Is an office job more attractive than a labor job for those looking for partners?

[Alittlehelpplz]

I ask this because I’m currently transitioning from an office job either into computer work or trade work. Most likely trade.

As I date and tell women what I’m transitioning to, they seem more impressed when I talk about computers over the trade. 
 

the trade gives me a great future with outstanding money and work life balance. So I don’t know why women seem to look down on it. 
 

as I’m making this transition I’m looking more at the trade because of the money and Im already am interning there. 
 

they both can offer 6 figure salaries.

so what’s the problem? 

 

[Alittlehelpplz]

Sorry, didn’t mean to post this in breaking up advice. 

[boltnrun]

I admire men who work in the trades. As you know, the money is excellent. And there are a lot of opportunities as there are not as many people going into the trades. You could easily be a general foreman or superintendent someday. 

I used to work as an onsite office coordinator. I found many of the men working in the trades incredibly attractive. I would have loved to date them. 

I would have been proud if my kids went into the trades.

I can't speak for other women, just myself. Find a woman who appreciates a man who works hard and isn't persnickety about what it is he does to earn an honest living.

[DarkCh0c0]

1 hour ago, Alittlehelpplz said:

so what’s the problem? 

There's no problem. You're generalising.

Every woman is different and will have a different preference. The important part is that you stay true to yourself and the right one will value you for more than your job.

[Andrina]

IMO, those who do things for the wrong reasons, to please others more than themselves, end up being unsuccessful, unhappy, lead shallow lives, and a myriad of other negatives.

Do what makes you happy, and others will be drawn to that happiness.

It's ridiculous to think a majority of women is drawn to one particular type of man working in one particular type of career. 

 

[Kwothe28]

Quote

Is an office job more attractive than a labor job for those looking for partners?

Yes. 

People hate to admit that, but the truth is, you will be judged on various parameters. One of them is your status and money. They dont know how much you earn and will probably never ask unless you told them. But they will assume based on what you tell them. Even though you can maybe earn more with labor job these days(I have a brother from my aunt that is electrician, he is the black sheep of the family as he is the only one without faculty degree, he has bigger salary then all others save to my other brother who is in foreign country) people would assume that with office job your status and money is bigger, therefore you would be more desirable partner based on it. Is it materialistic? Yes. But again, on dating market you would be judged based on various parameters. One of them would be that. So unless you can present how your labor job is so good that you earn 6 figures, office job would always sound "more flashy".

[boltnrun]

Any woman who decides if she will date you based on the "status" or "prestige" of your job title isn't someone you'd want to date anyway. 

I want a man who earns an honest living working at a full time job. Period. 

[Seraphim]

Nope. I don’t care the job or career or whatever as long as they are gainfully employed . 

[lostandhurt]

In the end what matters is your happiness and being content with your life.  Women will come and go in your life but your career will be with you until you retire.

 Do what makes you happy and fulfilled, not what you think some woman might find attractive.

 If you like the trades then go for it because remember we spend a great deal of our lives at work so why not pick something you enjoy.

 Lost

[Cherylyn]

Everyone is different and since we're referring to women, every woman is different. 

I don't think it matters if it's office vs. trade as long as the woman who wants a future with you knows that you can provide a comfortable future for her even if you're dual income, if she supplements your income or if both of you can afford for her to stay home especially while children are very young.  Also, if you're self employed, can you afford benefits such as your own medical insurance and the like?  There is a lot to consider.  Not every woman wants the stresses of financial struggle no matter what job it is white or blue collar. 

Also, as long as you can show her the money and then she'll believe that you are a high income earner.  It really depends on the woman though.  Not every woman is knowledgeable regarding occupations and income.  Some women are ignorant. 

I for one am very picky.  It doesn't matter to me if a man is white collar or blue collar as long as the income provides at least a stable standard of living.  I don't want to be lower middle class either. 

Don't care about what your dates think.  It takes time to learn about occupations, potential earning power, real income, agreeable mutual lifestyles, all of it. 

