Lexismith Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 So I hooked up with a ex situationship. Before we hooked up he kept asking if I’ve kissed anyone since us and if I’ve slept with anyone? I told him no and he kept telling me “I don’t believe you just tell me the truth. I kept telling him no I haven’t, yet he kept pressing me about it. I asked him if it’s because he’s worried about sexual diseases. He said no I just want to know. Then he ended it with saying I don’t believe you. After we got done hooking up he started texting me casually? I thought it was just a hook up like a one time thing. And that was going to be it ? What do y’all think of all this ? Link to comment
LootieTootie Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 If this is that same guy u wrote about last time? If yes, please come clean and be honest with yourself and us, what is your motive with this guy? 2 Link to comment
Lexismith Posted June 3 Author Share Posted June 3 11 minutes ago, LootieTootie said: If this is that same guy u wrote about last time? If yes, please come clean and be honest with yourself and us, what is your motive with this guy? No this is a different guy Link to comment
LootieTootie Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Can you provide more context about your background with this guy then? Did he ever mentioned wanting to be more than a fu(k buddy to you? Did he ever show that he wanted that? Did you ever tell him you wanted more? It's hard to really say without much info. Link to comment
Kwothe28 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Some people have an insane possessiveness about the things, including their partners or even ex ones. Just because he is your ex and just wants sex, doesnt mean he doesnt think you are "his property". Your ex has that kind of thinking. Where he doesnt want to get back together. But you cant fool around with other people even though you have no obligations toward him. Please dont confuse his possessiveness with him caring about you in any way or form other than having sex. 1 Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Some men have big egos and are immature. If he doesn't have any concern about STIs, then whether or not you have kissed anyone else is not his business. Please do not entertain that line of questioning, and avoid men who treat you like a liar. Next. 2 Link to comment
Voyatic Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 It sounds like there might be some lingering feelings or insecurities on his end, which could explain why he kept asking about your romantic encounters. Maybe he's trying to gauge where he stands with you or seeking reassurance. Either way, it's important to communicate openly about your boundaries and intentions moving forward. Link to comment
Lexismith Posted June 3 Author Share Posted June 3 2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said: Some people have an insane possessiveness about the things, including their partners or even ex ones. Just because he is your ex and just wants sex, doesnt mean he doesnt think you are "his property". Your ex has that kind of thinking. Where he doesnt want to get back together. But you cant fool around with other people even though you have no obligations toward him. Please dont confuse his possessiveness with him caring about you in any way or form other than having sex. He claimed he didn’t care what I did because I’m “free to do what I want” he said he was just curious….. Link to comment
Kwothe28 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 1 hour ago, Lexismith said: He claimed he didn’t care what I did because I’m “free to do what I want” he said he was just curious….. If he didnt care he wouldnt ask nore said how he doesnt believe you. I hate to imagine what would happen if you said you had somebody in meantime. He would probably get mad at you and call you names. Again, not something you should subject yourself. Link to comment
Lexismith Posted June 3 Author Share Posted June 3 34 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said: If he didnt care he wouldnt ask nore said how he doesnt believe you. I hate to imagine what would happen if you said you had somebody in meantime. He would probably get mad at you and call you names. Again, not something you should subject yourself. Also that night after we hooked up he told me he was going out and I was going out later that night to, because it was a Saturday night. At like 2am he texts me asking me where I went ? This was like 4 hours after we hooked up. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 2 hours ago, Lexismith said: He claimed he didn’t care what I did because I’m “free to do what I want” he said he was just curious….. So if he was just curious simply say that's not a reason for me to share that information with you. Then he can decide whether he still wants to have intercourse with your or not. In a situation where you are meeting up to have sex I wouldn't read into why someone says or asks something about you as his main focus or maybe sole focus was ejaculating inside of you. Since that apparently is fun for you then accept that the man you're going to have intercourse with might not have good communication or social skills despite the sex being good and hopefully fun! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 4 minutes ago, Lexismith said: Also that night after we hooked up he told me he was going out and I was going out later that night to, because it was a Saturday night. At like 2am he texts me asking me where I went ? This was like 4 hours after we hooked up. Why are you responding to texts from your sex partner at 2am unless it's to meet up again for sex? Link to comment
Lexismith Posted June 3 Author Share Posted June 3 35 minutes ago, Batya33 said: Why are you responding to texts from your sex partner at 2am unless it's to meet up again for sex? I didn’t respond to him at 2am I responded the next day Link to comment
