We had sex but..

[mky]

Hey, I’m mikey i’m 19. I met this girl recently and we clicked automatically one night things were getting heated and we had sex mind you she was the one who brought it up

This morning she was sending me pictures and voice messages and saying she can’t wait to see me again, I got out of the shower and showed her something in exchange and she complimented it but then started getting weird with her replies as if she was uncomfortable 

Fast forward to about a hour ago she said she didn’t want anything with me right now and it was a in the moment thing that we did anything, And I am not sure what to do she said she loved me and we weren’t drunk or high or anything so I just don’t know.

 

What should I do??

[LotusBlack]

All you can do is accept her boundaries. She has said doesn’t want anything right now, so you’re going to have to take her word for it. 

If you are interested in her, you can say that you understand what she’s saying and that if she changes her mind then she’s welcome to get in touch.

Unless she tells you why she went cold suddenly, you’ll never know. It could be something as simple as her getting the “ick” over a word, an image, whatever. It doesn’t always take much or it can be something most people wouldn’t care about; who knows?! But, what you do know for certain is she has said she doesn’t want anything. All you can do is respect that and let her know you’re open to her changing her mind down the track if you’re both still single at that time and interested in pursuing something.

[poorlittlefish]

1 hour ago, mky said:

Hey, I’m mikey i’m 19. I met this girl recently and we clicked automatically one night things were getting heated and we had sex mind you she was the one who brought it up

This morning she was sending me pictures and voice messages and saying she can’t wait to see me again, I got out of the shower and showed her something in exchange and she complimented it but then started getting weird with her replies as if she was uncomfortable 

Fast forward to about a hour ago she said she didn’t want anything with me right now and it was a in the moment thing that we did anything, And I am not sure what to do she said she loved me and we weren’t drunk or high or anything so I just don’t know.

 

What should I do??

She told you she loves you when she barely knows you, slept with you, sent explicit photos then wants nothing more to do with you when you do the same? I hate to say it, but it sounds like you've been played. 

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, mky said:

And I am not sure what to do she said she loved me and we weren’t drunk or high or anything so I just don’t know.

That should be your red flag. People who are every volatile with their emotions, will not be able to hold their emotions in check. Meaning, one time they will love you, than you would do something they dont like ans they will hate you, than they would love you again after you do something good etc. That is the thing with emotional unstability, its unstable to the point you would never know what you will get.

That woman isnt really for something other than just sex. As she is emotionally immature for more. So, I say that she did you a favor. Chalk it up as just sex and move on.

[shouldhavelearned]

Maybe you should share what it is that you showed her....

[yogacat]

57 minutes ago, shouldhavelearned said:

Maybe you should share what it is that you showed her....

I was wondering same.

[Coily]

View this as a huge red flag. She's not mature enough or worth it to get anymore invested. Sorry.

Guessing you sent her a *** pic, some women are weird about seeing it, even when they are spamming you with nudes of their own. If you get into that situation again, probably best to ask, rather than just reply.

Overall; I think this is a good,but hard lesson in dating. Don't stick it in crazy. But more importantly, a slow roll into sexual intimacy is better.

 

[yogacat]

He didn't share the type of pictures she sent. It could have been her dog eating from her hand at a bbq for all we know.

OP, what type of pictures did she send you? What did you show her afterwards?

Even if this was a random hook-up, the girl felt uncomfortable afterwards.  

That doesn't mean she had a bad time or that she regrets the experience, but something made her feel awkward and she is allowed to change her mind, especially considering that she didn't even know you before that night. 

People get caught up in the heat of the moment all the time, but that doesn't mean they actually want to pursue a relationship or more sex. 

It may have been a situation where she was infatuated with the idea of having a "one night stand," but when reality set in, she realized she wasn't ready for that type of situation.

[TeeDee]

8 hours ago, mky said:

What should I do??

Leave her alone.  

Alas this is not the only time this will happen to you.  You missed a huge red flag:  people who say "I love you" too soon.   They tend not to know what love is but throw that phrase around because they want to be caught up in a romance novel or movie, not because they generally feel the emotion or even understand it. 

