Confused!

[speak]

 

Recently, I started having a friendlier exchange with a girl I went to high school with on FB. I really just liked her posts more and started commenting on them. For no other reason than I liked the content. Then I started messaging her different posts. And it went until we exchanged numbers. 

 

I confessed I liked her but she stated she did have a girlfriend. Even though her profile page said “single.” So, we started texting. And we text every day. And there have been times where I’ve said “oh, I shouldn’t be texting. And I’m sorry.” But she says, “No. you are fine.” She says the relationship she has with her current GF is the oddest one she’s had. They see each other once a week, sleep in bed together and just relax. But they rarely have sex. She texts me everyday. She texts me good morning. She keeps conversation going on with me throughout the day. She tells me goodnight. 

 

She’s told her mom about me and says her mom views my profile pic and asks about me a lot. So I’m just confused. I mean I’ve never been interested in the same sex until now. What’s going on? 

 

[ShySoul]

Which part is confusing you? Is it that you're interested in her? People discover their sexuality at different times. You probably just hadn't met the right person to draw those feelings out of you. It's the same as any other relationship, just this time the other person happens to be the same sex. Do you still get goosebumps thinking of them? Excited at the thought of being near them? Can't get them out of your head and can't wait until your together? Do you feel a deep connection? Attracted to them physically and emotionally? Then it's a crush Simple as that.

On her end, relatioships take all kinds of forms. Some are more casual. With some, the couple are jumping into sex all the time. With others, it's more about the closeness and emotional connection. They might rarely have sex. Some people are asexual and don't get the same enjoyment out of it. Every couple will have a different relationship unique to them. If this relationship is what they have found to work for them, then that's their relationship. 

If she is in a relationship then she needs to work that out first before anything could happen with the two of you. Seems like she might have feelings for you. If you think you're close enough, ask her whats going on. She's the only one who knows how she feels. If she does like you, then she needs to decide who she wants to be with, the girlfriend or you. Whatever her feelings, probably a good idea to clear the air and get it straight where everyone stands.

[speak]

35 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

Which part is confusing you? Is it that you're interested in her? People discover their sexuality at different times. You probably just hadn't met the right person to draw those feelings out of you. It's the same as any other relationship, just this time the other person happens to be the same sex. Do you still get goosebumps thinking of them? Excited at the thought of being near them? Can't get them out of your head and can't wait until your together? Do you feel a deep connection? Attracted to them physically and emotionally? Then it's a crush Simple as that.

On her end, relatioships take all kinds of forms. Some are more casual. With some, the couple are jumping into sex all the time. With others, it's more about the closeness and emotional connection. They might rarely have sex. Some people are asexual and don't get the same enjoyment out of it. Every couple will have a different relationship unique to them. If this relationship is what they have found to work for them, then that's their relationship. 

If she is in a relationship then she needs to work that out first before anything could happen with the two of you. Seems like she might have feelings for you. If you think you're close enough, ask her whats going on. She's the only one who knows how she feels. If she does like you, then she needs to decide who she wants to be with, the girlfriend or you. Whatever her feelings, probably a good idea to clear the air and get it straight where everyone stands.

I’m confused as to why she is treating me so special. Checks on me daily. Says sweet things to me always. But still has a gf. Apparently it’s another woman she’s dated on and off for a few years between other relationships. She did mention she’s not entirely happy. So why not just leave?

[Batya33]

6 hours ago, speak said:

I’m confused as to why she is treating me so special. Checks on me daily. Says sweet things to me always. But still has a gf. Apparently it’s another woman she’s dated on and off for a few years between other relationships. She did mention she’s not entirely happy. So why not just leave?

Because leaving is hard and she'd rather cross lines than put in the effort to leave -also it's safer -she can flirt with you without leading you on since you know she's in a relationship of sorts.

[ShySoul]

23 hours ago, speak said:

I’m confused as to why she is treating me so special. Checks on me daily. Says sweet things to me always. But still has a gf. Apparently it’s another woman she’s dated on and off for a few years between other relationships. She did mention she’s not entirely happy. So why not just leave?

As Batya said, leaving is hard. Sounds like the girlfriend is a safe zone, someone she can fall back on time and time again. There is a long history there. When you do care for someone and have that kind of past, it's not easy to just break away. Even if she wants to, there's got to be questions in there minds that it's temporary again and will get back together in the future. They don't want to let go completely and lose what happiness they do find in each other. But on the other hand, she likes you and wonders if maybe there is more there that will make her happier. So she dips her toes into something with you will still staying where she is at. It's playing both sides of the fence. She can feel safer because she doesn't have to full commit to either and risk losing one of you.

The question for you is, what do you want? If you want something with her, then call her on this. It's not fair that you are left hanging. She needs to decide if she wants to stay with the girlfriend or be free to pursue something else. She should be with someone she can fully be happy with. And you should be with someone who is free to give you their undivided attention. 

[yogacat]

I wouldn't take her telling her Mom about you as anything special, that phrase 'my mom loves you' is often used by friends, acquaintances, and family members.

I went on a date with a man that I told afterwards I wasn't romantically interested but I've mentioned him to my parents because I consider him a current friend and I've know him for a few years.

Also, be careful. It sounds like you are interested in her, but she's already told you she has a girlfriend. It doesn't matter if she is in a strange relationship with her, they are still together and you could end up stepping on toes.