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Chapter 3


dias

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6 hours ago, dias said:

well I told her the truth that she had a hot body. I knew that moment it will end things forever which it did as she felt sexually rejected.

Yes that gave you an easier way out -she got the message again.  I'm glad you're moving on and that she is as well.

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On a different subject, eventually I got hired for the American project. Despite the fact I chased it I am not sure it was the right choice hahaha. There is a lot of miscommunication between the team members. They haven't even gathered the client's requirements. The only entertaining thing is that the team is half Russians who live either in the US or Eastern Europe and the other half Americans. It's interesting to see how those two collaborate hahahaha. Thank God, given my background I can easily communicate with both hehe. 

Anyway, in the Greek office we played a game. A game to see what each person understands listening to the same things. As we all know, everyone understands something different despite being on the same call and listening to the same things. So, one manager gave instructions of what to draw on power point using simple lines. He had an original drawing from his side and he had to give instructions and we had to listen carefully and draw the same thing. The drawing was a paper boat. You would think simple right? You just follow the instructions and you draw it. Well, out of 8 people I was the only one that got it right, the rest drew something completely different. And I am thinking how is it possible; those people have master degrees and 15+ years of experience and they can't even follow simple instructions. Go figure. 

I believe from next year I will try something on my own again on the side. I am starting to feel ready again.I am selling my self short wasting my life for those people and the corporate world.

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3 hours ago, dias said:

She looks pretty normal. Or maybe it's a facade

I have to say Dias! 
 

Does anyone else find Lex insanely boring, uninterested and LOW energy?! How do you sit through his podcasts without bringing on a stroke?! I get five minutes in and I’m urging him like a baby trying to talk, “Come on! You can do it! Get it out!!!”
 

I think you might appreciate this… 🤣🤣

 

 

LMAOOOOO x

 

 

 

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18 hours ago, mylolita said:

I have to say Dias! 
 

Does anyone else find Lex insanely boring, uninterested and LOW energy?! How do you sit through his podcasts without bringing on a stroke?! I get five minutes in and I’m urging him like a baby trying to talk, “Come on! You can do it! Get it out!!!”
 

I think you might appreciate this… 🤣🤣

 

 

LMAOOOOO x

 

 

 

Hahahahahahaha yes I get what you mean. Actually I do find him interesting, he is a clever person, but at the same time he is boring too. Very monotonous. Almost all scientists are monotonous though, it's the job believe me. Hahaha. I mainly listen to his guests. 

But I do understand why you find him boring. You are high energy, you need someone like you to spark your interest. 

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It's 32+ Celsius here, everybody is complaining except ME hahahahaha. I love it, I love the sun, I love when the sunlight kisses my skin. I love it. I love it. I adore it. The summer is not enough for me, I need warm sunny weather all year round. 

The Russian colleagues who got transferred to the US chose Florida and Texas to live. At first they were sent to Boston but they wanted warm weather. Even Russians want warm weather. Man, what I really want right now, in an imaginary world, is to get transferred to Florida, ask those Russian colleagues to bring me a hot Russian chick to marry and start my own business. This is the dream. The best place in the best country with the hottest girl. The best from the best. 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, one can only dream................................................................................................................

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On 7/5/2024 at 10:58 AM, dias said:

Hahahahahahaha yes I get what you mean. Actually I do find him interesting, he is a clever person, but at the same time he is boring too. Very monotonous. Almost all scientists are monotonous though, it's the job believe me. Hahaha. I mainly listen to his guests. 

But I do understand why you find him boring. You are high energy, you need someone like you to spark your interest. 

If Peterson hadn’t machined him down Dias, I would have 🤣

 

I love the “Lemme, errr, table the turns, I mean, turn the tables on you” and it cuts to Peterson mouth agap with his hand up then letting it flop back down LOL that gets me every time! God, the editing 😂 I can watch that on a morning just to get me started hahahahahaha! 
 

