Alittlehelpplz Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 Hey people, hope all is well with everyone. I need some advice. recently I started dating this girl, we have been on two dates and we planned a third. she quickly become part of my life. texting all the time making time to see each other etc. I will admit, making plans with her has been hard. Our schedules don’t match up a lot. but our dates are always fun. anyway, over the last two days she has been texting as much as she normally does and today. Absolutely nothing, so I texted and she sent this long paragraph apologizing saying she’s been so busy with work and school. After she sent another text saying it isn’t fair that she is inconsistent with me and maybe we should back off from dating. She said we can we friends for now if I wanted. she continued to say she just can’t keep up with dating right now with everything going on. truth is, I like this girl and I thought things were going well. So this kind of stung. but here’s my question, do I walk away from her and just move on. or do I be her friend for now? she’s waiting on my response and I don’t know what to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherylyn Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 It's up to you. If you want to be friends, then accept only friendship because it's all she's willing to offer. If friendship is not what you had in mind, wish her all the best and part ways amicably. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwothe28 Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Alittlehelpplz said: do I walk away from her and just move on. or do I be her friend for now? Walk away! You like her and dont need her as friend. You staying there hoping for more, while she dates other people, would not be beneficial to you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 Don't hang around and be friends. It likely will not ever develop into something more and it will hurt to see her eventually go on dates with other guys. Just tell her since you don't want to just be friends, you are going to say goodbye here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Alittlehelpplz said: She e continued to say she just can’t keep up with dating right now with everything going on. Unfortunately this seems like a gentle let down with the "let's stay friends" line. If this is the same woman, she's been moving you to the friendzone since the first date. https://www.enotalone.com/topic/456051-why-does-she-keep-inviting-her-friends/#comment-5782944 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 5 hours ago, MissCanuck said: Don't hang around and be friends. It likely will not ever develop into something more and it will hurt to see her eventually go on dates with other guys. Just tell her since you don't want to just be friends, you are going to say goodbye here. Yes. Friends talk about who they are trying to date. Imagine if in a few weeks she tells you or you learn that suddenly she has time to pursue a man she is into - and you will know because you are "friends". I'm sorry that your interest in her is not reciprocated! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTCW Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 Can you really be friends with someone you have feelings for? I don't think I could. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coily Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 The "let's friends trap" is to make them feel less bad about terminating the relationship. She's already long gone emotionally, it's best that you run in the opposite direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambert Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 walk away. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunshineBaby7 Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 It sounds like she is trying to avoid you by not acting on making plans with you, maybe she sees you more as a friend? I would accept the friendship and keep it moving. I know it probably hurts investing time in getting to know someone, but I think considering by her response she just wants to keep the “friends” thing going and if you’re okay with that then maybe just be there for her as needed on a friendly basis otherwise if you’re not ok with being friends, love her from afar and hopefully one day someone will come along and the energy will be reciprocated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 2 hours ago, SunshineBaby7 said: It sounds like she is trying to avoid you by not acting on making plans with you, maybe she sees you more as a friend? I would accept the friendship and keep it moving I would hope that someone who wanted to be my friend would want to make a plan -and explain the boundaries of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 She offered the friends card because she's not all that into you and isn't willing to make effort. You are wasting your time with someone who isn't willing to make time for you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted February 22, 2023 Share Posted February 22, 2023 Any new love interest you have might make a quick exit when she finds out you're buddies with a lady you once dated. Also, expect the woman who doesn't have time for you now will have even less time when she gets a new boyfriend. Best to move on now without staying friends. Why take that risk and play around with your romantic future? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alittlehelpplz Posted February 23, 2023 Author Share Posted February 23, 2023 22 hours ago, MissCanuck said: Don't hang around and be friends. It likely will not ever develop into something more and it will hurt to see her eventually go on dates with other guys. Just tell her since you don't want to just be friends, you are going to say goodbye here. Update, I responded and told her I understood etc. I asked her how she felt about me though, if she had any romantic feelings for me. I thought if she said no. Then friendship wouldn’t be a bad idea. But if she said yes, then probably not. she said she has some romantic feelings for me and that she’s attracted to me. she also said if things lined up later on then we should start dating again. would I be dumb to accept this? should I still walk away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alittlehelpplz Posted February 23, 2023 Author Share Posted February 23, 2023 22 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Unfortunately this seems like a gentle let down with the "let's stay friends" line. If this is the same woman, she's been moving you to the friendzone since the first date. https://www.enotalone.com/topic/456051-why-does-she-keep-inviting-her-friends/#comment-5782944 Different girl. Oh and btw, I was completely wrong about that. I was thinking it was a friend thing. It was a double date. she treated as one anyway closeness, expecting me to make a move. I didn’t realize that until after the date and she starting kissing me. But she has disappeared again. So what can I do. anyway current situation, after this post I asked her how she felt about me. She said she was attracted to me and has some romantic feelings for me. And maybe down the line we can start dating again. should I accept her offer of friendship or walk away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwothe28 Posted February 23, 2023 Share Posted February 23, 2023 3 hours ago, Alittlehelpplz said: would I be dumb to accept this? In simple terms, yes. She keeps you in the reserve if some other relationships of hers dont work out. Its rather simple, if she likes you, there is no reason why she shouldnt date you. But like this, she just keeps you there. Dont ever settle for being no2. Show that you have some respect and that you are better then that. Send her where the sun dont shines and dont look back. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 23, 2023 Share Posted February 23, 2023 4 hours ago, Alittlehelpplz said: . And maybe down the line we can start dating again. Unfortunately this seems like she's trying to let you down easy but unfortunately is stringing you along in the process.. It's not worthwhile being in the friendzone if you are looking for someone to date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 23, 2023 Share Posted February 23, 2023 She's keeping you around as plan B, an after thought. Nope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OliviaJJJ Posted February 23, 2023 Share Posted February 23, 2023 Why does she deserve a response? You have no obligation to respond to her. You had two dates? Don't be her puppet. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunday_luthier Posted February 23, 2023 Share Posted February 23, 2023 Standing by or continuing to pursue her will only push her away. I think it was already a mistake to ask her how she felt about you. Just tell her jokingly she'll be missing out on the time of her life. Keep it light-hearted and let her know you're fine with her decision to stop dating. If she's really into you, she'll come around. Until then, make no new attempt to contact her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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