Not sure if she likes me

[confused man 39]

Hi. I own a business where a woman has been a customer for several years. I have always fancied her as she is incredibly beautiful but she was married with kids so never acted on it. Whenever I saw her I would engage in everyday pleasantries but a few months ago she told me her and her husband were separating. She told me some quite intimate details, things I think you wouldn't share with just anyone. Then about a month ago she gave me her number as she needed some help with something. I've spoken to her a few times via messaging and she once again shared intimate details of the breakup as well as general banter. Whenever we see each other in my business we always share a joke. However I've noticed the last couple of weeks she never texts, doesn't come in to my business and if I see her out and about its a casual wave. I don't know if its a case of her catching feelings and backing off due to going through a divorce, her thinking I was an independent person to rant to as we have completely different friend circle or just her thinking I'm some infatuated guy and she's backing off. Its really doing my head in as I really like her, not just for her looks but she actually makes me laugh. I think about her constantly but I'm afraid of asking her as there are other issues that could stop her going with me (we are different religions which is pretty much a no no in traditional families like ours). Does she actually like me or am I reading too much into the things she's told me in the past?

[Kwothe28]

I can offer you a theory: She liked you but due to you being passive she is now backing off. Its a common thing, she gave you her number, you didnt do anything with it(call her to hangout, coffee etc) and she is now staying away.

Ofcourse, it could be any number of things. For example maybe she got back with husband. And the whole situation just sounds messy and not something you should pursue in general. So its probably for the best to keep it in that way. Especially because she sounds like she was aftering adventure, not anything serious because she is married after all. 

[Wiseman2]

34 minutes ago, confused man 39 said:

. I don't know if its a case of her catching feelings and backing off due to going through a divorce, 

It seems like the divorce is on her mind. Just relax and see what happens.  She seems quite comfortable with you so whatever it is she's going through probably isn't related to lack of interest or anything you did.

[Batya33]

Is it possible she's planning on relocating and has found a similar type business at the new location? Does the husband also come to your business?

[confused man 39]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It seems like the divorce is on her mind. Just relax and see what happens.  She seems quite comfortable with you so whatever it is she's going through probably isn't related to lack of interest or anything you did.

I thought she was comfortable with me. The things she's told me about the breakup are really personal imo. She did say the first time we spoke about it that she didn't mind telling me as I don't know her extended family or friend circle. But then I've shown some of her messages to my best friend and he agreed that it wasn't the sort of thing you would tell someone you hardly know. Surely she would have to trust me to to tell me them? At first I thought is she maybe trying to tap me up for money but she's never really mentioned any money issues (she did once say she would get a problem she had sorted on payday but never mentioned it again). So I'm doscounting that as surely if she was trying to fleece me she would be constantly talking to me to win my trust? Her teenage son has a part time job working for me, she was the one that asked me to give it him as she was worried about his mental health, so could she just be nice because of that?

[confused man 39]

8 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Is it possible she's planning on relocating and has found a similar type business at the new location? Does the husband also come to your business?

Thanks for replying. As far as I'm aware she is not moving any time soon. 

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, confused man 39 said:

 I'm doscounting that as surely if she was trying to fleece me she would be constantly talking to me to win my trust? 

People in the throes if divorce can be all over the place because their lives are turned upsidedown. It's doubtful she's trying to fleece you.

Some people going through a lot just need an ear or a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes talking to a stranger or acquaintance is easier than talking to close friends.

Do you want to date her?

[confused man 39]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

People in the throes if divorce can be all over the place because their lives are turned upsidedown. It's doubtful she's trying to fleece you.

Some people going through a lot just need an ear or a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes talking to a stranger or acquaintance is easier than talking to close friends.

Do you want to date her?

I'll be honest at first it was purely a physical attraction. But the more we talk the more I get on with her and enjoy our banter. So yes I would want to date her. However I could see why she wouldn't want to date me- divorce, kids, religion 

[Tinydance]

To be honest though, usually when a woman tells all her problems to a man, it's because she just sees him as a friend or brother figure. Women don't normally pile all their issues on a man they like because they don't want to make a bad impression. They would just talk to their girl friends about their problems. My guess would be is that she's not interested in you romantically. I know she gave you her number but you said it's because she needed help. I think if she was into you she would actually be texting you and she wouldn't be backing off. 

[Cherylyn]

Something is off with this woman and she is too forward.  I'd beware if I were you. 

Sounds like she's dumping on you as a sounding board. 

You had mentioned that she wouldn't want to date you due to divorce,  kids and religion.  Well,  there you  have it.  That's your answer. 

Maintain a pleasant distance while remaining professional. 

[Andrina]

She might now be embarrassed, realizing she's overshared with you, and is now seeking distance.'

Nobody is good dating material until at least a year after a divorce. Lots of steps to go through, especially when children are involved.

Since you say there are barriers to you two logically ever being together, it's best you emotionally move on and just think of her as any other customer, and treat her that way as well. 

It's also tough professionally when her son works for you, and she is a customer, to cross a line of asking someone like her out. You really don't know her, and she might file a complaint.

[smackie9]

Sharing intimate details should never be taken as a form of intimacy. She’s probably branched out to all men in her life to help her out with things now she has no man in her life to depend on. Yes women do that as a mode of survival. You helped her out with something, now she’s moved onto other things she needs to do to transition. 

[confused man 39]

Thank you all for your responses. I know I need to forget about her and move on. Just hard when I think about her constantly