Anything I should do or leave it?

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

M21 been snapping this girl 19F for a couple months. We haven’t actually said a word to each other it’s just been back and forth face pictures, normally she responds pretty quick within 10-20 minutes. Last night I snapped her like usual and I would say I was looking better than normal, she opened it and like 3 minutes later requested to follow me on my private Instagram.

I didn’t really think it was a coincidence and plus she’s kinda cute so I decided to try and start a conversation so last night I snapped her a picture with a joke saying something like “thanks for being my newest follower” in hopes we’d start talking but she didn’t respond until this morning and it was just a regular face picture. It was like 10 hours later she saw and snapped me back and she sent it back at 6am so maybe she thought it would be awkward to try and continue it since by then it was yesterday?  

Anyways is there anything I should say/do to spark a conversation or just leave it? 

Also FWIW I’m pretty sure when she requested to follow at first she had 6 posts but when I requested to follow her later I saw she only has 1 now, but maybe I’m seeing things

[boltnrun]

I guess I don't understand. Is "snapping" what young people are doing these days instead of actually meeting in person and dating? How are you supposed to kiss a girl if all your interactions are over an electronic device?

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

I guess I don't understand. Is "snapping" what young people are doing these days instead of actually meeting in person and dating? How are you supposed to kiss a girl if all your interactions are over an electronic device?

It’s just a form of social media

[boltnrun]

2 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

It’s just a form of social media

I know what it is, but I'm not sure what the point is. Or what your end goal with this girl is. 

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

30 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I know what it is, but I'm not sure what the point is. Or what your end goal with this girl is. 

The end goal is to just start talking to her, she randomly found my Instagram right after I sent her a picture and I’m assuming someone won’t go out of their way to do that unless they’re trying to show they’re interested in you

[smackie9]

She didn't respond so she obviously doesn't want to take this to the next level....she's just enjoying the attention. 

[boltnrun]

12 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

The end goal is to just start talking to her, she randomly found my Instagram right after I sent her a picture and I’m assuming someone won’t go out of their way to do that unless they’re trying to show they’re interested in you

Or they're trying to increase their followers. Apparently that's important to some people.

[Tinydance]

So you just want to chat to her online? Does she live locally or she's in another state/country? I mean if she's far away you probably won't be able to meet her. But if you just like chatting online you can keep doing it.

[Andrina]

Where does she live? If close by, send her a message saying, "Want to meet up at XYZ for drinks next Saturday night?" If you think building up to some sort of cyber relationship is needed before this happens, you're wrong. I know I grew frustrated if a guy took too long to do the asking and think: What the hell is he waiting for? If she says yes or suggests an alternate date, you will get your wish. If she says no or maybe another time without follow through, you will be able to emotionally move on and waste no further time. If she lives far away, I recommend dating locally instead of thinking cyber space makes this a small world, because that's an illusion and is not realistic dating.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

  Anyways is there anything I should say/do to spark a conversation or just leave it? 

Ok. You've done a lot of the preliminary tiptoeing around, but that will get stale. You'll have to message her to get a conversation started if the goal is to eventually ask her out.

Make sure you don't put yourself in the friendzone or worse, fanzone.  It's ok to ease in slowly when sliding into DMs but eventually you'll have to move forward.

[Kwothe28]

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

guess I don't understand. Is "snapping" what young people are doing these days instead of actually meeting in person and dating?

Snapchat is some lame app where you send a message and it gets deleted after the person reads it. At least that is how it was before. Also you have some kind of score so you know other person is active because score gets bigger. At least from what Ive gathered from other users of app, never used it lol

2 hours ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

Anyways is there anything I should say/do to spark a conversation or just leave it? 

 

What was she suppose to answer to "Thanks for being my follower"? Ask her a question and she maybe will. Also, dunno if I talked to you or some other user not to get invested too much in stuff like that. If she answers, good. If she doesnt, no biggie. Ask her something and see lol

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

1 hour ago, Andrina said:

Where does she live? If close by, send her a message saying, "Want to meet up at XYZ for drinks next Saturday night?" If you think building up to some sort of cyber relationship is needed before this happens, you're wrong. I know I grew frustrated if a guy took too long to do the asking and think: What the hell is he waiting for? If she says yes or suggests an alternate date, you will get your wish. If she says no or maybe another time without follow through, you will be able to emotionally move on and waste no further time. If she lives far away, I recommend dating locally instead of thinking cyber space makes this a small world, because that's an illusion and is not realistic dating.

