Bora Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I stopped being friend with my crush.But we're in the same school and class and he sit behind me.We don't talk anymore each other.But I think I still have feelings for him and I really wanna be friends with him so bad again.But I can't cuz I'm the one who said to end our friendship and I didn't even listen him and blocked him in text app.So what can I do?I'm regretting a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, Octo1757 said: Tell him. That’s all I can say. There’s nothing else you can do. He will either forgive you or not. But there isn’t anything else you can do. What should I tell him?And I can't even face to him cuz I'm so uncomfortable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 Just now, Octo1757 said: Why did you stop being friends with him? Cuz he kept giving me mix emotions and made me misunderstand that he liked me.That's why I even confessed my feelings but it was useless.And I was so tired of him and hated him and stop being friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, Octo1757 said: If he doesn’t like you then why do you want him back? It also seems like a bit of an overreaction to stop being friends with him just because he didn’t like you. I’m not trying to be mean or not understanding. I’m just trying to figure things out. Actually I tried my best as much as I can.I tried to avoid him and hate him and tried not to talk him at school but sometimes good memories and my misunderstandings appear again.i guess I still like him.But I know the fact that he doesn't like me at all.That's the problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, Octo1757 said: Well it sounds like you know the truth. He doesn’t like you. Trust me I’ve had a situation where I was that guy, and I’m really sorry to say, there’s little you can do to change his mind. You can ask for his forgiveness if you still want to be friends, but it sounds like what you want is him to like you. So what I suggest is to try and work on yourself. Not saying you need fixing!!! I’m sure you’re an amazing person. I think you should try to work out or something like that. Try a new hobby. Something that will make you more attractive for the next guy that hopefully sees your worth and wants to be with you. I’m really sorry. I hope I helped you, but I’m still young too so I’m not an expert. Thanks but it won't work to give up him for now.I tried a lot to give up for 3 months until now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, Octo1757 said: I had an relationship that lasted for 6 months where I was lied to the entire time about her feelings for me. I understand the feeling of giving so much of yourself and receiving nothing in return. You can try him again, but to be honest, you’ll most likely come off as desperate, and that is the last thing you want. You want him to chase you. Not the other way around. Trust me when I say chasing him isn’t going to make him like you. I'm thinking like why am I being such a loser.Why did I being stop friends with him even I won't handle it well and want him back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 Just now, Octo1757 said: You’re not a loser. You just have to accept that he doesn’t like you. I know it’s hard. It really is. But you’ve already tried. Trying again might even be annoying to him. You should just ask for his forgiveness for your actions in a calm manner and then focus on your own life. It’s easy to get caught up in trying to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. Focus on your interests and bettering yourself. I promise it helps. Oh Thanks so much.It's so nice to talk with u and very comfortable.Btw u said u still young and me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 Just now, Octo1757 said: Yes I’m a teenager also going through some rough times relationship wise. I’m glad I could help, and I’m so sorry about this whole thing for you. I really am. My prayers are with you. Oh I'm also a teenager.So u can ask me ur problems.I can give u a bit of advice even tho I don't understand myself and keep messing up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, Octo1757 said: No you don’t. You seem really nice. My problems are not something you need to hear though. Not your fault I just don’t want to load them on you. Oh I already read ur latest post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 1 hour ago, Octo1757 said: You’re not a loser. You just have to accept that he doesn’t like you. I know it’s hard. It really is. But you’ve already tried. Trying again might even be annoying to him. You should just ask for his forgiveness for your actions in a calm manner and then focus on your own life. It’s easy to get caught up in trying to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. Focus on your interests and bettering yourself. I promise it helps. Looks like someone already beat me to my response. Good answer Octo! Bora, I think because you're young you are experiencing a wider swing in your emotions. On one side you really like him and desparately want him to return those feelings. So you keep wanting to go back to him and try again. On the other hand, knowing he doesn't have those feelings is painful, so you run as far as you can to avoid dealing with it. Either you have the relationship you want, or you can't be friends at all. It's all or nothing. Problem is neither way works out for you. What you'll eventually figure out is how to stay in the middle. You'll learn to control your emotions instead of being swayed by them. There is a way to be friends with a crush, or at least social to the point where it's not completely uncomfortable. Neither of you needs to hate the other. He can just be another person in your class who you might speak with occassionally. If you feel bad for how you treated him, just say you are sorry and ask if you're cool again, can still be friends. Then focus on you and being happy doing what you love to do. Let things with him happen naturally, however it happens. You can't make him feel something if he doesn't, so try not to get wrapped up in the thought of changing his mind. Hang in there pal, it gets easier with time. