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kicked in the stomach


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My ex and I have recently been in contact after about a year and a half of none. I began communication with a simple email saying that I apologized for the argument that we had which ended our contact. I signed off saying that I'd love to hear from him at anytime. He responded about a week later and we've been emailing eachother ever since.

 

He made a comment today after I suggested we should get together to see a movie implying that I ought to have a lot of guys wanting to get into my pants. He obviously thinks that my suggestion is more than just a friendly hang-out session. Then he comes out with, I've had myself one for almost a year now (makes her sound like shes an object, rather than a person). I wished he would have told me this when i asked him if anything was new (one of our first email chats), it's almost like he was embarrassed to tell me. So then I made light of it and said, well I guess that's a good reason why you wouldn't want to hang out. He kept commenting that it would be a dangerous line to cross, meanwhile I'm thinking that all we would be doing is just getting together to see a movie. Anyhow, I further asked if we shouldn't be chatting at all, but he said he was still interested in talking.

 

Although in one way, its a relief to hear that he's been dating someone, or is with someone, but it was also a kick in the stomach. This is the first time he's admitted to actually being with someone.

 

I'm not sure if he's just talking to me to be nice, but if he said no to meeting up, then he could have just as well said no to talking together. If it was me who was with someone and an ex started chatting me up, I'd have told them up front that I was with someone, so it would be their choice whether they'd still want to talk.

 

I guess what I'm getting at here is, does it sound as though he may still have some interest?

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should have but didn't. Seriously when I read your first post, it was immediately obvious what he was thinking.

Dangerous line to cross=will want to cheat on girlfriend

Are you honestly saying that your intentions are completely platonic?

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Good for him! He obviously doesn't trust himself around you so he's not taking any chances of screwing something up with his new gf or maybe the new gf is the jealous type and again, maybe he doesn't want to screw that up.

 

I know too many guys who "hang out" with old gfs before they can truly move on emotionally and that usually leads to disaster, especially if they're seeing someone else.

 

It also sounds like your ego took a bit of a bruise there.

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Yes, it is very possible. But there are some things to be sure of before that can happen... Things that went wrong in the relationship before have got to be addressed and understood, openly and honestly. The BOTH of you had to have grown in some way(s) from not only your previous relationship, but also from whatever relationships took place 'inbetween.'

 

Make sure you and the other person have shed any 'rose-colored glasses' when looking at how things were, and you two also have to come to an understanding that things from the past need to be left there as much as possible - from the past relationship between you two, from past relationships with others, etc... The last thing you want is to be using (or have used against you) ammunition from the past....

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