Would a real friend say this?

[Superstickyone]

I've known this woman for 3 months and we met at a badminton drop in club.

We have similar interests and talk about those things .  We both also like blues music and singers.  Outside the badminton club, we have been to 3 concerts.  She has her own car and so do I.  Each time she has asked me to drive over 30 minutes to pick her up, go to the concert and drive her home after.  I did it the first time but frankly it's tiring and I hate driving at night in the rain.  Her reason was because she was "tired".  I decided no 2nd and 3rd times so we came in our separate cars.  I told her my reason too. But she barely spoke to me at the concerts and said "real friends should help when asked".  Then she basically left after the 3rd concert without saying much to me.  I told her it's tiring for me too. 

Now at badminton she says hi and that's it, like I'm being punished!  Do you think our friendship is over?  I'm a little pissed off at her cold behavior 😤. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Starlight925]

She's using you for a ride, gas, and so she can relax in your car.

You should be the one acting cold towards her.

No, this is not a real friendship.  It's an acquaintance built on a shared enjoyment of an activity.  Don't build resentment on this, just enjoy the activity together, and go to concerts alone or with someone else. 

Sorry she has treated you as her own personal Uber.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Superstickyone said:

.  I decided no 2nd and 3rd times so we came in our separate cars.  I told her my reason too. But she barely spoke to me at the concerts and said "real friends should help when asked".  

You did the right thing suggesting separate transportation. There's no need to be her chauffeur. 

The remark is classic emotion extortion and manipulation through guilt tripping. Similar to "if you cared about me, you would....".

Try to be polite but don't be manipulated, particularly since you explained it's as exhausting for you as it is for her. 

[Andrina]

Many of us are stuck with annoying family members, so it's a true joy in life that you actually get to pick your friends. So why continue with someone whom you can't enjoy your leisure time with? When you ditch who doesn't meet your criteria of a real friend, it leaves room for you to develop the sort of friendship you want with someone more deserving of that spot.

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, Superstickyone said:

"real friends should help when asked"

She wasn't asking for "help" but literally a free ride.  "Tired" is a reason to give someone a lift after a medical procedure.  Not transportation to a concert.  Ugh.  Good riddance IMO

[catfeeder]

This acquaintance has never established herself as a friend, and her attitude of entitlement would keep it that way for me. I'd remain civil when our paths cross, but she's not worth an investment, and I'd allow her 'punishment' to thud on indifference.

There are plenty of people in the world, and you're smart to avoid catering to anyone who views themselves as the only person in the world.

Head high.

[Kwothe28]

You the one that complained about people using her all the time? Yeah, this is just one more instance of that. You are not obligated to give free rides for somebody. Especially when they dont even offer to even pay for gas. There is a difference between doing a favor for a friend and just using somebody. A friend would at least offer to pay for gas or help you other time in a different way. People like the woman you met, they would just look for the ways to use you. She could offer to drive next time. Or repay you in other ways like with meal after concert or something. But instead she chose to gaslight you the minute you refused to do her a favor. So, eh, at least now you noticed those stuff early and didnt invest that much of yourself in this. So, you are progressing. Because now you notice the signs that somebody is using you early and detach from them.

[Superstickyone]

Thanks for the feedback!  She's a mere acquaintance at best.  I have a heart ❤️ of gold and will help a friend in need but this one was not a friend obviously.  I am just ignoring her from now on at badminton.  It's a pity we invest in someone, only to realize their true character later on.  You are really taking a risk I'd say, whenever someone new pops into your life. This lady seemed so nice, bubbly and warm that I now realize she wasn't presenting her true self.

I shake my head at how many times this has happened.  Whew!