A different topic..

[Kp90]

I’m not normally one to vent about stuff like this but I feel at wit ends at the moment. 

me and same sex partner have been together for years. A couple of years ago she had started making purchases on catalogs in my name which to cut a long story short has put me into debt with the company because of missed payments over the time. Obviously I had no control over these purchases been done but I did know about them after they arrived to house. There’s been some
argumenrs lately about this because my credit scores is put down so low and I’ve received several letters in the past months saying about payments not being paid. One I cannot afford to pay these and two I don’t feel I should have to when I never made them or consented to the purchases. The usual reasons for not paying them are usually along the lines of her having her own to pay etc etc but I can’t argue it enough that if you already have so many bills in your own name already then it’s not right to then go doing stuff in partners name especially as neither of us are even on high incomes. I feel like she doesn’t take any responsibility to her actions what so ever The company advised me to open a claim about it due to the fact there’s so many missed payments and also because they don’t think it’s right for my credit be lowered so much by it all when I’m not doing any of it. I don’t even know the account log ins! Am I in the wrong for opening the claim? I can’t see any unreasonable behaviour on my end ? I always say that if someone gave any damn to the person they’re with they’d never have gotten their partner into debt in the first place. Just feels I’m made out the one in the wrong always I’m just genuinely concerned.

[TeeDee]

Your partner is being financially unfaithful to you.  She is irresponsible.  Technically what she is doing is the crime of identity theft / financial fraud.  That is huge!    It would be relationship ending for me because I'd be getting cops involved & suing her to get paid back.  

I don't know the steps, but you better contact all the credit agencies & see if there are loans or other cards out there in your name.   Then there is a way to freeze your credit so nobody can do this again.  

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, Kp90 said:

Am I in the wrong for opening the claim? I can’t see any unreasonable behaviour on my end ?

At yours end no. But your partner far exceeded the boundaries of relationship. She should have at least asked you and it was not for you to find out after it was bought. Also, you even allowing that shows your poor boundaries. You should have cut that through at the beggining. Before her financially irresponsible behavior got you in debt.

[Cherylyn]

You partner is in the process of leading you into worsening financial ruin.  ☹️  Either she will cooperate to improve your credit score or she will continue being nonchalant about any spending decisions.  She needs her own credit or debit card under her name only.  Keep your purchasing identities separate.  Protect yourself always.  If she fails to comply,  it will only get worse.  Rethink if this relationship is worth damaging your financial standing.

[ShySoul]

You're not in the wrong. She is using your identiy to make personal purchases without telling you or paying you back. That's crossing a line. It's affecting you financially and creating a hole for you to climb out of that doesn't need to exist. 

Until and unless a partner demonstrates they can be trusted with financial responsibility, it's best to keep things separated. Have separate bank accounts, separate credit cards, etc. Agree to a split on basic costs, then each person takes care of themselves. 

File the claim and see what can be done about lessening the debt incurred. Then cut her off from being able to access any of your accounts. Change cards, login's, whatever you need to so she won't cause further damage. And while you're at it, reconsider how things are in the relationship. She's breached your privacy and trust.

[smackie9]

Take all that stuff she purchased..try to return them, if not, sell them on postmark, FB marketplace, amazon market place to recoup some of the money. Those items are not hers they are obviously your possessions because they were purchased under your name. I'm amusing they are expensive handbags, shoes, clothing. NP selling that stuff off especially if the tags are still on.

[catfeeder]

Aside from not understanding why you'd stay in this relationship, why haven't you frozen your credit?

[graphicdesigner]

Before you do anything, put a fraud alert on your social security number. This way, any time you or anybody else tries to open a credit card, get a loan, etc. in your name, a fraud alert will pop up and you would have to approve any of these credit checks on your social.

[Kp90]

I didn’t know about freezing bit? 
honestly I do wonder to all these comments when it comes to relationship.  There’s always some reason or excuse used and I guess I’ve argued it with her and it’s all then shoved under the carpet. I’m made then to look bad for being accused of not being loyal to her and in the wrong for doing the claim but it’s too much mentally to deal with receiving these letters about late or missed payments over and over  this isn’t the action I ever wanted to make but i feel so out of control with anything that’s done under my name. In partners eyes it’s not about a credit score being lowered or my name, but how she fees at being in trouble by them from me doing the claim 

[catfeeder]

3 hours ago, Kp90 said:

I didn’t know about freezing bit? 

Google "How to freeze your credit". Also, report the fraud to the cards she is using and cancel those cards.

How she feels about it is irrelevant given that she doesn't care one wit about how this impacts you.