Thoughts about gifts before dating

[health needs]

Question for the ladies, 

I like a girl from my university program and I think she likes me too. She is aware about my intentions however I feel like she is playing hard to get. I've been thinking of sending her flowers to either her apartment or at our school (annonyomously with an inside joke). Would it be too much? I honestly have never been in this position to try this hard before but I really like her. 

 

The reason I think she is playing hard to get is because I have flirted with her and she answers my messages including cute emojies and such. She canceled plans once tho bc she was going out of town to visit family. 

[health needs]

I should also mention that I do not where she lives. So I dont want to ask classmates because I dont want other people to know about my future rejection 😂

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, health needs said:

. She canceled plans once tho bc she was going out of town to visit family. 

It's ok to have a crush and be friendly, ask her out etc. However please do not send flowers to her home. It's a bit too much and could be perceived as creepy. 

If you ask someone out and they are busy, you simply say ok. Then ask them out another time. If they continue to avoid you, you just walk away.

[smackie9]

Be cool and a little aloof...to be desirable is to be less available. Don't do flowers at this time. I know this is PU stuff but talking to other girls can up your value as they say. I don't always recommend but sometimes traditional approaches don't work. 

[Kwothe28]

54 minutes ago, health needs said:

I've been thinking of sending her flowers to either her apartment or at our school (annonyomously with an inside joke). Would it be too much?

Yes. Just because she anwers your messages doesnt mean she likes you. Otherwise she wouldnt cancel a date. When somebody likes you, you arent suppose to chase and try that much. Simple scheduling a date should be just about enough. Sending a flowers would be a "try hard" move. In a situation where you dont even know if she wants to date you, it would be too much. Save flowers for when she actually dates you and you know that it could be something there. For example cute emojis dont mean too much. If she flirted with you then you would maybe be on to something. For now its just you trying around somebody who isnt very keen on dating you. 

[Andrina]

1 hour ago, health needs said:

The reason I think she is playing hard to get is because I have flirted with her and she answers my messages including cute emojies and such. She canceled plans once tho bc she was going out of town to visit family. 

Speaking as a woman, if a guy I was totally into asked me out and I was going out of town, I'd say: 
"I get back from visiting my family on (date given). I'm free on the Saturday after that. Would that work for you?"

Hold out for the a woman who's into you. She seems to be okay with flirty attention, but just not that into you enough to date. The ball was in her court to give you an alternate date, or to ask you out when she got back from her vacay. She'd didn't lob the ball back, so stop pouring your time and energy into a dead end.

You can't buy a person's love, so no on the flowers. Save that for a woman you've been dating a few months.

I'd just delete her as a contact, since communicating with her will cause problems with a new love interest. The good thing about university is that you will be meeting the most single women you will ever meet in your lifetime. Good luck in meeting someone great for you.

[shouldhavelearned]

No flowers

 

Talk on phone

[Cherylyn]

Don't send flowers.  Too soon.  Wait until you're in an established dating relationship with her.  Sending flowers would be premature and weird at this point.

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

Don't send flowers.  Too soon.  Wait until you're in an established dating relationship with her.  Sending flowers would be premature and weird at this point.

I agree with both and particularly -weird - and potentially creepy

[Capricorn3]

9 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I agree with both and particularly -weird - and potentially creepy

I agree. No flowers.

[MissCanuck]

Add me to the pile: don't send flowers. 

Ask her out on a date. 

[MrMan1983]

American romantic movies where there’s some guy acting like a lapdog giving a girl flowers are full of 💩 when it comes to real life dynamics. She may politely go “oh that’s so sweet” but it will probably do the opposite for her respect/attraction levels.

[Batya33]

Just throwing this in -a few times for a first meet the guy brought me a "gift" but it was just lighthearted -like we'd joked about biscottis so he brought me one.  One brought me a doughnut -then left it in his car lol -then sent me a photo of it on email held captive lol (this was 2004!) So if you chat about her favorite whatever and it's cute/inexpensive -sure.

[Wiseman2]

15 hours ago, health needs said:

I should also mention that I do not where she lives.  😂

In that case it makes sending flowers especially creepy. Date women who are interested in you. 

[JoyfulCompany]

18 hours ago, health needs said:

I should also mention that I do not where she lives. So I dont want to ask classmates because I dont want other people to know about my future rejection 😂

Never ask third parties for a woman's address. Not because of how lame it may make you look but because of how unsafe it may make her feel. The only person who's okay to get her address from is herself and when she wants to give it to you or take you home.

Also, I'm a bit suspicious with this "playing hard to get". If she ever told you "no", take it as a "no". If she didn't say "no" but cancelled without rescheduling, maybe ask her out one more time and if she cancels again, you have your answer.