And oh Lordy do you think so? Weirdly someone said that to me today at the supermarket! We’re about to potentially take on another renovation Dias and this Mum was like “I don’t have your energy though” and I just replied “ENERGY?” 🤣🕺🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨

 

The fastest check out girl can’t keep up with me bagging stuff whilst talking to the kids and now and then I touch her hand as she’s just about scanned it and I laugh my ass off because it is hilarious and awkward and now we joke about it 👹

 

I’m high! Just had a FREEING dance round la cuisine 💃💃💃💃

 

How’re tricks? 
 

x

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We still talk with this girl as friends. Well, she stayed at my place for the weekend and we had a good time but we agreed it is not going to last. She is dating others so I expect we won't have sex anymore which is fine. We keep it touch though as friends at least for now.

Anyway, she sent me the diet her doctor gave her. It's so freakin restrictive, yes it's going to work temporarily because the calories are too low and it's full of supplements but I am sure she will gain all the weight back and then some. Doctors want money, they don't provide sustainable solutions. Sustainable solutions don't need supplements, they need an active lifestyle and making exercise way of life. I showed her my way, sure it's boring as hell, but it's the fastest and more effective way in the long term. To solve this issue for life. Instead she went to the doctor and started crossfit (neither because of me by the way so before you jump in and accuse me: .!. ). Well, I bet all my money she is going to lose weight for a year or two and then gain back a lot more. Hope she proves me wrong. 

What surprised me the most actually is that on the weekend while we got tipsy when it's easier for truths to be blurted out, she told me she does not like the fact that I am an introvert and that I don't have social status and money. The introvert comment I kind of expected it as she is an extrovert but I didn't expect the comment about the social status and money. I might not have social status as an engineer but I do make very decent money. She dated doctors and lawyers before and her father is a self-made man so I get where this is coming from but I just didn't expect it as she seems very down to earth. Very very interesting. So I am not good enough for her either, I think it's mutual now hahahaha. Well, in the end we want someone like us, we value completely different things. I care a lot about looks among other things, she cares a lot about social status and money. 

See, all good, we were not meant to be together. 

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I'd avoid sending her diet advice especially since very often men and women react to diets/lose weight differently. Just like you cannot deal with her extra weight she has preferences about what she calls social status. She does seem like she yo yo diets.  So many people do!! (not me).  But I'd stay out of her health matters 100%.  Let her do her own thing.

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On 7/12/2024 at 2:39 AM, Batya33 said:

I'd avoid sending her diet advice especially since very often men and women react to diets/lose weight differently. Just like you cannot deal with her extra weight she has preferences about what she calls social status. She does seem like she yo yo diets.  So many people do!! (not me).  But I'd stay out of her health matters 100%.  Let her do her own thing.

No I am not giving any advice, she does it her own way. I tried to explain to her why an active lifestyle is important in the long term and diet alone is not a solution. Regulating your weight with diet alone is usually a recipe for disaster in the long term, you regulate your weight with exercise. But hey, to each his own.

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We met on Thursday, she was in the city center so I asked her if she wanted to come to my office. We went out for a drink after this and ended up in a hotel apparently hahaha. These were good 5 hours of rough sex. Damn, she likes it rough and she wakes up my basic instincts with this. I haven't done so much hair pulling and slapping in my life. That was good sex. 

She teared up at some point saying she doesn't want to lose me. I don't want to lose her either and I reminded her we agreed we will stay friends. She said it's not the same and the sexual chemistry she has with me is beyond normal, she wants to have sex with me all day everyday for the rest of our lives. We do have chemistry, mine is more about the communication part as I haven't found this before. I had more sexual chemistry with other girls before from my side but I never had such chemistry in terms of personality with another girl. It's really strange. It's the feeling you have that you know the other person for years whilst in reality we know each other 1.5 months. 

