Gf broke up with me due to limited contact

[Hershey_S]

A few weeks back my gf of 2 years broke up with me. We were still in love with each other but circumstances made it hard for us to keep our barriers open especially her. She felt like she was losing her emotional connection with me. We were dating in secret because my dad does not support me being in relationships and it made it hard for us to meet up even though we were not long distance. Later this year I am going to college for 2 years. I really feel like we were perfect for each other and she said the same but it was just the wrong time. I want to show her that I'm willing to do whatever it takes for us. I will tell my dad so I can meet her everyday during breaks and visit her every month during long distance. I just recently opened up contact with her as friends, but it hurts cause it's not the same as before. She also doesn't respond really fast which is fine as I am not her bf anymore but I feel like she's closed herself from me. 

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Hershey_S said:

A few weeks back my gf of 2 years broke up with me. We were still in love with each other but circumstances made it hard for us to keep our barriers open especially her.  We were dating in secret because my dad does not support me being in relationships and it made it hard for us to meet up even though we were not long distance. 

Sorry this is happening. How old is she? Have you met her friends and family? Why is dating forbidden? Age? Religion? Culture? Focus on school? 

Surely no one wants to be a secret. Were her family as disapproving of dating as yours? Are you from different cultures/religions? 

 Stay in touch while at college, but keep in mind you both may need to be free from being tied down in LDRs to enjoy college life and focus on school.

[Hershey_S]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How old is she? Have you met her friends and family? Why is dating forbidden? Age? Religion? Culture? Focus on school? 

Surely no one wants to be a secret. Were her family as disapproving of dating as yours? Are you from different cultures/religions? 

 Stay in touch while at college, but keep in mind you both may need to be free from being tied down in LDRs to enjoy college life and focus on school.

We are both 18. I turn 19 in a month. I know all her close friends and have met her family and she's met my close friends and my sister. My dad is really controlling and doesn't let me or my sister who is 21 do anything when we are at home. I have a really bad relation with him so it's fine if I break boundaries there as he never respected me but now I feel like it's too late to show my girlfriend. I understand what you're saying about long distance and I feel like that was part of the reason we broke up. I just feel like I couldn't give 100% due to my home issues and now I've had some time to recollect I want to give her all my time and love when I'm in town like I wanted to. I just don't know if or when I should tell her. 

[Rose Mosse]

Have a job lined up while you’re studying and support yourself. While your father is paying the bills or your tuition I think you still owe him some respect.

The problem is you’re both young and in an important phase of your life where you start thinking for yourself and being financially independent. This transition period in any young person’s life makes it difficult to sustain long term relationships. You need to choose how you’re going to spend your time. I had far less time studying at your age than I did working later on. You may also relocate for work. It’s not impossible to  remain in one relationship but your father has a point that you may be shortchanging yourself in the long run.

What are her plans for school? 

[Hershey_S]

6 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

Have a job lined up while you’re studying and support yourself. While your father is paying the bills or your tuition I think you still owe him some respect.

The problem is you’re both young and in an important phase of your life where you start thinking for yourself and being financially independent. This transition period in any young person’s life makes it difficult to sustain long term relationships. You need to choose how you’re going to spend your time. I had far less time studying at your age than I did working later on. You may also relocate for work. It’s not impossible to  remain in one relationship but your father has a point that you may be shortchanging yourself in the long run.

What are her plans for school? 

My dad has no idea about my relationship at all. Like the whole fact that I have been dating. He has never met my gf and doesn't know about her. I already have money lined up for college as does she as she has been working. I am in computer science so my internships pay well so it will cover my tuition. I also have scholarships to cover my living expenses. 

[limichelle]

Then you should be good to not live there anymore right? If your tuition and living expenses are covered? 
 

I would move out and live on your own regardless of this girl. That way in your next relationship you can make your own rules.

[Hershey_S]

5 minutes ago, limichelle said:

Then you should be good to not live there anymore right? If your tuition and living expenses are covered? 
 

I would move out and live on your own regardless of this girl. That way in your next relationship you can make your own rules.

Yes I am planning on moving out by the end of summer completely but I still don't know what to tell my ex as I want to tell her about this but don't know if it's too soon or if I should tell her at all.

[Rose Mosse]

She broke up with you and may find there are other things about you that are incompatible with her. To put this very bluntly there may be character traits about you that are unappealing and it may not necessarily be about your father or what he thinks. 

Internships come after a period of study, first 1-2 years. And you haven’t even passed the first year yet where many students are culled. Don’t be too sure about having that money in your pocket just yet. Do well with your studies and focus on school. 

If you want closure or to bring this up with your ex again, ask her out to coffee and keep it simple. Tell her you still care about her and in your move you’ll also be more flexible with your time. My guess is she’s not with you for other reasons. Hear her out if she wants to speak about it. If she says no to a coffee or meeting with you or any variation of “no it is over” then move on. Let this go and date other women when you’re ready.