I'm new here signed up hi, just had some questions dont judge? got some questions

[WaterProofCandy]

1) am I viable for dating? do I make enough money? I make 25 an hour and I work in a hospital hopefully thats enough for women?

not a sexist or a simp , i respect the women I work with ( its a lot )

 

2) I have not dated anyone im 33 is it too late to start?

 

3) spend my 20's working in college and just playing video games

 

4)is 5inches enough if I do plan to have sex with a girl? or like am i not able to have sex with that size?

 

5) does height matter? im 189 cm's but im skinny/thin/bike ride a lot

 

6) do i have to make the first move? i must be ugly because noone ever asked me out lol

 

7) should I wait until im older 40's 50's+ to start dating once I get enough life expierence?

 

I suffer from anxiety/low self asteem can I still get a date? I can talk to people at my work (going to school for nursing soon) but I just keep my head down low and only spoke when people talk to me otherwise im quiet

 

idk what ass i came out of but even tho I never dated anyone I still simp or give $ to a the opposite gender its weird maybe low self asteem low self worth but idk

8 )  i think my mind is screwy not mental health wise but i just dont know what to do, all these red pil videos and black pill videos got me confused i really dont know anything about women,

 

9) is okay to approach a girl will that be creepy? im black I dont wanna get excused of anything sexual, 

[Jibralta]

1. Your dating 'viability' has more to do with the way that you interact with other people (both women and men) than it does with with your income or your job.

2. No

3. Ok

4. I don't measure penises, but I'm sure it's fine.

5. It depends on the person. Different people have different preferences.

6. No, but it helps. 

7. I don't think there's any reason to wait. Stop talking about yourself as coming out of an ass. Have some self respect.

8. Stop watching these videos. This is not National Geographic. Talk to real people more, both men and women. Get to know the people you work with. Everybody is not your enemy.

9. It depends on the girl. I don't like to be approached cold.

Don't forget: everybody is not your enemy. Most people are just going about their daily life, thinking about their own problems, not thinking about you at all. You don't know them; they don't know you. You have a clean slate. Just be nice, be receptive, and be respectful to others. Interact with people, don't watch videos about them. You're part of the human race.

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

 all these red pil videos and black pill videos got me confused.

Why are you watching that trash? It's a bunch of hate group propaganda.

Get off the reddit toilet and get off the incels sites.

 

[WaterProofCandy]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why are you watching that trash? It's a bunch of hate group propaganda.

Get off the reddit toilet and get off the incels sites.

 

isnt that advice good tho?

[WaterProofCandy]

3 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Don't forget: everybody is not your enemy. Most people are just going about their daily life, thinking about their own problems, not thinking about you at all. You don't know them; they don't know you. You have a clean slate. Just be nice, be receptive, and be respectful to others. Interact with people, don't watch videos about them. You're part of the human race.

 

so in ur opinion most people arnt looking @ me? or thinking about me?

[Seraphim]

17 minutes ago, WaterProofCandy said:

 

so in ur opinion most people arnt looking @ me? or thinking about me?

What we all need to understand is 99.9% of the time people are thinking of themselves and their life. People aren’t looking at you. That is paranoia. 

[WaterProofCandy]

thanks for the replies off to work now, soon nursing 🤪

[Jibralta]

46 minutes ago, WaterProofCandy said:

so in ur opinion most people arnt looking @ me? or thinking about me?

Correct.

[Kwothe28]

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

1) am I viable for dating? do I make enough money? I make 25 an hour and I work in a hospital hopefully thats enough for women?

 

Depends. "Viable for dating" means a lot of stuff. Having a steady income is a plus but you would still have people looking down based on profession or income. 

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

2) I have not dated anyone im 33 is it too late to start?

 

No. I have a friend that got his first relationship around that time and now he is married. So its never too late if you have a right attitude.

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

3) spend my 20's working in college and just playing video games

 

Why? College was ideal time to get some experience in dating.

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

4)is 5inches enough if I do plan to have sex with a girl? or like am i not able to have sex with that size?

 

I guess its enough? You watched too much porn but that is about average size so you should be able to satisfy a girl if you know what you are doing.