So far in my life, the girls I liked didn't like me back and with girls that liked me I didn't feel the same. Although now it's not exactly mutual from my side, it's the first time I have so much chemistry with a girl who likes me this much. So this is how it feels like. That's something new to me. 

She says she is in love with me, I don't believe it, she is a player*. I don't have a problem with this, I like that we talk so transparently. We have pretty good communication and we laugh a lot. I love this part. She is going out with a uni professor now who has a PhD from Cambridge and they work on the same field so I believe it's a better match. He has the social status she so desires hahaha.  She is going to move on quickly I think. Although I do like having sex with her,  losing the sex part is not that important, but I would like to keep her as a friend in my life at least. 

Dunno, we will see....

*You would think the good looking people are the players. Nope, usually it's the average looking people who are the players in both genders. Isn't that funny?

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7 hours ago, dias said:

No I am not giving any advice, she does it her own way. I tried to explain to her why an active lifestyle is important in the long term and diet alone is not a solution. Regulating your weight with diet alone is usually a recipe for disaster in the long term, you regulate your weight with exercise. But hey, to each his own.

I have heard it's more about the food then exercise but for me - exercising motivates me to hydrate more and eat healthier -who wants to undo the good results from working out? 

Has she shared with you how she feels about accidental pregnancies -given that you don't want to be her boyfriend let alone marry her can I gently suggest you figure that out -you don't know her well, she knows she is desperately into you despite the "social status" stuff and since you're having sex randomly here and there you're not going to know if she is double protected -meaning obviously condoms break so if she's on the pill too that helps but you won't know if she's also on antibiotics (which can mess with the pill's efficacy) or taking it reliably -often the pill can cause weight gain so if she is trying to lose weight she might go off the pill -and not tell you.  Be careful if you care about becoming a co-parent wiith her.  

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On 7/9/2024 at 10:18 PM, mylolita said:

@yogacat

 

You might be interested in this doctors perspective if you appreciate the “science behind the brain” and how we process feelings:

 

 

 

I agree with what she says. I mean I agree because it makes sense. High in testosterone -> analytical, direct, decisive, good in math and engineering and you are drown to the opposite. Tell me about it hahahahahaha. There is a reason I like show-girls, it's proven by science. 

I also agree about love at first sight. We all have this love map of what we like. So when we see someone like what we have on our mind AND he/she reciprocates the interest then it's love at first sight. I agree. However, I think even love at first sight is when you have spend some hours with the other person and you feel the chemistry, not only by looking at someone. Basically, what she says is that love at first sight is when what we have on our mind meets reality and it's mutual (the key part). Makes sense to me. 

 

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2 hours ago, dias said:

https://www.bbc.com/news/live/cljy6yz1j6gt

 

What's with that guys? A couple more times and it's going to become a tradition in the US. 

I woke up to this and have been in discussion with the husband since 5:30 this morning! 
 

Wow, what a stand for him to hold up his fist like that. The bravery and stamina of this guy is inhuman! I already thought he was the best thing to hit the career politicians and establishment in along time - now I’m impressed 100 times over! 
 

I always said to the husband - it’s incredible no one has assassinated him yet. I’m sure there have already been plenty of attempts. 
 

We’re having our own movement here in the UK. Hopefully, it’s coming. Common sense, family values, individual freedom and liberty for business. Less tax, less endless immigration - on and on. Let’s hope. We have a bad first past the post system here in the UK which is so unfair as you know Dias. I sound radical when I say this but; it needs reforming so the common people can be represented fairly! 
 

This has been, sadly, not shocking but big news of course all the same. 
 

We live in strange times. You can see why the average, normal person is having this anxious urge to “hanker down” and brace for whatever changes are to come. 
 

We are working towards no mortgage very soon, shifting things around so we can get rid of any outstanding debt like that. The regular people are being squeezed, the price of living is incredible. Unsurprising when you shut down the western economy for two years, but hey; what do I know 🚬 🥃 

 

x

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3 hours ago, dias said:

  

I agree with what she says. I mean I agree because it makes sense. High in testosterone -> analytical, direct, decisive, good in math and engineering and you are drown to the opposite. Tell me about it hahahahahaha. There is a reason I like show-girls, it's proven by science. 

