Situationship struggling!

[welsh12345]

Hello... I've posted historically regarding a situationship I developed with a friend of 5 years. He always maintained he didn't know what he wanted but continued to pursue me and I let him. I had no feelings initially but by now I've fallen hook line and sinker. I've chased and tried to be everything he wanted yet he's not ready for a relationship and wants to continue sleeping around. He's 31. What hurts is he says he has feelings for me? Says he wants to see me then says no we need space a clean break. I then find myself suggesting a break and then asking to see him only for him to tell me no one of us has to do this break to allow us to move on. It's been going on 4 months and today is the end but I feel weak and pathetic. He isn't emotionally intelligent and I tried to give him everything. Now he's decided he needs space. He's my friend of 5 years but I ended the conversation with this: I just want you to know there's nothing I wouldn't have done for you and you've lost a good person in me. I don't hate you and never will but this has really hurt me I hope you find yourself and I wish you all the best moving forward. 

 

He then replied : thank you and the same to you. You don't need to tell me what I've lost because I already know it could have been special but one of us had to cut this off to allow us to move on. Take care too. 

 

I know I need to delete and move on but I'm heart broken. I probably sound weak but I just need to know there's nothing else I should say? I chased too much and I feel I should apologise for that. Should I just block? Advice please. He hasn't appeared remotely upset at any point. I wear my heart on my sleeve. 

[Wiseman2]

50 minutes ago, welsh12345 said:

I know I need to delete and move on but I'm heart broken

Sorry this happened.  Sounds like you dodged a bullet and made the right decision ending it.

Please free yourself completely from this unsatisfying situation. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Don't look back. Is this the same man?:

 

[welsh12345]

Sadly yes... I don't know if its him on the initial friendship I'm clinging onto what I do know is we have one mutual friend and navigating that is hard. Blocking seems brutal but might be the only way. 

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, welsh12345 said:

He then replied : one of us had to cut this off to allow us to move on. 

It seems like you ended on good terms but that the FWB situation is no longer viable.  It seems he realizes you want a relationship he's not willing to have so setting both yourselves free is a good solution.

Please don't  beg or remind him what he lost. There's no need to continue to try to convince him to have the type of relationship you are looking for.

Please get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men who want what you want. Consider paid relationship focused dating apps and try to screen for the characteristics you are looking for. Paid apps may have more serious daters and better screening and matching tools. 

[Jaunty]

It's time to leave this person behind and focus on processing your own feelings and moving on.   There is nothing further to be said or done involving this guy.  

[welsh12345]

Thank you both. I'm done now. Had a good sleep and chat with friends. He's not a bad person but I have been led up the garden path. He always knew he didn't want a relationship but still pursued. If our friendship meant anything then he would have prevented it. All what ifs now... thanks for the dating advice but I think I'll stay single a while. Have a breather. He's really worried he's lost a friend according to our mutual friend but I can't even think about him or that. It's space... and plenty of it I need because I think I was in love with this guy. 

[Andrina]

3 minutes ago, welsh12345 said:

He's really worried he's lost a friend according to our mutual friend

For your own good, please tell your friend you no longer want to hear news of the guy. The sooner his name is no longer mentioned, the quicker you'll get to the healing stage. Glad you will go no contact, and forever, as once you've crossed the friendship boundary, staying buddies will turn off a new dating prospect. A good learning lesson to make sure a guy meets ALL your dating goals from the very beginning. I've made plenty of dating/relationship mistakes as well. We're all human. Enjoy the upcoming holidays with loving friends and family.