MissCanuck Posted June 19 Share Posted June 19 6 hours ago, emily02 said: I never intended - or gave any impression that - I wanted to start a romance with him Actually, you did. Why do you think nearly everyone here is saying the same thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emily02 Posted June 19 Author Share Posted June 19 16 hours ago, MissCanuck said: Actually, you did. Why do you think nearly everyone here is saying the same thing? I meant I haven't said or done anything in real life that suggested I wanted any kind of romance with him. I don't. I just liked his attention. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaunty Posted June 19 Share Posted June 19 Just now, emily02 said: I meant I haven't said or done anything in real life that suggested I wanted any kind of romance with him. I don't. I just liked his attention. Ok. You probably could figure out on your own that that particular type of attention from a married man might be something you ought not cultivate. Why do you care that he's not paying attention to you anymore, since you weren't hoping for it to go anywhere? I understand that it felt flattering but ... he's married. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 19 Share Posted June 19 11 minutes ago, emily02 said: I meant I haven't said or done anything in real life that suggested I wanted any kind of romance with him. I don't. I just liked his attention. Yes and he likely could tell that which is fine except it sounds like you liked the attention to your looks and body. Since you and he have a business relationship and since he is married it's ok to feel flattered but you are taking it further in your mind now that he has -probably wisely -chosen to let up on that sort of attention. Also might be time to consider whether you are feeling needy for male attention -and perhaps find some appropriate ways to meet people and -hopefully -someone who is single and available and who you'd like to get to know. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherylyn Posted June 19 Share Posted June 19 15 minutes ago, emily02 said: I meant I haven't said or done anything in real life that suggested I wanted any kind of romance with him. I don't. I just liked his attention. You were being too forward and too chatty which is abnormal. I've hired contractors to repair my house. Whether they're married or unmarried, it's a polite business arrangement; nothing more nor less. Any dialogue is extremely brief, polite and there is nothing else to it. It's called having good manners and exercising discretion. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 1 hour ago, emily02 said: I meant I haven't said or done anything in real life that suggested I wanted any kind of romance with him. I don't. I just liked his attention. Well, you did kind of kudos him into commenting on your existence ("is it really that strong?," with a smirk...). You did not ask him what the bleach would dilute to, after all, you would've asked "how much water should I use for one capful of bleach," if you were merely looking for knowledge. That just leaves the windows of opportunity open for more, however innocently it initially started or however small the exchanges would inversely naturally be. I mean he clearly accept your advances. I wouldn't be surprised if there's something in the way he does things - being a landlord - giving him some way he's found to access your private life. It's quite interesting really given it's precarious. I'd put a stop to that kind of thing, and be a bit cautious. Bigger picture, what is it about getting a married 50 year old's attention that satisfies you? Is it worth the trouble? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 9 hours ago, emily02 said: I meant I haven't said or done anything in real life that suggested I wanted any kind of romance with him. Yes, you have. You have been engaging with him beyond the typical boundaries between a landlord and tenant. He knows you like the attention. Anyway, it needs to stop. He is married so you should conduct yourself accordingly and not worry why he isn't giving you the same attention anymore. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graphicdesigner Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 Definitely the wife, and she obviously felt jealous when he was standing there for several minutes just staring at you. That's creepy and so disrespectful of him to do that in front of her. I would be mad, too, if I was his wife. His actions were inappropriate. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 1 hour ago, graphicdesigner said: Definitely the wife, and she obviously felt jealous when he was standing there for several minutes just staring at you. That's creepy and so disrespectful of him to do that in front of her. I would be mad, too, if I was his wife. His actions were inappropriate. Or if not jealous then simply disgusted. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emily02 Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 On 6/20/2024 at 12:02 AM, Cherylyn said: You were being too forward and too chatty which is abnormal. I've hired contractors to repair my house. Whether they're married or unmarried, it's a polite business arrangement; nothing more nor less. Any dialogue is extremely brief, polite and there is nothing else to it. It's called having good manners and exercising discretion. This guy starts up conversations and ask lots of questions though. I don\'t just initiate it. He doesn't behave like a 'strictly business' landlord....He chats and talks about his upbringing, where he's going on holiday, asks what I'm doing, asks what I want to do next in the future... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emily02 Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 On 6/20/2024 at 1:29 AM, yogacat said: Bigger picture, what is it about getting a married 50 year old's attention that satisfies you? Is it worth the trouble? I don't know...I think it was his flattering comments and him showing an interest in me, remembering things I said months ago....I was just impressed by it for some reason. Maybe I find guys of my own age immature and too absorbed in social media? I'm not quite sure to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 On 6/15/2024 at 4:34 PM, emily02 said: he told me that this bleach we use would burn through my dress...and he kept smiling...I asked, a bit puzzled, 'is it really that strong?', with a smirk, and he didn't say anything he just carried on grinning...Sometimes he stares at me quite intensely, and smiles, when I'm talking. It could just be a quirk of his? About a month ago, I bumped into him with his wife on the street; he smiled and me and asked me where I was off to; I told him the library.....he asked me what I was reading, and stared at my face really intensely for what must have been about two minutes.....he acted very surprised/interested in what I was saying ('oh my goodness, really, you're still studying that? What else is on the course these days?'). His wife started stroking his shoulder/arm, but he seemingly paid no attention and just carried on staring at me.. You say the guys your age are too immature, but then you overlook this guy being inappropriate in words and how he stares too long. Instead of being flattered, you should feel creeped out by someone who does this, and especially how he disrespects his wife, clearly shown in this quote. If that's the sort of guy who intrigues you, it might be why you've yet to be unsuccessful in love. Raise your standards and up your game of finding mature guys your age by perhaps attending activities you haven't tried yet. Perhaps volunteer work is where single guys with the maturity you're seeking will be found. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherylyn Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 4 hours ago, emily02 said: This guy starts up conversations and ask lots of questions though. I don\'t just initiate it. He doesn't behave like a 'strictly business' landlord....He chats and talks about his upbringing, where he's going on holiday, asks what I'm doing, asks what I want to do next in the future... Then you control the dynamic so it's cordial yet distant. If he initiates, then don't prolong the conversation. There is a way to excuse yourself and do something else so he can do his job, concentrate without distractions and leave. This is how it's generally done whenever a handyman, repairman, contractor and the like are providing a service for a homeowner or tenant. There is no chumminess involved. A lot of people are this way whether married or not. It's strictly a client / professional business arrangement. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaunty Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 DId you not get enough input on this question on the other forum where you posted the identical thread? I'm wondering what it is you're looking for that you have not discovered yet. Quit flirting with married men. Find some available guys to date and to get attention from, since that seems to be what you're after. And have a good time doing it. I promise, being in the middle of your married landlord and his wife will not be a good time at all. No amount of attention is worth the trouble you'd be in. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 14 hours ago, emily02 said: Maybe I find guys of my own age immature and too absorbed in social media? So an older man who toys with boundaries in his marriage is somehow better? Girl. You need to re-examine your standards. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now