I also agree about love at first sight. We all have this love map of what we like. So when we see someone like what we have on our mind AND he/she reciprocates the interest then it's love at first sight. I agree. However, I think even love at first sight is when you have spend some hours with the other person and you feel the chemistry, not only by looking at someone. Basically, what she says is that love at first sight is when what we have on our mind meets reality and it's mutual (the key part). Makes sense to me. 

 

Cheers Dias! 
 

For a “romantic dreamer feeler” type, I appreciate hearing the science behind the chemistry in the brain! 
 

Of course love, like everything else, is a product of human evolution. It’s ensured our survival for hundreds of thousands of years. Raising children takes resources and time and great care - you need something to bond two people together in order to get those conditions where babies and young children can thrive.

 

For me; the science behind it doesn’t take away any of the power of love. The feeling deep inside your beating heart is the same regardless of the biological process, electrical wiring or chemical changes. 
 

I do think some people “feel” more than others. Putting yourself out there, resigning to someone, is of course, a risk. An educated risk, hopefully - but a risk all the same. 
 

To say “I love you” is zero to no risk at all to me. To lay your feelings bare and be honest, or as near honest and near your true self with someone else, is no risk either. It’s a freeing and very special thing. Where the risk comes in is actually singing your legal documents, making real commitments, deciding to raise children, buying property and sharing assets - you’re putting your money where your mouth is. 
 

To open up to someone initially, when things like an outstanding connection is made - is not haphazard or illogical, or silly, or naive, as some others suggested on that thread. They are just words, just feelings. No babies have been made yet, no houses bought, no prenups signed. Yet people seem ultra cautious the wrong way round. They’ll jump into buying a house, but take a year to get real and be honest in their feelings towards another. 
 

I don’t regret the way I approached things one single bit. If I had my life again, I’d count my lucky stars to have this play out on the cards the way my hand has. And I celebrate it, and appreciate it, and roll around in this love I have every single day - I swear that - it is never under appreciated by me. It never goes unnoticed, unnoted, or taken for granted. 

 

If someone were to ask me, what my religion was? In honesty, I would have to say, I worship at the alter of love - and always have. It’s not a bad thing to be fanatical about. My conviction is STRONG! 🥲
 

I could have easily been single and a virgin until I was 50. All my life even. I was that principled about what I wanted! My map was specific and a little strange, maybe just like me? Chance had it I met someone with a mind as kooky and passionate as mine, in male form! What I wanted wasn’t really that out there, but it just so happened, like Romeo and Juliet “star crossed lovers”, the planets aligned that night! 
 

You’re also right Dias, with the masculine logic. Dr Fisher mentions music is typically masculine, because it is logical and mathematical. This is the real reason why the great asocial composers of the past were men. I can get that as someone who can read music and plays a few instruments myself. I’m no genius of course, but I can see the pattern of it.

 

I make no apologies for being… head over heels. And struck down, and captured, the night I met my husband. I might have spent the rest of my life quite happily pining at the idea of him if he had not loved me back. 
 

There is a corny Bryan Adams song that seems to sum it up for me. Allow me some cheese on your lovely journal Dias? 🥲🥲🥲 Get your sick buckets ready. But! It’s darn true, I tell ya! 
 

Love is good - pure - precious - true! It’s the most beautiful thing. I will champion it till the day I die! I live for love, and as Helen Fisher also stated - I would die for love, too. 
 

It’s all a part of being this silly mammal and our human condition. I embrace it anyway. No! Revel in it! Like the poet, the artist, the musician, the writer! Fuelled by feelings, and observations of - the heart. 
 

Take it away BRYAN!

 

Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman? 

 

“When you see your unborn children, in her eyes - you know you really, love your woman!”
 

