Why is a healthy relationship SO triggering?

[Jaunty]

I too am sorry that this is happening, but I am impressed with your self awareness and your ability to make a healthy decision in the midst of your emotional ups and downs.

Hopefully this situation has given you even more insight into how your insecurities and how you have handled them in the past have really dominated the relationships you've had.

You can still be yourself, with your flaws and strengths, without letting the more negative parts  rule.   

Keep going with the therapy and take care.  

[catfeeder]

5 hours ago, Jaunty said:

I too am sorry that this is happening, but I am impressed with your self awareness and your ability to make a healthy decision in the midst of your emotional ups and downs.

Hopefully this situation has given you even more insight into how your insecurities and how you have handled them in the past have really dominated the relationships you've had.

You can still be yourself, with your flaws and strengths, without letting the more negative parts  rule.   

Keep going with the therapy and take care.  

I second this, and before you drill yourself into self blame, consider that most people are simply not long distance relationship material. The only way to learn this about ourselves is to try it.

So sure, continue your work on self improvement, which is a worthwhile practice regardless of your age or emotional state, but use it to layer more confidence on top of your already-love-worthy self rather than adopt some inaccurate belief that you are incapable of loving well. You may just want to stick with dating people who are local enough to offer you the time and attention you deserve.

Head high.

[Capricorn3]

I too am sorry it ended, but I 100% think you did the right thing.  Now time to focus on yourself and your mental health.  I wish you the best.