The painter who paints my interior and exterior house, built his business from nothing and he has since moved up in the world.  He and his family reside in a very affluent neighborhood normally afforded by very high income earners.  My long time painter has a crew who paints residential, commercial and residential properties.  He is the founder and owner of his painting contractor business.  He doesn't get a drop of paint on his hands anymore and hasn't picked up a paint brush nor paint roller in many years.  He has long time clients from many years in the business and the only thing he has to do is get his contracts signed every week.  Life is very good.

[Capricorn3]

3 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Nope. I don’t care the job or career or whatever as long as they are gainfully employed . 

^ Same here.

[Capricorn3]

7 hours ago, Alittlehelpplz said:

Sorry, didn’t mean to post this in breaking up advice. 

Your thread has been moved to the Careers forum.

[catfeeder]

What, exactly, would be the point of trying to impress the wrong woman?

Do you believe that you must market yourself to the masses as though you're selling a product?

If your goal is to find a partner, then your goal is to narrow DOWN your dating pool to ONE woman.

The RIGHT woman will be most impressed with the real you. She'll enjoy your enthusiasm for your chosen career and the overall happiness it brings you.

If you want to pretzel yourself to impress some focus group of white-collar snobs, you can do that. It's just not likely to bring happiness. 

The right woman for you will be attracted to YOUR unique value. If you're willing to sell that out to impress some imaginary herd of fantom women, then you will never meet YOUR right woman. She'll be off seeking someone who is authentic, while the one who's attracted to your self imposed superficiality will expect you to maintain that facade--and you will never feel known by her.

[mylolita]

Women are generally wanting security and competence from a man, I would say.

 

Whether this is from office work or a trade or own business or something other won’t make too much difference unless you start getting into which occupations are seen as “more respectful” or “prestigious”. Some just sound sexier than others.

 

Our friend is a multi-millionaire, just sold his mansion outside of London where he had a boat house and speed boat parked up with a private docking area and outside diving pool. How did he make his money? Pest control! He built up and owns pest control businesses and did employ, before he retired, about 60-120 people. 
 

Other neighbours were stock brokers, musicians, film directors, other business owners, some had made money creating software and security systems for tech. All very different, all big earners. 
 

I think most women aren’t too bothered where the money comes from as long as it is honest and done in a respectful way. 
 

I did have a friend who was hung up on class. She was middle class (I’m from the UK) and wouldn’t even entertain electricians, plumbers, joiners. She wanted to marry a doctor, a lawyer - a professional type. She actually did marry her doctor, but the electrician she turned down is a millionaire now and again, has about 12 guys working for him and drives a huge flashy Range Rover. He will earn far more than her husband who is a doctor. But she liked the class idea of the doctor. She openly admitted it too me. 
 

I’m like a lot of women on here - I really don’t care about the ins and outs of it, as long as the guy is happy enough to do the work, driven and ambitious and can support me and our children, I have absolutely no issue if he tips out dust bins for a living, works as a pilot or anything inbetween. 
 

Some people can be a snob when it comes to a job description. They will take on all the stresses of manager or supervisor for hardly anymore monetary reward than the previous role they have below them, just to have that badge, title - saying “manager” or “director”. I really don’t care and it doesn’t impress me much, but I do understand in reality, some women are superficial about all that status and title and do care. But, are those the types of women you want anyway? 
 

Or is it better to have someone who admires your drive, no matter how and what you put it into?

 

x

[mylolita]

I will say, two firemen came to our house to fit smoke alarms and holy smokes - HOT! 
 

LOL! 
 

A man in uniform and a brave one who throws himself in burning buildings to save children? Okay! That’ll do! LOL! Forget the coin! 
 

x

[MissCanuck]

If a man makes a secure, livable income and has a steady job I don't really care what sort of job he does. 

[Wiseman2]

16 hours ago, Alittlehelpplz said:

As I date and tell women what I’m transitioning to, they seem more impressed when I talk about computers over the trade. So what’s the problem? 