——


To really love a woman

to understand her, you gotta know her deep inside

Hear every thought, see every dream

and give her wings when she wants to fly

Then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms

You know you really, love a woman 

 

When you love a woman

you tell her that she’s really wanted

When you love a woman, you tell her that she’s the One

Cause she needs somebody to tell her that it’s gonna last forever

So tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman? 
 

To really love a woman

let her hold you, til you know how she needs to be touched 

You gotta breathe her, really taste her, till you can feel her in your blood

And when you can see your unborn children, in her eyes

You know you really, love a woman 

 

When you love a woman

you tell her that she’s really wanted

When you love a woman, you tell her that she’s The One

Cause she needs somebody, to tell her that you’ll always be together

So tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman? 
 

You gotta give her some time

Hold her tight, a little tenderness, you gotta treat her right

She will be there for you taking good care of you

You really got to love your woman

——-

 

I have seen the most stoic men, turned to mush, by the woman they love. I have seen tough; street hardened men, like children, begging, over a woman they truly love. I have seen fully grown men cry, my husband included, because of love. 
 

It’s a powerful thing, to be wielded with care. It’s awesome 🥲

 

On my grave I may quote Bjork and happily state:

 

“All Is Full Of Love” 

 

x

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I also have to add, for the logical types, or people who come from strings of failed relationships, or bad examples of what it is to be in a partnership whilst growing up - and that pure trust these days is looked upon as nativity and stupidity. And especially from people with a jaded experience.
 

I have had jealous women ask me, because my husband works away, “How do you know he’s not cheating?” (These women have all been cheated on before, let me add).

 

And my answer is firstly, I think, how rude. Secondly, it doesn’t matter about having to think about it - I know he’s not. And that 100% unwavering trust baffles them. They’ve never experienced it before, never known someone inside out enough to be able to read them like a book anyway. I can tell whether the hubs is slightly thirsty before he knows, let alone if he’s carrying on three affairs behind my back.

 

It wouldn’t happen. Not to say it isn’t possible, of course not. But ask me the same - and I’ll give you the exact answer he would which is, never.

 

Why would anything else compare? And why would we risk what we have, for silly shallow flings of instant gratification? 
 

When we have problems, we talk. When we find someone else attractive, we joke openly about it to each other. There can be and is no hiding. Of course we don’t run down every micro thought to each other, and there are things I privately work on and goals he privately chips away at before revealing to me too - our independence like that is what I think keeps intrigue high between us, and stops familiarity and boredom setting in. 
 

Basically Dias, I ain’t perfect, I know very little, but what I do know about is my relationship, and how we keep this thing buoyant and fun and passionate. 
 

I see a lot of single women jaded, cynical, down and frankly unhappy seeming, even lonely - telling me about love, and relationships. I’m sorry, I have to just take it all with a pinch of salt because, I’m not taking advice from a quack, when I have the knowledge of a doctor right here behind me.

 

It’s just the truth. 
 

If I need diet, exercise, programming and many other things I am sure you are brilliant at, I’ll be braying down your door to hear what you have to say. 
 

No one should be listening to my diet advice and hell I wouldn’t even have the audacity to give it 🤣 One knows better than that! And One also knows where Ones strengths lies! 
 

What do they say these days? Stay in your own lane? 
 

Speak on what you know sounds better to me. 
 

Get serious minded about something and I’ll take that person seriously. If you have no action to back up what you preach, I switch off. And it’s not mean or ignorant of me to think that - it’s simply common sense!

 

So, my exercise questions will be coming thick and fast and, you’ll tell me to lift weights 🏋️ 🤣 and I’ll say, oh my God! Nooooooooooooooooooo! 😆

 

x

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PS - I know plenty a “show gal” type but Dias, I think after a year of that, you’d wish you’d never been born 🤣🤣🤣

 

I have an ex dancer friend coming up to see me in the next few weeks. Her gangster ex boyfriend who she had a son with used dirty cash to attain a business for her. She ditched him and now runs three businesses, but has dated and lived with women ever since.

