Jessicat1990 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Share Posted April 8, 2023 Just now, Tinydance said: Do you like the other guy or you see him only as a friend? I think I like him I’ve been asking advice from fellow colleagues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinydance Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 Just now, Jessicat1990 said: I think I like him I’ve been asking advice from fellow colleagues. OK well why don't you tell him you like him? You could break up with your boyfriend because you don't seem to be that into him anyway. You have to keep in mind though that your colleague might not trust you because he might think if you were his girlfriend then you'd be flirting with other guys. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessicat1990 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Share Posted April 8, 2023 4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Are you worried about getting fired? Or if there's gossip about what you did? He won’t report me as he will want to keep it private. He doesn’t gossip about anyone I know him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 3 minutes ago, Jessicat1990 said: I think I like him I’ve been asking advice from fellow colleagues. And you think these colleagues won't gossip? Please break up with your "boyfriend". You are using him just like you're using that other guy for gifts and attention. BTW, the other guy might not want to date a woman who used him for gifts and attention while concealing her boyfriend from him. You came across as deceitful and manipulative. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessicat1990 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Share Posted April 8, 2023 5 hours ago, gamon said: Was it a book of fiction? A bottle of perfume. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessicat1990 Posted April 8, 2023 Author Share Posted April 8, 2023 1 minute ago, boltnrun said: And you think these colleagues won't gossip? Please break up with your "boyfriend". You are using him just like you're using that other guy for gifts and attention. BTW, the other guy might not want to date a woman who used him for gifts and attention while concealing her boyfriend from him. You came across as deceitful and manipulative. The colleague (Josh) is very private he hates gossip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 16 minutes ago, Jessicat1990 said: I don’t know it’s safe with my boyfriend. I’ve asked colleagues to talk to him and he just replies it’s private but he respects me. Safe is not a reason to stay with someone you’re obviously not that into and won’t even talk to. You seem to have this pattern of rounding up people to be your go betweens. Maybe try some independence and standing on your own two feet. If you want a safe relationship get a kitten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 19 minutes ago, Jessicat1990 said: The colleague (Josh) is very private he hates gossip. No, I mean the colleagues you're recruiting to try to get him to talk to you again. THEY are more likely to gossip about your attempts to get involved with him. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaunty Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Jessicat1990 said: I don’t know it’s safe with my boyfriend. I’ve asked colleagues to talk to him and he just replies it’s private but he respects me. It's sketch behavior in a big way to be engaging fellow co-workers in this drama, and especially since you're supposedly not available - though I'm getting the impression that if this workmate wanted to have sex with you you'd be all in. Is that correct? You're trying to two-time on your unsuspecting boyfriend, while at the same time disrespecting the guy at work who evidently had the hots or a crush on you in the past. Focus on your self and your behavior. You don't need to behave in shady ways in order to have a man or men in your life. Be a stand-up person - to start with, break up with your bf, since you are acting like a single person with your rather desperate pursuit of the former "friend" / orbiter. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 8 hours ago, gamon said: Was it a book of fiction? Perhaps a tome of tall tales. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessicat1990 Posted April 9, 2023 Author Share Posted April 9, 2023 5 hours ago, MissCanuck said: Perhaps a tome of tall tales. He got me a bottle of Ghost perfume! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessicat1990 Posted April 9, 2023 Author Share Posted April 9, 2023 7 hours ago, Jaunty said: It's sketch behavior in a big way to be engaging fellow co-workers in this drama, and especially since you're supposedly not available - though I'm getting the impression that if this workmate wanted to have sex with you you'd be all in. Is that correct? You're trying to two-time on your unsuspecting boyfriend, while at the same time disrespecting the guy at work who evidently had the hots or a crush on you in the past. Focus on your self and your behavior. You don't need to behave in shady ways in order to have a man or men in your life. Be a stand-up person - to start with, break up with your bf, since you are acting like a single person with your rather desperate pursuit of the former "friend" / orbiter. My friend was honest and quite blunt she said I don’t deserve Josh (the colleague) back as a friend. It will all blow over in a few weeks and then I will try to get him back in friend terms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinydance Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Jessicat1990 said: He got me a bottle of Ghost perfume! I think people are joking lol Ghost perfume is expensive right? No wonder the guy was mad lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 6 hours ago, Jessicat1990 said: It will all blow over in a few weeks and then I will try to get him back in friend terms. Be honest with your boyfriend about your desire to have this guy back in your life and how you think you might "like" him. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 Josh was never your friend, he was actively perusing you, and you took advantage of that. There is no way in hell Josh is going to come back and be "your friend". The only thing you can do is leave him alone, and let him have his space. Have the decency to let him grieve and heal his heart. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessicat1990 Posted April 9, 2023 Author Share Posted April 9, 2023 4 hours ago, smackie9 said: Josh was never your friend, he was actively perusing you, and you took advantage of that. There is no way in hell Josh is going to come back and be "your friend". The only thing you can do is leave him alone, and let him have his space. Have the decency to let him grieve and heal his heart. That’s what I will do. We work in different departments but if I see him around the building he will just leave the room or not look at me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaunty Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Jessicat1990 said: That’s what I will do. We work in different departments but if I see him around the building he will just leave the room or not look at me. Smart guy. I hope your "boyfriend" soon gets the idea that he needs to be doing the same. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessicat1990 Posted April 10, 2023 Author Share Posted April 10, 2023 1 hour ago, Jaunty said: Smart guy. I hope your "boyfriend" soon gets the idea that he needs to be doing the same. I realise I’ve hurt a good guy with a good heart. My boyfriend I have no worries there as he doesn’t know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamon Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 10 minutes ago, Jessicat1990 said: My boyfriend I have no worries there as he doesn’t know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessicat1990 Posted April 10, 2023 Author Share Posted April 10, 2023 6 minutes ago, gamon said: I’m going to finish with my boyfriend as he doesn’t deserve what has happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamon Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 Good plan. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 8 hours ago, Jessicat1990 said: I realise I’ve hurt a good guy with a good heart. My boyfriend I have no worries there as he doesn’t know. Go to work and be as professional as possible. Leave this co-worker alone. It's doubtful you'll be friends or anything else in the future. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessicat1990 Posted April 10, 2023 Author Share Posted April 10, 2023 I do regret everything showing my colleagues the valentines card from him and showing them the nice message he put. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 8 minutes ago, Jessicat1990 said: I do regret everything showing my colleagues the valentines card from him and showing them the nice message he put. I presume none of these work colleagues know your boyfriend or even know you HAVE a boyfriend. Is that correct? What's disturbing is so far your primary concern is about yourself. Not about how you've betrayed your boyfriend by lying to him and concealing this other guy from him, or for lying to the guy at work who obviously thought you liked him since you accepted his gifts, or lying to your coworkers by not telling them you have a boyfriend. That's a lot of lies and deception. I hope you've learned something from this situation. It's not nice to use people or to lie or deceive. You can be a good and decent person going forward but not if you keep trying to lure your coworker back so he'll keep giving you gifts. And please do break up with your boyfriend. You obviously don't love him. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaunty Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 14 minutes ago, Jessicat1990 said: I do regret everything showing my colleagues the valentines card from him and showing them the nice message he put. Yes, that was highly inappropriate behavior on your part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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