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

5) does height matter? im 189 cm's but im skinny/thin/bike ride a lot

 

Women do love tall guys so that is a plus

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

6) do i have to make the first move? i must be ugly because noone ever asked me out lol

 

In most of times yes. Taking a number, flirting, calling on dates, in most times you would be required to take initiative. Its 21st century and there are cases otherwise but in most times you as a man are still expected to take initiave.

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

7) should I wait until im older 40's 50's+ to start dating once I get enough life expierence?

 

No? You are not required "life experience" to date. Its harder because you never dated but you need to start somewhere.

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

I suffer from anxiety/low self asteem can I still get a date? I can talk to people at my work (going to school for nursing soon) but I just keep my head down low and only spoke when people talk to me otherwise im quiet

 

Lots of introvert people date. Its harder because of not being assertive and low self-esteem but its achievable

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

8 )  i think my mind is screwy not mental health wise but i just dont know what to do, all these red pil videos and black pill videos got me confused i really dont know anything about women,

 

You should maybe talk to a professional about those issues. It would maybe help with self-esteem issues also.

11 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

9) is okay to approach a girl will that be creepy? im black I dont wanna get excused of anything sexual, 

Accused of what? Aproaching somebody wont get you accused of rape. I mean there are weird ones out there. You would maybe get rude answers, even offended ones. But you need to start at least trying.

[smackie9]

Step one :change your perception/attitude.

Sept two: get help with your anxiety, whether you seek therapy/medication, life coach/dating coach, take a public speech course, etc to boost confidence.

Step three: ditch the video games, and the geek stuff. Women want a man not a man child.

Step four: find mature hobbies like wine tasting, hiking, fishing, art, music. Something that will give you some substance, intellect. 

Step five: Update your look. Get yourself some style, new look, hair style, new wardrobe. This will get you noticed. 

Step six: get on some dating apps, present your new look with some good photos, and a simple description about yourself. Now you are off to the races. 

[Tinydance]

Yes you can have sex with any size penis lol No I don't think you should wait another 20 years to start dating. Why wait when you can start now?

[Tinydance]

Also on that note, I live in Australia and we don't use inches here, we use centimetres. So I don't really understand measurements in inches so I usually compare them to the length of a six inch sub from Subway because it's my only point of reference. Based on that five inches seems pretty decent? Lol

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Based on that five inches seems pretty decent? Lol

5.00in = 12.7cm. 🍌 Not that this matters if someone is on reddit red pill/black pill.💊

[jul-els]

None of those things you’re asking about matter. You can let them go. There’s only one thing that matters. And that’s finding someone who will take you as you are and for whom you can do the same. That’s it. Nothing more and nothing less. 

[WaterProofCandy]

5 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Step one :change your perception/attitude.

Sept two: get help with your anxiety, whether you seek therapy/medication, life coach/dating coach, take a public speech course, etc to boost confidence.

Step three: ditch the video games, and the geek stuff. Women want a man not a man child.

Step four: find mature hobbies like wine tasting, hiking, fishing, art, music. Something that will give you some substance, intellect. 

Step five: Update your look. Get yourself some style, new look, hair style, new wardrobe. This will get you noticed. 

Step six: get on some dating apps, present your new look with some good photos, and a simple description about yourself. Now you are off to the races. 

the rest yes but

 

>

Step three: ditch the video games, and the geek stuff. Women want a man not a man child.

 

no to that just no If i do get into a relationship tho... I will def cut down playing video games by 80% but to stop it completely no, I enjoy computers math and the universe, james webb telescope etc

 

I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to help me and give me advice

 

Once I go back to school for nursing I will focus go the gym and improve myself

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, WaterProofCandy said:

Once I go back to school for nursing I will focus go the gym and improve myself

You can start tomorrow.  Find exercise videos online -you say you're computer savvy and/or do brisk walking outside including if possible hills/inclines for at least 20-30 minutes without stopping -you can even wear wrist weights if you like.  You don't have to go to a gym to improve your health.

[Tinydance]

3 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

the rest yes but

 

>

Step three: ditch the video games, and the geek stuff. Women want a man not a man child.