 

This is one of those unspoken observations but, in that sex industry world, a lot of the girls I worked with also did porn or web cam or were escorts (this is before OnlyFans and wow, do I feel old saying that!) and, a lot of them after a few years derived this hatred for men, and turned to women. Became lesbians. It’s this strange phenomenon. Too much of it for me to not see a pattern. 
 

Anyway, the men they do date and have all their kids with; are crazy. Not the nice types you take home to ya Mama. What a lot of those girls respect is thuggery, street power, and above all - lots of money. Cage fighters, boxers, bouncers, gang members, night club owners, ex military gone wrong drug dealers and pimps. I spent three years watching my back in there and saying no to drugs. Never even smoked a joint in my life, I was like, the most upright lapdancer there ever was - stiff arse - is the hilarious British long lost term 🤣 Square would be the American equivalent I guess. 
 

You say you want it but honestly, it would be doing you no favours. Not any of the ones I knew.

 

There was one that stood out, slightly alternative chick, obviously fantastic figure but they all had great bodies, very tall and leggy, blonde with a little diamond nose stud. She was studying psychology at a really prestigious uni. She modelled on the side as well - glamour modelling, topless; things like that - and she paid all her student debt off in a year, plus ran her own place and drove a sports car. She was 23. She left and as far as I know, she was actually engaged like me that last year of her dancing and I never heard from her, but like to imagine she rode off into the sunset, to sit in her exceptionally classic doctors office, clip board on lap, knowing privately that in the year 2009 she had the best nips in England and now prescribes anti-depressants to the middle class men who used to throw notes at her to “take it off!” 🤣

 

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I think there's a reason marriage is sometimes described as "taking the plunge" because no we can't know all we can't control all and that includes -sure -our partner might betray our trust, etc. but you take a leap of faith - and for me it's a combo of head and heart - and you decide to take that (very tiny!) risk when you commit.,  My husband travels regularly.  I worry - zero- of him cheating or anything like it. He is the same about me. 

I traveled a lot before I had our son. If I wanted to go out socially on my own -and I do at times of course -no issue. Same the other way. Before mommyhood I went out socially all the time without him -we were long distance -fancy parties, dinner parties, gatherings, whatever.

Temptation of all kinds is everywhere so there's no point in getting married IMO if the requirement is "you'll never even be tempted not even a little bit" -that's not even in the marriage vows -you cannot act on temptation (or to me -put yourself in true playing with fire situations -to me that's just silly). For me being more of a person who loves structure and having a sense of control and having been the runaway bride in the past- I marveled at how magical and natural and awesome it felt to commit to my husband, to take marriage vows, etc.

For me it's about being reasonably sure that the person you are with is your person, will be loyal, etc - 100% sure - at least in my life -doesn't truly exist and it doesn't need to to have a happy committed relationship.  

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On 7/13/2024 at 8:48 AM, dias said:

We met on Thursday, she was in the city center so I asked her if she wanted to come to my office. We went out for a drink after this and ended up in a hotel apparently hahaha. These were good 5 hours of rough sex. Damn, she likes it rough and she wakes up my basic instincts with this. I haven't done so much hair pulling and slapping in my life. That was good sex. 

She teared up at some point saying she doesn't want to lose me. I don't want to lose her either and I reminded her we agreed we will stay friends. She said it's not the same and the sexual chemistry she has with me is beyond normal, she wants to have sex with me all day everyday for the rest of our lives. We do have chemistry, mine is more about the communication part as I haven't found this before. I had more sexual chemistry with other girls before from my side but I never had such chemistry in terms of personality with another girl. It's really strange. It's the feeling you have that you know the other person for years whilst in reality we know each other 1.5 months. 