She lives in the same town as me, it’s just Snapchat is very popular for people in my age to communicate through 

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok. You've done a lot of the preliminary tiptoeing around, but that will get stale. You'll have to message her to get a conversation started if the goal is to eventually ask her out.

Make sure you don't put yourself in the friendzone or worse, fanzone.  It's ok to ease in slowly when sliding into DMs but eventually you'll have to move forward.

You think I’d be cool to just ask her what she’s up to or is that too random and sudden? 

[Batya33]

How do you know she is the one reacting and it's not someone else with access to her account -or who's using her photos? Unless you're comfortable suggesting a phone call and then asking her to meet in person at the end of that phone call I wouldn't waste my time with these interactions that are so many steps removed from personal contact - 

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

35 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

How do you know she is the one reacting and it's not someone else with access to her account -or who's using her photos? Unless you're comfortable suggesting a phone call and then asking her to meet in person at the end of that phone call I wouldn't waste my time with these interactions that are so many steps removed from personal contact - 

It’s somebody who lives in my town 

[Batya33]

8 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

It’s somebody who lives in my town 

If you are sure this is her account ask her for her phone number, then call and have a conversation.  If the conversation goes well suggest meeting up.  If she won't give you her phone number move on and assume she has no interest in getting to know you better.  She might be interested in typing or clicking back and forth but that's all. I would type nothing else - a person who is looking to meet people for dates will be fine giving a way to make appropriate contact - speaking by phone.

[boltnrun]

2 hours ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

You think I’d be cool to just ask her what she’s up to or is that too random and sudden? 

It's lame,TBH. No creativity.

Why not ask for her Insta or her Facebook and message her there?

2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Snapchat is some lame app where you send a message and it gets deleted after the person reads it.

I know what the app is, I'm just puzzled why it would take the place of actually meeting people.

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

4 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

It's lame,TBH. No creativity.

Why not ask for her Insta or her Facebook and message her there?

I know what the app is, I'm just puzzled why it would take the place of actually meeting people.

I have her Instagram bro she followed me on it yesterday and I followed her back. Snapchat is way more personal than Instagram ultimately the best thing I would need is her number

[Batya33]

13 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

I have her Instagram bro she followed me on it yesterday and I followed her back. Snapchat is way more personal than Instagram ultimately the best thing I would need is her number

Neither is personal in the least for purposes of possibly meeting in person.  If you think you might have something in common with this person and you're interested in dating her, don't tell yourself stories about what is personal about interacting online. It's not.  

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

I have her Instagram bro she followed me on it yesterday and I followed her back. 

Unfortunately you're making too many lateral moves going from social media to social media stalling in circles.

Message her on SC and ask her to go for coffee, a drink, a date,etc. You don't even need her number yet. Don't go from social media to texting as that is yet again a lateral move. 

Snapping, texting, DMing, etc is not dating. Dating is dating. What social media app you're on is irrelevant.

It's surprising you won't use popular dating apps, unless the point of this exercise is a bunch of female followers?

[boltnrun]

44 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

I have her Instagram bro she followed me on it yesterday and I followed her back. Snapchat is way more personal than Instagram ultimately the best thing I would need is her number

I'm not a "bro" lol. But the fact you thought I'm a guy illustrates how totally pointless it is to try to communicate over an electronic device.

Ask her out.

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I'm not a "bro" lol. But the fact you thought I'm a guy illustrates how totally pointless it is to try to communicate over an electronic device.

Ask her out.

Pre-internet, pre-cell phone, a very shy man in his 20s met a coworker in her 20s  a couple of times over a 9 month period.  There were 3 brief conversations each time which were at crowded company events.  He was so very shy but thought she was cute and nice.  He even had a conference call with his "bros" (not from work -from home) as to whether he should ask her out to lunch during a workday. I mean he'd only met her three times in 9 months and they worked together and they had pleasant conversations but......

The very very shy man called his coworker's internal extension.  The coworker (me!) thought -that's odd that he's calling me -we're in totally different departments - and the conversation lasted less than 3 minutes but included "would you like to have lunch?"  Yes.  Plans were made for the following week.  

We ended up breaking up 2 years later but then got back together 7 years after that.  Been married quite a long time now. 

But for sure -I never ever would have asked him out, I actually didn't think of him in that way much, I was casually dating someone else, but if he had hemmed and hawed or been indirect (meaning, in 1995 if he'd called me and tried just to chat me up -I'd have ended the call because we worked so hard back then and were always so busy) - he got up his courage, and cut to the chase with the lunch suggestion because his goal was to get to know me in person one on one and he made that obvious.  And I liked that!