 

no to that just no If i do get into a relationship tho... I will def cut down playing video games by 80% but to stop it completely no, I enjoy computers math and the universe, james webb telescope etc

 

I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to help me and give me advice

 

Once I go back to school for nursing I will focus go the gym and improve myself

I don't think you need to ditch video games and "geek stuff" completely if that's who you are and what you're into. I think it's important to be yourself.

The thing about playing video games too much though is that you can end up being isolated and spending too much time alone. Which doesn't help you meet women. Last year I briefly dated a guy who was a hermit basically his whole life and only played video games all the time with his online friends. He was 30 and had never dated or had sex or anything. The other thing was he said he was really happy he had finally found someone but instead of doing things with me he mostly just kept playing video games. I tried talking to him about it and he said he didn't think it was an issue, so I broke up with him. I didn't want to date someone who doesn't do anything together as a couple.

Do you have any other hobbies or interests you might be able to do where you can meet other people?

Also usually I don't think women would ask men out unless they actually somewhat know him or at least had a conversation. It's not common for women to just see a guy and go up to him and ask him out. Unless maybe in a bar or night club environment. It doesn't mean you're ugly if women haven't asked you out but it probably just means you haven't actually interacted with them. You need to mingle with women, even have female friends so you can socialise and get to know their friends. You can't expect anyone will ask you out if you don't hang out with any women.

[itsallgrand]

Congrats on getting into nursing school! That's awesome. Good for you, man.

It might be a great opportunity too to make some new friends or even just, positive interactions with both men and women who have something in common with you. That in itself can get the ball rolling on building up your self esteem.  If you go in with an attitude of, I'll try to be open to being friendly and get out of my comfort zone a bit, it can be eye opening sometimes.

Your questions are a lot to take in.  And honestly, I wouldn't focus too much on that if you want out of the rut..

Of course you can date, it's not too late, and things don't have to stay the same for you. But yes, it does take some effort. Others have given some concrete steps you can take right away. It's a long run , not a sprint. Do a little something bit by bit that will take you where you want to be.

Delete reddit and those other sites that feed the negativity lol.

[WaterProofCandy]

The thing about playing video games too much though is that you can end up being isolated and spending too much time alone. Which doesn't help you meet women. Last year I briefly dated a guy who was a hermit basically his whole life and only played video games all the time with his online friends. He was 30 and had never dated or had sex or anything. The other thing was he said he was really happy he had finally found someone but instead of doing things with me he mostly just kept playing video games. I tried talking to him about it and he said he didn't think it was an issue, so I broke up with him. I didn't want to date someone who doesn't do anything together as a couple.

 

>honestly thats just dumb even tho I PLAY LOTS if i had a girlfriend we would go to sushi or do biking togethee be gym buddies and grow together. Lemme tell you this right now I do play lots of video games sit in my room a lot but if i had a gf i would prob drop it i wouldnt sit at home while shes downstairs what the heck? right now if someone offered me a nursing JOB over seas i would jump, im mature but i havent really partied and did that stuff so im kinda weird/akward

 

but damn u actually stayed with him good on u , you gave him a chance I suppose right?

[WaterProofCandy]

its weird tho i might play lots of video games right to the point of being comfy in my room but somehow i got the urge to get my ass is to school who knows i might go 180 lol and I wont deny it you guys are right Im not gonna be here and say yeah ur wrong 

[Tinydance]

55 minutes ago, WaterProofCandy said:

The thing about playing video games too much though is that you can end up being isolated and spending too much time alone. Which doesn't help you meet women. Last year I briefly dated a guy who was a hermit basically his whole life and only played video games all the time with his online friends. He was 30 and had never dated or had sex or anything. The other thing was he said he was really happy he had finally found someone but instead of doing things with me he mostly just kept playing video games. I tried talking to him about it and he said he didn't think it was an issue, so I broke up with him. I didn't want to date someone who doesn't do anything together as a couple.