Lexismith Posted June 3 Author Share Posted June 3 37 minutes ago, Batya33 said: So if he was just curious simply say that's not a reason for me to share that information with you. Then he can decide whether he still wants to have intercourse with your or not. In a situation where you are meeting up to have sex I wouldn't read into why someone says or asks something about you as his main focus or maybe sole focus was ejaculating inside of you. Since that apparently is fun for you then accept that the man you're going to have intercourse with might not have good communication or social skills despite the sex being good and hopefully fun! Exactly that’s why I was confused why he kept asking me that question and wouldn’t let it go ??? I didn’t ask him about hugs recent sexual encounters because I didn’t care plus it’s non of my business. I thought a hookup is just that. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 1 minute ago, Lexismith said: Exactly that’s why I was confused why he kept asking me that question and wouldn’t let it go ??? I didn’t ask him about hugs recent sexual encounters because I didn’t care plus it’s non of my business. I thought a hookup is just that. No need to be confused. Confused is too much work for a sex partner. And confused might lead to practical issues -like if it's confusing to share basic information imagine if your period is late. People are individuals. Watch Pretty Woman - old movie to you I guess. Julia Roberts plays an escort/prostitute and explains her particular rules and boundaries. When you meet up for sex you want to have sex. You are not concerned about your health to the extent of asking about potential STD exposure and you are not concerned about what woulld happen if you get pregnant -those are risks you have chosen to take. Other people are concerned. Other people get more out of a sexual act with conversation included and others don't want to kiss their sex partner. The only rules to me are- no forcing someone else to have sex, sharing if there is an STD and both people being honest that they are single. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 8 minutes ago, Lexismith said: I didn’t respond to him at 2am I responded the next day Good. I'd respond only if you're interested in setting up another time to have sex. Link to comment
rainbowsandroses Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Lexis, I don't think his obnoxious question hammering you about who you had sex with has anything to do with having "feelings" for you. It was his EGO at play here. A man who actually cared and had feelings for you would never hammer you about it in such an aggressive way. Not in my experience anyway or in anything I've read and understand about men... Either that or he was intentionally attempting to rile you up and create tension prior to sex so in his mind the sex would be hotter. Did it work? He's an egocentric jerk imo and not a man I would even want to be FWB with if I were into that. But if the sex is good and that's all you want, try to ignore his idiocy and carry on. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 10 hours ago, Lexismith said: he kept asking if I’ve kissed anyone since us and if I’ve slept with anyone? I told him no and he kept telling me “I don’t believe you just tell me the truth. I kept telling him no I haven’t, yet he kept pressing me about it. I asked him if it’s because he’s worried about sexual diseases. He said no I just want to know. Then he ended it with saying I don’t believe you. After we got done hooking up he started texting me casually? I thought it was just a hook up like a one time thing. And that was going to be it ? What do y’all think of all this ? Red flags all over the place. Why he's like this? because he still thinks he owns you and has control over you...he's insecure, fragile ego and immature. For someone who wants to get laid, you would think he would know better than to stir up $&^* over something that's none of his business. Hope you made him use a condom. 2 Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 I am curious why you are so interested in the meaning of his questions. In the end what you should be focusing on is that he called you a liar several times to your face. That is all you really need to know. Is this a man you want to share your body with? I am sure there are plenty of men that will treat you way better in this context. Lost 3 Link to comment
Jaunty Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 5 hours ago, Lexismith said: He claimed he didn’t care what I did because I’m “free to do what I want” he said he was just curious….. Why don't you believe him? It seems weird that you will come here to ask strangers who don't know either of you to ask why he would do a thing, when you can just ask him directly. Which you have and you got an answer. If you are wondering whether he's interested in you romantically, you will find out if he asks you out on dates, calls you or texts you and shows interest in your life aside from who you've had sex with, starts inviting you to events where his family and friends are, and asks you to be his girlfriend. Booty calls? Self explanatory. Link to comment
TeeDee Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 He wasn't "just curious." He also doesn't trust you. Neither of you are being honest here. You flit from situationship to situationship & back again without commitment. You either don't know what you want or you are afraid of it. You need to be honest with yourself & address that. He cares more than he wants to admit & can't handle the merry-go-round that is this on again off again situationship. Link to comment
Lexismith Posted June 4 Author Share Posted June 4 21 hours ago, LootieTootie said: Can you provide more context about your background with this guy then? Did he ever mentioned wanting to be more than a fu(k buddy to you? Did he ever show that he wanted that? Did you ever tell him you wanted more? It's hard to really say without much info. No.. we just wanted to hook up that’s all. Link to comment
Lexismith Posted June 4 Author Share Posted June 4 10 hours ago, TeeDee said: He wasn't "just curious." He also doesn't trust you. Neither of you are being honest here. You flit from situationship to situationship & back again without commitment. You either don't know what you want or you are afraid of it. You need to be honest with yourself & address that. He cares more than he wants to admit & can't handle the merry-go-round that is this on again off again situationship. When I asked him was it because he was worried about sexual transmitted diseases?? He told me no, and that he was just curious. He also told me to swear to god, if u was telling the truth? I told him I didn’t do that. Link to comment
yogacat Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 He sounds ballsy. I think that unless he is your doctor and has specifics reasons to inquire about your sex life, it is none of his business. It is not okay for him to pressure or interrogate you about your sexual history, and his behavior is disrespectful and invasive. If he was just interested in hooking up and not having any further involvement, it was unnecessary for him to ask about your past sexual experiences. I mean, what if you asked the same thing back to him, would he have told you the truth? The fact that he continued to ask and then didn't believe you when you said no is a red flag. Tell him to buzzer off. Or, put a ring on it! 😉 Link to comment
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