collegegirl2005 Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 I recently just started seeing this man off of hinge! We have been seeing each other for about a month or so. He is genuinely one of the kindest people I have ever met and our feelings for each other have grown so so deeply. But, just yesterday he told me that he has to move out of the country for a job in about 2 weeks (he’s a golf pro) and that it will be a year long thing. He’s saying that he wants to start dating and that he will fly me out to Cabo when ever I want to see him, roughy 1-2 times a month. I feel insane for wanting to start this, do you think this is reasonable or doomed to fail? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shouldhavelearned Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 Not the best start. At least he's honest. Give it a shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 I would not. Tell him to contact you next year. Otherwise you’ll likely be a side chick - also how do you have time to fly to see him that often and when the year is over is he definitely coming back to your area ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 Only month in I would say not a good idea. How about you consider just seeing how things go once he leaves instead of locking down what is actually going to happen? He leaves, you both see how you feel about the distance and your visits and go from there. Chances are he will be meet other women while there and since you have only been seeing each other a month he will feel less of an obligation towards you. Seems pretty risky to waste a year on a guy you just met don't you think? Also is this his lifestyle where he travels for work for extended periods a lot? How does that fit in with your lifestyle? Just doesn't seem like a good match logistically. Lost 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwothe28 Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 1 hour ago, collegegirl2005 said: He’s saying that he wants to start dating and that he will fly me out to Cabo when ever I want to see him he wants sex, roughy 1-2 times a month. There, fixed it for you. Dont agree to that arrangement with somebody who was a stranger a month ago. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 How do you feel about putting your whole dating life on hold for someone you barely know? What are your goals for dating, are those well formed? If you’re in your fertility years and want to find a dedicated partner with whom to build a future and, when you are ready, a family, then how would it fit to put all potential prospects for that on hold for someone who likes you after a few dates but wants to go chase his balls somewhere else? Isn’t this plan of his something he could have told you when you first met him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowsandroses Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 3 hours ago, collegegirl2005 said: He’s saying that he wants to start dating... Start dating? What have you been doing the past two weeks? Hanging out as friends? Have you had sex yet? I dunno he doesn't sound so "kind" to me, he sounds shady. Wants to start dating (having sex) BUT leaving in two weeks for a year. But promises to fly you out twice a month. Yeah right, and I'm the Queen of England. No thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 Oh, Lordy, In this day and age with sex trafficking a major problem, I would never throw caution to the wind. Please don't consider these sort of dangers being far-fetched. Start reading about how women have been duped and held sexual prisoners, including in America. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 13 hours ago, collegegirl2005 said: . He’s saying that he wants to start dating and that he will fly me out to Cabo when ever I want to see him, roughy 1-2 times a month. It's not worth the offer of free trips. There's no free lunch. He doesn't know you and his story seems fishy. Who pays for round trip tickets twice a month to a resort area in Mexico for someone they just met? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 This is a fantasy. You two haven’t been seeing each other long enough for this to work out. Sure, you might see him a couple times but I can nearly guarantee it will fizzle out quickly. I wouldn’t bother, personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaunty Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 There is not really a relationship to "join." A relationship needs to be built. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 This won't be dating, this is an "arrangement". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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