Does my life’s ambition merit anything?

[Agrajag]

...or is it just suppressing my happiness?

 

I've been seriously considering this possibility. It seems that I'm basing my life's goals around something which isn't certain to any degree. So, I'm going to fire up this thread to discuss the shortcomings and virtues for ostensibly my only goal in life: to find "the one". I'm not talking about Neo either, I mean her - finding thee.

 

Now I'm not so sure it's such a good idea.

 

I was in an strong conversation with a good friend of mine from Edmonton. I have been showing him the updates on my main thread, [link removed Ongoing Journey To a Happier Life, Taken Stride By Stride . "I guess I don't have, "faith in a future even greater,"." I said. "I think that's the most important part. You need to get over this and the way to do it is to look forward." "To what?" I snidely replied. "See, there's your problem; how can you not see anything? You're like... not even 20. It's unbelievable hat you could look forward to. You can choose almost anything to look forward to, and you have the ability to achieve it."

 

Very strong words and I do agree with him. But when I think about it I have no real ambition in life. No career goals, no schooling, nothing. I almost failed high school because of that lack of focus and really didn't care. I was too focuses on something else - "Her." After I finally, (barely,) graduated I met the woman of my dreams. (Who is now the ex.) We were so amazing together and I had found the ultimate friend and lover I had been looking for. I found a job at a small café in downtown Vancouver, and I was starting and extra-credit math class. Life was good. A little longer at the café and I'd be making enough money to move out. I guess I wasn't suited for it because I got fired after not working there very long. Though, the point is she gave me the energy and motivation to find that job in the first place and to try my hardest at it. I kept my focus on her. It wasn't to impress her – I just wanted to be able to work there long enough to move out and see much more of her (which was what she wasn't ready for but I didn't know that yet did I?) I don't even have motivation to find work because I'm about to get kicked out of my own house. No, my motivation is to get the support funds for my trip to Europe – I need to make that happen? Why? My motivation? Her All because maybe there's a shred of a chance she will be there - the one for me. I'm working toward a career in computer programming/software engineering right now. Why? Because I have the motivation from her – because I think that it will help facilitate finding and enjoying her (i.e. By having the income, etc.)

 

"What do you want out of life" asks my Edmonton friend.

"A girl – honestly - that is it. I don't know why. My only dream is to find the person I will be happy with for the rest of my life - my eternal companion, my soul mate. I hate being alone. Is see my life as being lived as another half."

 

" It's almost as- they're a keystone for my life to work."

 

Is my dream hopeless? 50% of marriages end in divorce. 40% stay together because they've built a life together so they may as well for convenience sake. If I'm going to fight for something it's that 10%.

 

My friend spoke up again, "I just believe it's unhealthy for anyone to put all their effort into a single thing, ESPECIALLY a girl. It's just so dangerous."

 

 

Maybe that 10% who make it work are people who are dedicating their life to it.

 

So, what are the dangers and blessings I may face as I just try to find a companion?

[Alabama]

A mental breakdown. I had one because of this. I was 17 when I had a mental breakdown because I wanted love. I wanted to find the 'girl of my dreams'. Well, I didn't and I still haven't. But I've learned how to cope without it. Focus on other things. I'm focusing now on going to college and becoming a writer and translator. It's good to have someone who cares for you, but if you try to focus on just that person you will miss out on a lot of things in life. You still have plenty of chances to find your soulmate. So don't give up. Live life now. Good luck!

[socalguy123]

dude... get your head together, and build yourself for yourself. you can't ask life to give you "the perfect girl", when you aren't even all together yourself...

you need to realize, you need to bring something to the table, need to have some things in your pocket, before you can find, intrigue, and keep the woman of your dreams.

 

 

you feel incomplete without a woman. but i tell you, your woman won't feel complete with you, as much as you are fun, charming, witty, and devoted. you need to keep yourself together, get your personal life together, get your career/goals together, figure out a nice talent or three.

 

otherwise, you WILL meet the woman of your dreams... and you WILL fall for her hard. And she WILL have ALL the qualities that make up everything you've ever appreciated and wanted in a woman/significant other...

 

but when she gets to know you, the fact that you haven't got your career, your education, your goals, and maybe your personal strength of character well developed... she won't stay long, my friend.

 

just my opinion. i hope this helps...

 

 

of course, maybe i'm taking the too conservative approach...?

[punchy504]

thanks for saving me all that typing socal guy- that's what I would have said