I need to know where this girl stands

[CNP1225]

Not sure how to play this tbh

I like a girl I work with and she is definitely is into me as well. She’ll initiate conversations with me, she’s drunk texted me on numerous occasions, she’ll tell me random *** about her day, etc… However I’m 99% sure there is another guy she is interested in and I’ve always had a hunch but now I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on. This hunch I had is the reason I’ve never asked her out or reciprocated her flirting beyond just being engaged in our conversations over text. Hell I’m even her second best friend on Snapchat (which means she texts me the second most, I get that Snapchat might seem childish but we’re 21 lol)

she's also known him a lot longer than she’s known me, she actually used to refer to him as her “friend” until I started getting suspicious and realized that probably isn’t going on. 

Maybe he really is just her best friend if something but I don't know, I’m just not gonna be responsive to her if she reaches out again, if she wants me she can come get me

My thoughts are that if she’s known this guy longer than she’s known me and is interested in both of us but he’s the only one who’s actively trying, then she probably likes me more? I don’t see why else a girl would still act really into a guy who doesn’t seem to reciprocate her feelings when she’s got another guy she’s known longer that’s actually trying to get her.
 

So where’s this girl likely stand? I know you can’t “know” for sure but I wanna know what’s most likely. Not really looking for “you should ask her out” because I know this and the only reason I’m not is because I suspect she’s got multiple guys she’s interested in

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, CNP1225 said:

 I’m 99% sure there is another guy she is interested in. I’m even her second best friend on Snapchat (which means she texts me the second most, I get that Snapchat might seem childish but we’re 21  Not really looking for “you should ask her out” 

Try to step way back from this. And agree, please,  don't ask her out. Be polite and professional at work.

If you want to be social media friends, that's fine.  It's fine to have a work crush and communicate and be friends outside of work.

However this is too messy so why not date other women outside of work. 

 

[MissCanuck]

12 hours ago, CNP1225 said:

My thoughts are that if she’s known this guy longer than she’s known me and is interested in both of us but he’s the only one who’s actively trying, then she probably likes me more?

Er, no. This is backwards. Where did you get this idea? 

If you don't do anything but message her, and he's actually going a step further and eventually asks her out, you are going to lose out in the end. It will come across as lack of real interest in your part. 

12 hours ago, CNP1225 said:

Not really looking for “you should ask her out” because I know this and the only reason I’m not is because I suspect she’s got multiple guys she’s interested in

So? What is your end goal in talking to her if you don't intend on asking her out? Are you waiting for her to do so? You're shooting yourself in the foot by being so passive when it seems she is indeed interested. 

Look, advice from a woman twice your age - put on your Big Boy Pants and see if she wants to get together. Don't let your ego (or fear of rejection) stand in your own way. Otherwise, you are going to wonder where she disappeared to when she eventually stops messaging you so much because some other guy has actually taken her on a date and has her attention. Snapchat isn't dating, man. Get off the device and spend time with her on a real date. 

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

put on your Big Boy Pants and see if she wants to get together. Don't let your ego (or fear of rejection) stand in your own way. Otherwise, you are going to wonder where she disappeared to when she eventually stops messaging you so much because some other guy has actually taken her on a date and has her attention. Snapchat isn't dating, man. Get off the device and spend time with her on a real date. 

Yes, this.