[rainbowsandroses]

2 hours ago, Coily said:

Guessing you sent her a *** pic..

Although we can't say for sure, it's a decent guess given he took the pic immediately after getting out of shower and she complimented him, followed by a dump.

OP, can you return and clarify?  What types of pics was she sending?  There's a lot missing if we're to advise properly.

Without that, all I'll say are some women can be extremely fickle (especially in beginning stages) and can change their minds on a dime.  Especially if you met on an app. 

Sometimes for no reason at all. 

I'm sorry it didn't go your way. 

[catfeeder]

She didn’t like your D pic.

[smackie9]

You killed the romance by making it cheap and trashy. 

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Although we can't say for sure, it's a decent guess given he took the pic immediately after getting out of shower and she complimented him, followed by a dump.

OP, can you return and clarify?  What types of pics was she sending?  There's a lot missing if we're to advise properly.

Without that, all I'll say are some women can be extremely fickle (especially in beginning stages) and can change their minds on a dime.  Especially if you met on an app. 

Sometimes for no reason at all. 

I'm sorry it didn't go your way. 

I wouldn't assume it's fickle.  When two strangers meet or are nearly strangers  there is no mind to  change -it's often about what's going on in the moment.  Sexual chemistry and choosing to give into it with a stranger doesn't establish a mind that is then changed - it simply can be that the chemistry that the person felt either faded or it wasn't important enough to the person to pursue another sexual interaction especially in the light of day.

[rainbowsandroses]

14 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I wouldn't assume it's fickle. 

To clarify I wasn't.  It's a possibility just like everything else posted is a possibility. 

Which is why I phrased it as "some women can be fickle" it's definitely not a given. 

Again, only a possibility, one of many which only SHE knows for certain. 

 

[Batya33]

Just now, rainbowsandroses said:

To clarify I wasn't.  It's a possibility just like everything else posted is a possibility. 

Which is why I phrased it as "some women can be fickle" it's definitely not a given. 

Again, only a possibility, one of many which only SHE knows for certain. 

 

I don't typically give input where everything is a possibility because to me that's not a helpful contribution on my part.  I do see where "anything is possible" is helpful when a person is overthinking. 

I knew you did not mean it as a given.  I don't think it's fickle because to me fickle means she changed her mind on a whim.  I don't think she had a mindset to begin with.  Which I think is typical when people have sex right away when they know their pairs of socks better than the person they are having sex with.  It's simply my opinion.  Pretty words about love etc should be seen as words only at that level of interaction.  So if the next day she goes MIA that's not a change of heart -there was no heart to begin with.  There was sexual desire primarily and knowledge that she wanted to have sex.  Little to no knowledge of this person she just met.  To me those are close to facts - with rare exception.  

[Capricorn3]

I'm interested in exactly what kind of pictures she sent and exactly what picture you sent her.

[Lambert]

I would meet someone else.  She's got her... whatever her situation is.   lol. 

What do you think you should do?

I hope you come back and talk to the people that want to help. 

[shouldhavelearned]

19 and coming here for advice. 

 

Should keep it is pants.

 

Hopefully they didn't trade nudes.

[graphicdesigner]

I'll be honest, if he sent a *** pic, that would be a HUGE turn off for me. Regardless of whether I slept with him or not, that's not something I want on my phone, or want to see. I keep it in the bedroom.

[Coily]

2 hours ago, graphicdesigner said:

I'll be honest, if he sent a *** pic, that would be a HUGE turn off for me. Regardless of whether I slept with him or not, that's not something I want on my phone, or want to see. I keep it in the bedroom.

The question would be, if you were sending a guy nudes and he replied in kind, would it be the same reaction?

For some still a turn off, others not. This should be about the OP learning how to read this, not just our foibles.

[Capricorn3]

2 hours ago, Coily said:

The question would be, if you were sending a guy nudes and he replied in kind, would it be the same reaction?

At this point none of us know if she actually sent nude pictures.  OP just says she was sending pictures, who knows what they were.  We can't just assume it's a fact that it was nude pics. Hopefully the OP comes back and can clarify this for all of us.