So far in my life, the girls I liked didn't like me back and with girls that liked me I didn't feel the same. Although now it's not exactly mutual from my side, it's the first time I have so much chemistry with a girl who likes me this much. So this is how it feels like. That's something new to me. 

She says she is in love with me, I don't believe it, she is a player*. I don't have a problem with this, I like that we talk so transparently. We have pretty good communication and we laugh a lot. I love this part. She is going out with a uni professor now who has a PhD from Cambridge and they work on the same field so I believe it's a better match. He has the social status she so desires hahaha.  She is going to move on quickly I think. Although I do like having sex with her,  losing the sex part is not that important, but I would like to keep her as a friend in my life at least. 

Dunno, we will see....

*You would think the good looking people are the players. Nope, usually it's the average looking people who are the players in both genders. Isn't that funny?

Damn. Hot stuff...

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I am burnt out physically and emotionally. We had a 8 hours rehearsal for the hip-hop performance which is next weekend. Combine that with work (which thankfully is slow these days), working out, meeting and talking to this girl all day, and I am done. My parents also are staying with me because bro is coming next week and I have to listen to their bs all day long. Worse than Chinese torture. 

When I was 20 I might had enough energy to keep going, now my brain and body shut down willy-nilly. People are so energy vampires........I need to spend one week alone without talking to anyone to recharge. I am so tired I don't even want to talk. 

We ended it with this girl yesterday, I think this time is final, it is for me I believe. I don't even have energy for sex, let alone spending time together. At least now I am pretty certain she is not that into me despite what she says, she already hooked up with 2 other guys since Thursday when we had 5 hours of sex. I am still tired from then. She made it easier. Thank God. I don't have more energy to give to anyone or anything. When I am done with the performance, I am doing nothing aside from work and running. I don't want to talk to anyone, friends, girls or parents. 

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In my 40s as a new mom I all of a sudden had less energy for socializing -it was very odd but I get it especially because we had a lot of house guests and parents etc-even though we were close with them it was draining so I can't imagine if you have a lot of annoying stuff....

I'd take what the woman said with a grain of salt as to whether she actually did hook up with two men or even one.  

I'm glad work at least is quiet - that's a blessing with all you have going on.  Good luck with the rest of the visit!

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On 7/15/2024 at 8:02 AM, dias said:

I am burnt out physically and emotionally. We had a 8 hours rehearsal for the hip-hop performance which is next weekend. Combine that with work (which thankfully is slow these days), working out, meeting and talking to this girl all day, and I am done. My parents also are staying with me because bro is coming next week and I have to listen to their bs all day long. Worse than Chinese torture. 

When I was 20 I might had enough energy to keep going, now my brain and body shut down willy-nilly. People are so energy vampires........I need to spend one week alone without talking to anyone to recharge. I am so tired I don't even want to talk. 

We ended it with this girl yesterday, I think this time is final, it is for me I believe. I don't even have energy for sex, let alone spending time together. At least now I am pretty certain she is not that into me despite what she says, she already hooked up with 2 other guys since Thursday when we had 5 hours of sex. I am still tired from then. She made it easier. Thank God. I don't have more energy to give to anyone or anything. When I am done with the performance, I am doing nothing aside from work and running. I don't want to talk to anyone, friends, girls or parents. 

Sorry to hear you’re feeling the drain Dias! 
 

I find, when you’re doing something you really love, or are with someone you love or intensely like, you derive energy and happiness from those situations (within reason, of course!)

 

You have mentioned your are introverted? You may need more time alone than some other types of people. A weekend relaxing in solitary might di you good! 
 

x

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Nothing you‘ve done this week will be as taxing as this though…

 

…when your 4 year old girlie comes and declares “I’ve made a puzzle for you Mammy!”

 

Tells you you have to do it, puts one piece in her obscure abstract dinky spider web and then waves a flying squirrel at ya 🤣🤣 🐿️ 💜 

 

Einstein couldn’t crack this one ☝️ 

IMG_4180.jpeg

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