The problem is TMI. Talk about who you are now on dates. Choose your field according to your needs and interests, not according to how coffee-date women react, as if a test or survey. 

Talking about this on casual early dates makes you seem indecisive, unstable and frankly, like you're talking to strangers about what you want to do when you grow up.

Save the career talk for friends and family.

[mylolita]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

The problem is TMI. Talk about who you are now on dates. Choose your field according to your needs and interests, not according to how coffee-date women react, as if a test or survey. 

Talking about this on casual early dates makes you seem indecisive, unstable and frankly, like you're talking to strangers about what you want to do when you grow up.

Save the career talk for friends and family.

 

[Batya33]

16 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

There's no problem. You're generalising.

Every woman is different and will have a different preference. The important part is that you stay true to yourself and the right one will value you for more than your job.

People are individuals.  To me work ethic and ambition about a career was essential -I wanted someone who was compatible to me in those ways -salary was not as essential.  Financial stability was -which was what I also brought "to the table."  I admired and was friendly with people in trades and in blue collar jobs too.  My grandpa was an immigrant with a blue collar business he grew from nothing to a point where he could provide for his family. I was and am incredibly proud of and in awe of him.  I didn't want someone with just an office job - and where it was just a job to him- unless the person also had something more than a hobby that was his true passion -the arts, for example. 

But other people look for partners without regard to what their job is or their academic accomplishments for a variety of reasons.  Some people have trust funds and are happy to not work and share the income with a future partner so they can travel around or whatever.  Some people prefer to live on government assistance and be more nomadic -move around a lot and perhaps work at a job from time to time as needed, some people pursue their art or trade full time whether or not it allows them to live on the income and make do on very limited budgets.  People have different values.  It's not gender-based.  

The best thing is to follow your personal dreams and goals.  I dated someone a few times who told me on the first meet he was a physician's assistant and loved his job.  He was in his 30s.  I had a grad degree and it was obvious to him (not because I shared it -common knowledge) that I made a lot more $ and had the potential to make even more.  I found him too needy/insecure and gave it one more chance. 

All of a sudden he's telling me he's going to finish college and apply to med school and be a doctor.  That wasn't true.  He was saying that because he felt insecure and thought I wanted to hear that.  That was a huge turn off to me.  Be true to yourself.  You will meet someone who appreciates that quality in you, as they should!

[Cherylyn]

My plumber is a millionaire several times over.  He has a fleet of plumber trucks and vans.  He is the founder and owner and his company crew of over 120 plumbers do all the work.  He has an office staff doing all the administrative work.  I see his contracting business throughout my city and my suburban residential neighborhood.  He also does extensive commercial and industrial work such as enormous grocery store chains and hospitals.  Blue collar workers can very well out earn white collar workers by far. 

To me, it doesn't matter whether it's white collar or blue collar.  Salary is essential because if I were to marry, I certainly don't want a lifetime of financial struggle and hardship.  I've already lived it during my childhood and I certainly vowed never to repeat my mother's poor choices and mistakes!  I'm glad I listened to my instincts.  When I visited my mother several days ago, she always says to me, "You married well."  Not only is my husband a great provider (I work, too), he's also a very moral man.  It's a win win.  It's everything.  It's not only about income.  Character is emphasized, too.

[Batya33]

My friend's daughter is married to a guy who has been in the trucking industry since he literally was a kid (family business). Went out on his own at like age 20.  They married in their teens about 8 years ago.  He is VERY successful.  He works so so hard and travels a lot.  She takes care of their 3 young kids.  She has no marketable skills, no degrees.  Her parents each have grad degrees.  She is over the moon happily married, happy momma.  As long as they are careful with $ and save properly given how wildly successful he is in his blue collar industry (I don't even think he graduated HS) they're fine financially and she doesn't care about or value education or a specific type of job.  She wants to live comfortably and be a stay at home momma.  Different strokes!