Will he contact me again??

[Doverlove]

I met this guy 4 months ago. I was really into him & enjoyed spending time with him. We were not exclusive yet. I wanted to give it a little time to get to know him better .We are both 30. We both live alone in the same area & we both don’t have children. the problem is he’s inconsistent. He initiates most of the contact but if I don’t hear from him in 2-3 days I will reach out, it bothered me that we didn’t have daily communications but I figured I would let things grow naturally. Around that time we were only dating for a few weeks. I know we all have busy work schedule but for the last two months He would text me twice a week & even went one week without speaking to me at all.  Since he became distant I I mentioned that seeing him once a week and sometime not at all bothered me & I would like to see & hear from him more. Because of that, he stayed a weekend at my house and I thought things would progress but instead after he left my house he went 3 weeks without seeing me but will still text me twice a week to check in. I got tired of waiting around and told him (politely) that I would NOT see him anymore. He made a few excuses for why he hasn’t been around ( due to work ) but at the end he said he understood how I felt & told me I was a good person & didn’t want to end it but I made it clear that I was done. I know it’s silly but I can’t stop thinking about him and find myself wondering did he like me for real or was he just having fun. And do you guys think he will contact me again? 

[Kwothe28]

10 minutes ago, Doverlove said:

I know it’s silly but I can’t stop thinking about him and find myself wondering did he like me for real or was he just having fun.

Just wanted sex without commitment. The moment you wanted more commitment he backed off. 

14 minutes ago, Doverlove said:

And do you guys think he will contact me again? 

If he gets into the dry spell maybe. 

If you wanted commitment that is not the man for it.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Doverlove said:

 He made a few excuses for why he hasn’t been around 

Sorry this happened. Unfortunately he was never in with both feet. It's not about "will he contact you?" it's about what you want and a part-time BF doesn't seem to be right for you.

It's only been 16 weeks so cut your losses and delete and block him so you are free to date more compatible men.

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. Unfortunately he was never in with both feet. It's not about "will he contact you?" it's about what you want and a part-time BF doesn't seem to be right for you.

It's only been 16 weeks so cut your losses and delete and block him so you are free to date more compatible men.

Who wanted to give it time to be exclusive -you, him, or you because you sensed he was not that into you? If it was you then you got what you wished for -because with casual dating, it can work beautifully if both people are on the same page - I know of people who date each other whether or not sex is involved but with the option of dating others -they like the same activities, they like the romance, the affection, they like being able to see if the grass is greener and/or not having to answer to each other in a couply way.  But you want more.  He seem to not want more. 

You were fine having sex with him without a commitment and now you are not.  But he is still good with it and also there's sort of a point where people who are looking in general for something serious run out of steam if it's stagnant/status quo - it's possible he's dating someone else he does see serious potential with.  I'm sorry.

If you were telling yourself you weren't ready but you actually were try to avoid lying to yourself about what you want/your standards so you don't hang on too long and get attached to someone who is not that into you.

[Andrina]

8 hours ago, Doverlove said:

I know it’s silly but I can’t stop thinking about him and find myself wondering did he like me for real or was he just having fun. And do you guys think he will contact me again? 

First off, don't bother trying to decipher his mind. It doesn't matter anymore. He didn't meet your needs. Good for you for cutting off something that didn't work for you. You should now block him for closure. Just about every ex I had contacted me again at some point, and that was when blocking wasn't an option on my phone at that time. If it had been, I would've used it since for some of those texts or calls I received, it set my healing back to square one.

Feel good that you've made yourself single for someone who will make you a priority, and can't wait to speak to you daily and to make plans to regularly see you.

In my experience, it took about 4 months to stop thinking of an ex daily after NC, so know what's happening now is a normal step to get where you need to be. Take care and happy holidays.

[smackie9]

Know your worth and know when to call it quits. Date those who treat you the way you expect to be treated. Me personally wouldn't have let this go on for 4 months. I usually gave them 3 weeks, and in that time first impressions count. Don't have time for me? inconsistent contact? that's an automatic boot to the curb.

[Sindy_0311]

I had the same experience with a guy once. We were seeing each other always at my place once or twice a week, he would sleepover, we would speak a lot and he telling me how much he appreciated spending time with me and bla bla. His texting was inconsistant. I Also spent sometime 3 days without hearing from him. I told him after 2 month that I was catching feelings for him( I was stupid and feeling ***y about myself at that time). Now it’s clear to me that he was young and didnt aim for a committed relationship, even tough I suspect he developed some kind of feelings for me, he just wanted FWB. Then he went back to his home country for three month, and I decided to block him. He tried to reach out sometimes, but never really tried something again since he came back. I think your guy is a player, just wants hock up, so I suggest you cut off all contact and go for someone who looks for something serious. It’s harsh, it’s difficult to do but necessary for your self confidence… 

[OliviaJJJ]

Yes, he will contact you again and that's when you say no or don't even respond. Cut off contact and find someone who will treat you well. This guy isn't that person.