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elite Romancer Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 You need to understand the only person who is going to protect your heart from being broken and stomped on is yourself. The only person who is going to prevent your heart from feeling sad, depressed and unliked is yourself. No one is going to prevent your heart from feeling terrible about someone not liking you besides, YOURSELF! So if you decide to forget about the pain of being friends with someone that played with your emotions and doesn't view you as girlfriend material, then it's on you. You called the friendship off because you know being around him will only hurt you even further, now you're missing him and thinking to forget about protecting your heart again? Don't do this. Stick to your guns and do what is in the best interest in protecting yourself so that you don't become more depressed and sad being around someone that doesnt find good enough. Instead focus on yourself, hangout with friends, do some new hobbies and if you need to... spend time with other boys that actually like you. Hope this makes sense. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 18 minutes ago, Elite Romancer said: You need to understand the only person who is going to protect your heart from being broken and stomped on is yourself. The only person who is going to prevent your heart from feeling sad, depressed and unliked is yourself. No one is going to prevent your heart from feeling terrible about someone not liking you besides, YOURSELF! So if you decide to forget about the pain of being friends with someone that played with your emotions and doesn't view you as girlfriend material, then it's on you. You called the friendship off because you know being around him will only hurt you even further, now you're missing him and thinking to forget about protecting your heart again? Don't do this. Stick to your guns and do what is in the best interest in protecting yourself so that you don't become more depressed and sad being around someone that doesnt find good enough. Instead focus on yourself, hangout with friends, do some new hobbies and if you need to... spend time with other boys that actually like you. Hope this makes sense. Then should I keep avoiding and no talking with him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 6 hours ago, Bora said: Then should I keep avoiding and no talking with him? Also depends on what you emotionally feel you can handle. If a person intentionally lies and manipulates you, then they aren't worth your time and it's best to avoid. If you feel that being around them is too painful and will hurt you more, then be polite when necessary but keep away if possible. On the other hand, if it was innocent mistakes or misunderstandings, then see if you can gradually start talking again. If you feel comfortable around him and can manage to be friends without it overwhelming you, then why not talk to him? Just make sure whatever you decide is something you are okay with. Don't do something if you don't feel you are ready for it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 23 Author Share Posted June 23 Should I send friend request to him in text app again at least?What if he won't accept? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 2 minutes ago, Bora said: Should I send friend request to him in text app again at least?What if he won't accept? No I would do that only after you two are talking again in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 23 Author Share Posted June 23 3 minutes ago, Batya33 said: No I would do that only after you two are talking again in person. That won't be impossible for now.Cuz he'll talk to me first,if he wanna be friends with me.But he didn't so I don't know what to do!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 On 6/21/2024 at 1:17 PM, Bora said: I stopped being friend with my crush.But we're in the same school and class and he sit behind me.We don't talk anymore each other.But I think I still have feelings for him and I really wanna be friends with him so bad again.But I can't cuz I'm the one who said to end our friendship and I didn't even listen him and blocked him in text app.So what can I do?I'm regretting a lot. I am sure it must be hard for you but remember ---> you made the decision for a reason. SELF-PRESERVATION. You could explain why you made the decision to end the friendship next time you run into him. But don't apologize for putting yourself first. Just tell him the reason you needed to end the friendship. But do not expect any reaction. It's up to him if he wants to become friends again or not. I would try to let it go though, you ended the friendship because it was difficult for you if I'm correct, and you have to stick to that reason especially when you're still crushing on this guy. Because once you start talking to him and see him laughing and joking and you start laughing and joking too - it could become confusing and hurtful for you again. Remember that self-preservation is key and that there is always a good reason for your actions, even if you don't see them yet. