Am I over reacting, or should he be allowed to talk to his ex.

[yogacat]

On 7/3/2024 at 11:35 AM, RobustMouse said:

In all honesty, I do not know if this is a 'hes my friend and I want to drunk call him at 2am' or if its 'do you still want me?' I will talk to him tonight.

I honestly wish I had never asked him to be mine. In the future. I will make sure to ask anyone I date if he is still talkking to an ex even if its platonic.

What do you mean you asked him to be yours? Did he not want to be with you without asking him?

[ShySoul]

On 7/3/2024 at 9:53 AM, RobustMouse said:

We've been friends over a year, and have been telling eachother we love eachother for months now. Platonically. Once we got together, it just stayed.

When I was over there last, he put his phone down, shut it off, and was with me and only me

A person is who they have been the whole time you have known them. You've known him for a year. How has he treated you in that time? Has he been there for you? Supported and cared for you? Shown you love, even if it was platonic? He's shown you that he is willing to shut everything off, forget the world just to spend time with you. If he has been treating you well all this time, odds are talking to one person isn't going to change that.

On 7/3/2024 at 9:53 AM, RobustMouse said:

I am still angry that he thinks its ok for her to call him. I don't like that he said "I can't control her." 

He can't control her. You can't control him by telling him who he can or can't talk to. No one should be trying to control anyone.

We are all individuals with rights and freedoms of our own. We should be allowed to talk to whomever we want.

Part of a relationship is trusting the other person. With anyone you are with you will need to be able to trust their judgement. You have to believe that when he says he loves you, he means it. Everythng else is your own insecurities. Unless you have proof of something inappropriate, there is no basis to be upset with him.

[ShySoul]

On 7/5/2024 at 10:02 AM, graphicdesigner said:

What exactly does he mean by that? Is he a missioner? I don't get this feeling of "wanting to be there for all people" statement. Is that his way of not blocking/deleting her contact info?

Wanting to there for people means just that, you want to be there for people. If someone is in need of help and you can provide it, you do so. It means that you find a way to stay friends with someone and be there for them. I imagine it's the reason we are all posting on this site to begin with, because we want to be there for people in need.

I've said for years something similar, that the one thing I want most in life is to help people. I consider it my mission to be there for people, anyone I'm able to be there for. There is no ulterior motives, no hidden agendas. If someone I knew in the past - a friend, an ex, whomever - needed my help, I would do everything I could to help. 

That he wants to be there for people should, in my opinion, be celebrated. Far to many people don't have that sense of commitment to their fellow men and women.