was it just bad timing?

[hot_to_trot]

Perhaps this question should go into the "Getting back together" section, but it's not really about me getting back with someone in particular, it's more of a question of whether timing has a lot to do with why relationships don't work out.

 

I was with someone a few years ago who I thought was my match (not soulmate, as I don't believe there is one person out there for you), but he was young, inexperienced, and I was his first real love (i think he loved me, but could also be wrong about that). At any rate, we broke up after 3 years, but it had been a rocky relationship from 2 years and onward. He started to take me for granted, and spent more time with his friends than with me. It hurt, but I've knocked it down to the fact that he was young and immature. I've since dated a few guys, nothing to write home about, but at least I've had a better taste of what is out there. From these experiences, I've realized that my ex was one of the better ones.

 

My ex and I have been on and off contact for the past 3 years, and have actually had relations up until about a year and a half ago. We haven't talked much over the past year and a half, until recently. I've realized that besides the immaturity factor of long ago, he really is the person I'd want to be with long-term. Problem is, he's with someone now. They have apparently been together for almost a year. I can deal with that, I don't need to be in a relationship with him right now, but, I guess I'm just curious whether it's possible after years have passed, to actually cross paths again and can actually make it work with an ex. I haven't asked whether this girl and him are serious, quite frankly, it's not my business, but, is there anything I can do to sorta keep in touch with him. He seems to enjoy chatting, but there's only so much we can talk about before it gets repetitive. He has also said that he wouldn't be able to see me because it wouldn't be a good idea, that it would be a dangerous line to cross. Not sure if this suggests that he still cares, or has lingering interest, but whatever. I respect him for that.

[Liquidius]

He has also said that he wouldn't be able to see me because it wouldn't be a good idea, that it would be a dangerous line to cross. Not sure if this suggests that he still cares, or has lingering interest, but whatever. I respect him for that.

 

From what you say, and the fact that he has a girlfriend, it sounds like he just wants to move on. I think that he values the relationship he has now, and may still feelings for you, which is why he wants to kee his distance. I think that he doesn't want them to interfere with the relationship he has now.

 

I just advise you to keep your distance, and just chat to him from time to time

[starion]

so you question is?

can it work out between two of you sometime down the line? of course it can.

i know people who have crossed paths after a few years, a year, half a year and it all worked out.

they say it is weird at first but once a little time passes it is all good.

[shorty20]

can it work? Of course it can. My best friend dated a guy in 7th-8th grade when they were only 13 years old! He broke up with her because his friends kept telling him to. They didn't talk all throughout highschool, and both had plenty of relationships. This past august he called her (neither of them can remember how he had her cell phone number) and 4 months later they got engaged, 2 months later they were married! Miracles do occur, but I wouldn't count on them because you could just be waiting around for a miracle that will never happen. Move on with your life, if it's meant to be then the opportunity will show itself in time.

[hot_to_trot]

I totally respect him for not wanting to mess things up with the girl he's with now, but he didn't make it seem like he was doing that for her sake, but more for his. He said that it probably wouldn't be a good idea since we know how things always end up. Perhaps I should just take it at face value and be happy that he would still be attracted to me.

 

2 of my close friends ended up with people who they dated in the past. One is married, and the other is in a long-term relationship. I'm just worried about his indifference towards me now, and also, the history we have together, if those two things can affect what may or may not happen down the line. If you are interested in hearing more about our history then I can email you.

[pixie102]

I am in a simlar situation as you. I just saw my ex after 2 years. We've been friends all this time. But he has a girlfriend of just over a year...who's also pregnant... I too wonder if it's possible to end up together, especially since he's the one I want to end up with. I don't know. Sorry I'm not much help. I just know how you feel.