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 23 Author Share Posted June 23 18 minutes ago, yogacat said: I am sure it must be hard for you but remember ---> you made the decision for a reason. SELF-PRESERVATION. You could explain why you made the decision to end the friendship next time you run into him. But don't apologize for putting yourself first. Just tell him the reason you needed to end the friendship. But do not expect any reaction. It's up to him if he wants to become friends again or not. I would try to let it go though, you ended the friendship because it was difficult for you if I'm correct, and you have to stick to that reason especially when you're still crushing on this guy. Because once you start talking to him and see him laughing and joking and you start laughing and joking too - it could become confusing and hurtful for you again. Remember that self-preservation is key and that there is always a good reason for your actions, even if you don't see them yet. Yeah I think I don't have no more chances with him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 2 hours ago, Bora said: Yeah I think I don't have no more chances with him That's possible. I think you'll have to initiate conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 5 hours ago, Bora said: Yeah I think I don't have no more chances with him Not romantically. He's not interested. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 If you send the request you'll just end up driving yourself crazy wondering when or if he will accept. Sometimes it's just better to do things in person. Only talk if you feel you are ready for it. Top priority is being okay with yourself and healing. If you aren't ready or you feel it would hurt you more, you don't have to say anything. He'll still be around down the road whenever you decide the time is right to talk to him again. There's no rush, so take as much time as you need. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bora Posted June 24 Author Share Posted June 24 Then why didn't he talk to me first and avoid me as well?Could it be cuz he 's so uncomfortable with me cuz I even confessed my feelings to him??????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 24 Share Posted June 24 4 hours ago, Bora said: Then why didn't he talk to me first and avoid me as well?Could it be cuz he 's so uncomfortable with me cuz I even confessed my feelings to him??????? I think you're creating too much drama in your head. In general -people move towards pleasure and away from pain. Assume he is not talking to you because ---- he does not wish to. For whatever reason. In general feelings don't need to be confessed -two people who enjoy each other's company don't need to talk about feelings much at all -it's obvious in how they hang out and laugh and share stuff. People who want to date each other show romantic feelings by asking the person out on a date and going on a date or by flirting first, making good eye contact then planning one on one time together. It's really that basic. It doesn't matter who speaks first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elite Romancer Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 On 6/22/2024 at 6:59 PM, Bora said: Then should I keep avoiding and no talking with him? Life is more peaceful and easier if you don't have friends of the opposite gender. If i were you i'd not be friends with him, but it's your life. Keep opposite genders as aqquaintances Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 On 6/23/2024 at 11:32 PM, Bora said: Then why didn't he talk to me first and avoid me as well?Could it be cuz he 's so uncomfortable with me cuz I even confessed my feelings to him??????? Don't over think it. There could be any number of reasons he didn't speak to you and it doesn't have to be something huge or bad. Sometimes people just spend time apart focused on their own things. Doesn't mean they are mad at each other or hate each other. You've built up this huge scenario in your head and its causing you to worry and panic over everything. Most things work best when you follow the KISS philosophy - Keep It Simple and Stupid. The simplest explanation is often the right one so no need to complicate things. It also helps to manage your stress and anxiety. He didn't have the same feelings you did, you spent some time apart. That's all. He doesn't dislike you. He would probably be fine talking and being friends with you. Instead of replying this over and over in your mind and getting stuck with the same feelings and fears, set it aside and focus on something else, something that makes you feel good. Time will do its job and you'll one day be okay with him and can talk without all these worries messing with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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