:

^^What was he charged with then?   And what website was his case plastered on? 

Thing is, in a family court case, sexual abuse cases involving children are typically filed "under seal" meaning NOT public record.   This is to protect the child.

So I'm curious about this "legal website" you refer to.   

Also if his parental rights were terminated, how is it they have a good relationship now?   Do they see each other?  Despite court order not to? 

Something doesn't sound quite right, hoping you will return and clarify. 

In any event, agree with others, do not ask the daughter anything and dump him.

 

I agree the court case against my family member was not made public to hide my identity and  protect me as a child . 

[Starlight925]

Be Done.  Now.  

[tattoobunnie]

He is on the sex offender registry for a reason. They thoroughly investigate. It creeps me out you would think it's okay to ask a young girl if dad sexually abused her.  All convicted felons are also public information.

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, michigannaturegirl said:

His termination of parental rights is on justia.law and a few other websites but the minors name is private, but his name is not. He tried to appeal the termination of parental rights but it was denied, so it shows his appeal and the graphic details of what she accused him of. He suggested that I talk to his daughter, and said she would tell me it was a big misunderstanding but the case online describing what he did is a little too much. His child is almost an adult now and they are reunited.

I would end all contact with him and find a way to notify the child care places. Please absolutely do not speak to anyone in his family  not his daughter not anyone at all - you are just someone he was dating and did business with -stay in your lane and stay away and do not refer him to any other jobs either. He's just some guy you met recently - move on. 

[naturegirl702]

I really dont want to talk to his child or pressure her, he suggested that, I think i'll just part ways with him. This is too much and he's not on the sexual registry, has never been charged, so that made me think, maybe he might be innocent, never dealt with this before.

[Seraphim]

Nope, don’t contact his daughter . None of all that needs your involvement just leave and inform people with minors. 

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, michigannaturegirl said:

I really dont want to talk to his child or pressure her, he suggested that, I think i'll just part ways with him. This is too much and he's not on the sexual registry, has never been charged, so that made me think, maybe he might be innocent, never dealt with this before.

Of course you haven't dealt with this before -thank goodness most people have not. He might be innocent but risk vs. benefit -he is just some guy you're dating and you're a mom and a woman who needs to protect herself and her child.  There is a low chance he is completely innocent and his story about getting drunk etc even if true also is not putting him in any good light. 

[DarkCh0c0]

Okay, so you can't believe what you read online? You can't believe actual court ruling?

He is a disgusting man to even claim his 12 yo daughter has lied!!

His charm must be too good for you to believe him, right?

I'm sorry, but how naive and desperate are you? 😬

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, michigannaturegirl said:

His daughter is almost grown now and he tried to appeal the case and it was denied. It's listed on justia.law and similar sites. The child's name is private but his is not.

Who cares if you're going to part ways? Sorry I didn't realize you were responding to someone else.  

[DarkCh0c0]

9 hours ago, michigannaturegirl said:

He said he mistaken her for someone else and was drunk, it was very graphic reading the details I can't mention here and it says he was in sleeping in the bed with her every night,

Seriously?

"Mistaken"? Mistaken his child for what? Another child? And sleeping with her inappropriately over and over again? Mistakenly?

Yeah right. What a load of horse manure he is feeding you.

OP, ofc he'd going to say he's not guilty. No sane woman would date him otherwise, and he knows this!

[waffle]

I met a guy like this (IRL, not online) and he volunteered the info that he was convicted of child abuse.  He had all sorts of excuses too but I felt nauseous.  I instantly could not have been less interested.  The charges were not sexual in nature but that was still a no-go for me under any circumstances.

[mylolita]

Personally, he shouldn’t even be walking this green earth in my opinion. 
 

After hearing this information - why would you even debate the ins and outs?

 

Tell everyone around you to beware of him and also the parents of the minors you recommended him too. He shouldn’t be walking free if I had my way but because he is, use your judgement and common sense and as a mother to a daughter yourself!!!

 

Never introduce your children to boyfriends you haven’t known for along long time. Never leave them alone with them either, be there at all times. 

[rainbowsandroses]

A judge cannot terminate a father's parental rights for no reason. Or hearsay. 

There's a hearing, evidence/proof is presented and the judge makes his decision based on facts presented.

Someone can't just go to court and make shyt up.  

As I said, something sounds very off about this, and I'm still curious how you discovered all the details.

Such cases are not public record nor publicly posted on any website as fact.  Again it's to protect the child, there are laws. 

I'm glad you've decided to walk away. 

 

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, rainbowsandroses said:

A judge cannot terminate a father's parental rights for no reason. Or hearsay. 

There's a hearing, evidence/proof is presented and the judge makes his decision based on facts presented.

Someone can't just go to court and make shyt up.  

As I said, something sounds very off about this, and I'm still curious how you discovered all the details.

Such cases are not public record nor publicly posted on any website as fact.  Again it's to protect the child, there are laws. 

I'm glad you've decided to walk away. 

 

I agree, even working with CAS years ago it took YEARS for them to take away parental rights. 
 

My uncle tried to use the BS drunk excuse ….. 🤮

[smackie9]

See if he's a registered sex offender. 

[graphicdesigner]

OMG please walk away from this creep! I wouldn't believe a word he says. Especially because you have a daughter, keep him away from her and get out of this FAST!