Matter2134 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 So last night he moved out of my plac he said he couldn’t do it anymore and blames me for everything background in this is he has an ex wife who he won’t set boundaries with. His phone is his obsession and the past few days it’s hiding it from me no taking it to bed etc. I saw a text from a coworker and looks like he is chatting with her. He said I accuse him often which is not true. He just jumped up last night after I asked him to please put his phone away and he said he is leaving and can’t take this anymore. I called a few times to say tell me the truth because I don’t believe this was random it was planned. He says it wasn’t one day saying he loves me next minute walking out. He said last night after he left that he is angry he loves me but for me to leave him alone. Then he says he can’t lose me so confusing. So today he wants to talk. *** Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 Is this the same guy from a few months ago? I'm sorry you're in a bad situation. Link to comment
Matter2134 Posted January 19, 2022 Author Share Posted January 19, 2022 25 minutes ago, Batya33 said: Is this the same guy from a few months ago? I'm sorry you're in a bad situation. Guess it’s my own fault. Should have stayed away from him Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 41 minutes ago, susanhelp said: So last night he moved out of my plac he said he couldn’t do it anymore and blames me for everything background in this is he has an ex wife who he won’t set boundaries with. His phone is his obsession and the past few days it’s hiding it from me no taking it to bed etc. I saw a text from a coworker and looks like he is chatting with her. He said I accuse him often which is not true. He just jumped up last night after I asked him to please put his phone away and he said he is leaving and can’t take this anymore. I called a few times to say tell me the truth because I don’t believe this was random it was planned. He says it wasn’t one day saying he loves me next minute walking out. He said last night after he left that he is angry he loves me but for me to leave him alone. Then he says he can’t lose me so confusing. So today he wants to talk. *** Can you remind me again why it matters whether he’s telling the truth or not? There’s no inherent trust in the relationship so the dynamic is he’s either eternally proving he’s trustworthy or you’re chasing for the “truth”. It doesn’t sound like your enjoy or respect him either. Cut your losses please. Don’t waste a second of your life on this. Be with the ones you can trust and stop fighting against that one thing that you do know - he can’t be trusted. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 9 minutes ago, susanhelp said: Guess it’s my own fault. Should have stayed away from him It's not about fault -from what you wrote I'm not sure what you evaluated to make that choice. Link to comment
Matter2134 Posted January 19, 2022 Author Share Posted January 19, 2022 Only going on what he said. He said I’m to blame for destroying us. But then said he needs to see if he is making a rash decision Didn’t want me to pack up the rest of his things said let’s talk tomorrow Link to comment
Matter2134 Posted January 19, 2022 Author Share Posted January 19, 2022 14 minutes ago, Batya33 said: It's not about fault -from what you wrote I'm not sure what you evaluated to make that choice. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 42 minutes ago, susanhelp said: Only going on what he said. He said I’m to blame for destroying us. But then said he needs to see if he is making a rash decision Didn’t want me to pack up the rest of his things said let’s talk tomorrow This is called gaslighting. It's a form of abuse/manipulation to confuse you and make you think it's all in your head. Stop talking to him, and be done with this madness. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 44 minutes ago, susanhelp said: Didn’t want me to pack up the rest of his things said let’s talk tomorrow Did he move out or not? Is this the same man?: Link to comment
Matter2134 Posted January 19, 2022 Author Share Posted January 19, 2022 Yes moved out Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 4 minutes ago, susanhelp said: Yes moved out Why is his stuff there? Have you changed the locks? Link to comment
Matter2134 Posted January 19, 2022 Author Share Posted January 19, 2022 14 minutes ago, smackie9 said: This is called gaslighting. It's a form of abuse/manipulation to confuse you and make you think it's all in your head. Stop talking to him, and be done with this madness. Agreed and he moved all his clothes there is a few things here he needs to get I guess he didn’t have time last night I haven’t heard from him yet today but I’ll pack it up and drop of off 1 Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 Okay, if you posted about him back in September, then YOU need to sit back & take a good look at the whole picture. - Healthy boundaries with ex don't exist. - He hides his phone - He's blaming YOU for everything? So, attitude for him, trust for you. ( all of what you mentioned today..) Not sure how long you've been involved, but sounds like none of this is any good - and has been crumbling for a while, right? I say you stop giving in and letting HIM act like this. You need to find your inner strength and get out of this . 1 Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 3 hours ago, susanhelp said: Only going on what he said. He said I’m to blame for destroying us. But then said he needs to see if he is making a rash decision Didn’t want me to pack up the rest of his things said let’s talk tomorrow Why would you "go on" what this person said? Are you his puppet? Do you just blow in the direction of what Mr. Windbag takes you? 1 Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 4 hours ago, susanhelp said: Agreed and he moved all his clothes there is a few things here he needs to get I guess he didn’t have time last night I haven’t heard from him yet today but I’ll pack it up and drop of off Just pack up his stuff and change the locks.🔑📦 Do Not Go To his place. Arrange a time he can pick them up. Then delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging apps.🔕 Then jump for joy that you are finally free of this clown.🤡 1 Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 5 hours ago, susanhelp said: But then said he needs to see if he is making a rash decision Didn’t want me to pack up the rest of his things said let’s talk tomorrow Probably he wants to check first that he can stay with whichever woman he's hiding from you. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 On 1/19/2022 at 3:29 PM, MissCanuck said: Probably he wants to check first that he can stay with whichever woman he's hiding from you. Yep, and if not, does it really matter? Decide how you want to live. If suspicion and mistrust isn't part of that vision, then good riddance to this guy. Link to comment
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