Still in love with my ex girlfriend. I feel like I can’t escape.

[Lgm]

Struggling, need advice.

so, I am still in love with my ex girlfriend who has been bullying me over the course of the last month or so. It has resulted in putting me in a deep dark place with my mental health.

 

Strangely, I do love her but she will not stop with the abuse. 
 

she has insulated my appearance, badly characterised me to the point where I feel as if I’m a bad person, worthless and I have slid into a depression. She has blocked me and unblocked me to tell me she is seeing someone else to really cause me pain and then told me it was a lie she just wanted to hurt me. 

I have blocked her on everything but she still manages to contact me. Besides that, I miss someone around me/being in a relationship and I love her….I feel like I can’t escape.

 

what do I do?

[Seraphim]

Block her on everything and change your phone number. Love is not abuse . If she doesn’t stop contacting you have a cease and desist letter sent to her. 

[Lgm]

2 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Block her on everything and change your phone number. Love is not abuse . If she doesn’t stop contacting you have a cease and desist letter sent to her. 

It’s got to the stage where I’ve started to question my over personality to the point where I’m thinking I’m the bad person.

I hate being alone and I miss someone being around but she is doing all she can to make me mentally ill. 
 

ironically, she is studying psychology at uni…

[Seraphim]

7 minutes ago, Lgm said:

It’s got to the stage where I’ve started to question my over personality to the point where I’m thinking I’m the bad person.

I hate being alone and I miss someone being around but she is doing all she can to make me mentally ill. 
 

ironically, she is studying psychology at uni…

Ah so she is a really nasty piece of work. Like I said block her everywhere ,change your phone number and get a lawyer to send her a cease-and-desist letter. If she still doesn’t stop contacting you contact the police. 

[Rose Mosse]

2 hours ago, Lgm said:

It’s got to the stage where I’ve started to question my over personality to the point where I’m thinking I’m the bad person.

I hate being alone and I miss someone being around but she is doing all she can to make me mentally ill. 
 

ironically, she is studying psychology at uni…

Speak with your doctor about any recurring mental health issues, loneliness, depression and mood disorders. Ask for help and support regarding options for counselling. You already know what’s causing your decline or issues and it’s turning to your ex or keeping her around. 

Change your email address or number  if necessary and/or block her, avoid her completely and look for that additional support with your doctor and health care providers.

[MissCanuck]

I would seek out some professional counselling, OP. 

You've attached your self-worth to this abusive person, and that is what is ultimately keeping you stuck. 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Lgm said:

 It has resulted in putting me in a deep dark place with my mental health.

 I feel as if I’m a bad person, worthless and I have slid into a depression. 

Sorry this is happening. How long were you dating? How old is she?

Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

See a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Discuss this "dark place". Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

First take care of your physical and mental health. 

[Lgm]

32 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How long were you dating? How old is she?

Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

See a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Discuss this "dark place". Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

First take care of your physical and mental health. 

It’s been happening since we had broken up.

 

she is 26 and I’m 28. She suffers with anxiety and depression from the neglect and abuse she has had from her parents growing up. This has made her very untrustworthy in our relationship. She has gone through old photos in my phone from 2 years before we got together of me and my ex, who was very good friend beforehand, and has said “I’m still in love with her, why haven’t I deleted them”. I have 5,000 photos in my phone with a lot of memories. She also accuses me of cheating and thinks I’m untrustworthy but has no proof or evidence to show this. She makes up scenarios where she then accuses me of being a cheat. I have never ever cheated, ever spoken to a female in a flirty way or done anything to be untrustworthy. She has told me that her mental health makes her do this and her neglect has a large part of it. But once I tell her/ use that in an argument, she said I’m abusive. I probably deliver it in a wrong way at the height of my emotions. she says I’m abusive and use her mental health agains her. We both know it’s causes problems and I’ve tried to stay with her to help her but it’s being turned around on me and I’m receiving a lot insults to my appearance, she says I’m stupid and thick and has 2 brain cells, she insults me character and it very painful to hear.

she is studying psychology at degree level and is very intelligent so I doubt myself and think I am the one who is the bad person. She has made me feel like I shouldn’t be with anyone, like I’m a really nasty person, and that I should seek help for the way I treat her.

I am the most loving and caring person and I feel very vulnerable because she knows I can be hurt, and she knows I care about her.

I will go and seek psychological help for my well-being but I need to try to lose the attachment.

 

sorry for the poor grammar, I haven’t slept all night, she called me off a no caller ID up to 15 times, I answered, and it was just to tel me she was with another guy (obviously to hurt me) it worked and I feel awful.

[Rose Mosse]

You’ll lose that attachment when you’re committed to improving your life first so don’t keep in contact with her hoping that you miraculously stop being attached. It doesn’t work that way. You put in the work and do the scary thing that hurts at first but is better for your overall well-being by not having any contact with her. 

A psychology education at “degree level” (Bachelors?) really means very little. Any bachelors degree doesn’t constitute much these days. It doesn’t mean she’s any smarter or more worthy of respect than you. Try not to award someone so much respect when they haven’t earned it from you or treated you well. It’s also possible that you deal with low feelings of self worth prior to her being in your life or maybe feel like since you don’t have a similar educational background or higher that you need to keep seeking validation from her. 

When someone tells you you’re controlling or difficult to be around such that she told you you can agree or disagree. If you disagree don’t try to persuade someone else otherwise. They’re entitled to what they think and all you need to do is respect that and walk away.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Lgm said:

 She has made me feel like I shouldn’t be with anyone, like I’m a really nasty person, and that I should seek help for the way I treat her.

How long were you dating?  Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

See a physician. It doesn't matter what she's studying in school.

There's mental health hotlines you can call until you can get an appointment with a physician. 

 

 

[MissCanuck]

2 hours ago, Lgm said:

she is studying psychology at degree level

That doesn't mean she would make any kind of decent psychologist, nor that she isn't abusive. One can be good at studying, but also terrible at life. 

2 hours ago, Lgm said:

I will go and seek psychological help for my well-being but I need to try to lose the attachment.

Pyschological support will help you break this attachment, Lgm. 

[smackie9]

Change your cel number and email, go under an assumed name on social media. That will quieten things down a bit.