 

>honestly thats just dumb even tho I PLAY LOTS if i had a girlfriend we would go to sushi or do biking togethee be gym buddies and grow together. Lemme tell you this right now I do play lots of video games sit in my room a lot but if i had a gf i would prob drop it i wouldnt sit at home while shes downstairs what the heck? right now if someone offered me a nursing JOB over seas i would jump, im mature but i havent really partied and did that stuff so im kinda weird/akward

 

but damn u actually stayed with him good on u , you gave him a chance I suppose right?

Well I dated him for 2.5 months but I think because he had always been single, he was very set in his ways. I would be at his place but he didn't really want to do anything together and he would just be playing video games and I'd be by myself in another room. I talked to him about it and he actually said: "Well why is it an issue?" We can be a couple but we can do our own things. I can play video games and you can just do something else, whatever you want. It's like, yeah, then I can just be single and do "whatever I want" lol

Having said that though, if you met a woman who's also a massive gamer and you want to play video games together, then that's probably fine. The main thing is to actually be together as a couple (not all the time) and share some similar interests. Do you play video games alone or do online gaming where you play with other people? Do you play with any girls online?

[WaterProofCandy]

I just wanna do anything with a girl but im too scared my penis size is small my breath might smell I might not be alpha she might cheat on me, too small lol also sexual performance lol

 

im just not sure yet its too risky i could get cheated on a girl could leave me for numerious reasons

[Tinydance]

7 minutes ago, WaterProofCandy said:

I just wanna do anything with a girl but im too scared my penis size is small my breath might smell I might not be alpha she might cheat on me, too small lol also sexual performance lol

 

im just not sure yet its too risky i could get cheated on a girl could leave me for numerious reasons

Um these are always risks of any relationship. Just the same as one day you might walk out of your front door and get hit by a car and die. Does that mean you don't leave the house?

[WaterProofCandy]

100% titan dance fear controls me but I had questions for you off topic I wanted to DM but i didnt wanna be a creep

 

i got good advice here lol my questions are ik odd im weird im not perfect i got stuff to work on

 

1) how did u meet this person who played tons of video games

 

2) how old was he  how old are you

 

3) was he quiet introverted?

 

4) did he live with his parents have a job?

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

>honestly thats just dumb even tho I PLAY LOTS if i had a girlfriend we would go to sushi or do biking togethee be gym buddies and grow together. Lemme tell you this right now I do play lots of video games sit in my room a lot but if i had a gf i would prob drop it i wouldnt sit at home while shes downstairs what the heck? right now if someone offered me a nursing JOB over seas i would jump, im mature but i havent really partied and did that stuff so im kinda weird/akward

 

but damn u actually stayed with him good on u , you gave him a chance I suppose right?

So the issue is that women who are active, who have a fun and fulfilling life, who are ambitious, passionate about their work and/or volunteer work, etc - they don't want to hope you will change, they don't want the burden of changing you -that's not fair- so on first impression they will be mighty suspicious  that you want to do the things you say you would do if you had a girlfriend.

Here are things I did by myself when I was single:

volunteer work, hiking, gym, dance classes, book club, dinner club, club med singles resort (yes I went by myself, 4 times), singles events, religious events.

I didn't passively wait to find a partner to do anything. I lived my life, I lived it actively.  I lived it purposefully and with energy, ambition, passion.  When my husband and I had our very first lunch date we were in our late 20s.  One of the very first questions he asked me was why I chose to go into the line of work we both were in.  I had a whole backstory that had started when I was 15 and did an internship.  I asked him later why he asked me and he said -he wanted to date women who were ambitious and passionate about their work.  He wanted that in common. 

If I'd said something like "my job is just a job - but when I meet someone special I'm sure I'll be motivated to pursue what I really want to do" I doubt he would have been excited to ask me out again.  

I dated a number of adult men who told me what their vague plans were in the future - I often was uncomfortable if there was no forward movement, no steps taken, no specific plan.  One said he wanted to go to med school.  He was in his early 30s.  He hadn't applied, taken pre-med courses, etc -turned out he was saying it to get me to date him I guess.  Another was unemployed temporarily which was fine but he was sitting around in his apartment day trading aimlessly.  Another had plans to move out of his mom's house but had had these plans for a long time. 

First impressions count a lot.  Adult women who have future goals don't want the burden of having to inspire or motivate you to get out of the house and do stuff.